::Bet you never thought i'd be here again..... by the time most read this it'll be days old.... WHERE to start..... HMMM first heather if you read my blog, please take care of you're warrent.... It's not like im trying to make this public i've tried to get ahold of you, but thats not so easy.... ANYWAYS you have a warrent on my car for that ticket and i get pulled over all the time for bullshit you couldnt finish..... Im sorry im still really pissed about it..... I guess you're going to have to stay in hawaii bc if you come back you're cute little hawaiian ass is gonna be in jail.... warrents suck, too bad for you... PROB should have gotten that taken care of before you RAN off to hawaii...... silly rabbit, tricks are for kids..... ;) p.s. i always keep dirty names out of my mouth....
Anyways Dustin and i are still together.... We're going on 10 months @ the end of this month.... we've almost made it a year.... Speaking of relationships sam and tt are still together, sam and i kinda started talking again... GOOD to hear good ole voices.... it's good to get past drama, no lies.....
Back to Dustin, things still are kinda different, im always wanting to talk to other guys, he gets jealous... bla bla bla blah...... i quit smoking weed awhile back, it seems it doesnt really get you to class..... SPEAKING OF class... Im starting a new school this thursday actually, i go 730-430 tues,thurs and sat... BUT by the end of 2 years i have a degree in interior design and 70% of my work is all towards my degree.... I tested out of all the math, english bullshit... tcc was such a joke..... so im really excited about it... my parents on the other hand arent quite as excited.... the cost is $37,000.... and yes i mean 3 zero's.... Its a private school so badass..... school's loooking up....
Hurley's a year old now, he's so sweet.... and a great dog.... I still talk to mikey... SPeaking mikey shaved his head off around christmas, WOW.... BIG MISTAKE but it looks good now bc it's growing out and he got it colored and it looks bad ass... so good for him... He loooks good, isnt dating anyone, but still sweet as ever......
Went and saw constantine last night, really good movie... Dustin and i went to go see it the other day but we were so fucked up in a good way (if that makes sense) we left early... I think it might have had something to do with getting it on..... ;)
Ok now that i've written so much and feel like i've got alot out......
Heather,
I need you to know i really did appreciate you're friendship, it sucked that we had to go out like we did. It sucked that we had to have the conversation's we had, the way we had to give each others clothes back... ALL THAT bullshit.... HOWEVER we went through some shit, we saw some things differently.... Im glad you're happy where you are.... I truley believe it's where you need to be and obviously you feel the same way, so in that way im happy for you..... I dont know what you feel, all i know is i feel bitter about getting pulled over for something you LEFT on me..... i feel like you walked away on purpose or ran bc you didnt know any other way... (understandibly) i wouldnt be jumping off a bridge for you at the time either... if you care, just tell them you moved, shit i dont know... ALL I know is i cant do anything, its in you're hands..... It's not like i keep shit i shouldnt have in my car so i dont mind the police, i just hate getting pulled over...... So that's that......

Life takes you through crazy shit, its a wild ride, but what a gift.............
love and peace and kisses too.... stay safe......until i write again::

.:Anna blogged on 11:11 AM:.
...
::Hmmmmm lets see where to begin, 4:46 am.... not tired....
Have like 80 million things going on in my head right now..... Sometimes things seem so sweet until you realize all the sour that comes along with it..... I guess im confused, frustrated, indifferent.... A certain friend brought to my attention the other day..... about the word drama.... whether i considered if it was overused or not..... But it seems like since it was recognized i tried to forget about everything that was happening around me......
I mean one second i feel happy, the next confused, then frustrated..... I mean what defines actual happiness???? Is everything what you make it to be or what is just given to you???? Its like im happy, uhhhh yeah i recognize that.... or do i??? GOd i have so many things going on in my head... I feel like sometimes things are good, and then wham all of a sudden its like getting hit with a fucking bat..... I feel like a huge rock is on my chest, hard to breathe..... I mean that comes with life right? You deal with the cards that are handed to you...... RIGHT????? I hate having serious conversation..... I hate when you think one second things are right and then the next WHAM its all gone..... I feel like im supposed to define what life should be or what people consider social norms... blah out the kazooo.... I just need some time to be with my friends, old school that i havent seen in forever... I NEED That BREATH of freash air.... GOD I NEED SOMETHING.... ITs like im scared to post this bc someone might have an opinion on what i REALLY think... WHY DO PEOPLE have to analyze what they think is right.... WHAT happened to just writing down your feelings bc you need to NOT Because you think someone might read what you wrote down to critize your feelings..... I guess its a matter of me being confused and frustrated as a stated earlier..... I mean what you have one LIFE fucking make the best of it???? Being with someone that you think or know you love, when did that not become important anymore???? DO you have to define love for more than what you originally thought love was supposed to be....????? One day things are good, one second or period of time you TRY living life w/o the anti depressants to just see LIFE for what it is... Not what some prescription is supposed to make you feel like for what other people think you need... GOD THIS IS ME.... this is what im supposed to feel. IF YOU CANT FEEL LIFE FOR WHAT IT IS??? then what the fuck is it all about????? whats the fucking point.... I guess im angry along with everything else... ITs like trying to explain something to someone when they're minds are closed off to what they WANT it all to be... AND NO MATTER what gets said, its their word, WHAT THEY FUCKIGN WANT IT TO BE... ANd is that supposed to make me happy and if not am i supposed to SUPPRESS what i feel????? I mean god, this is my life..... ( did i just repeat myself?) fuck it feels like it... Is someone else supposed to fucking choose my life for me, make my own fuckign decisions when this whole time excuse me, i thought i was living my LIFE for myself.... WHEN DID love not matter.... Can we refer back to a few moments ago in my mind when god reading the bible.... LOVE IS PATIENT, LOVE is KIND, it doesn't envy or boast... ITS JUST LOVE, pure and simple..... ITs like after so long you pour your heart and soul to someone and thats just not fucking good enough.... ITS DEPRESSING.... YOU WANT ME TO BE HONEST???? its depressing..... Its like a fucking 80 ton stone on you're chest and you can't breathe... ITs like hitting the ceiling and having no where else left to go.... WHAT THEN huh????? WIth all the honesty in my heart as we speak this second one person that comes to my mind is a lady friend of mine, kyleen. THat girl always has wisdom way beyond her years.... I miss the hell out of that girl... I miss just driving around with her so we could just shoot the shit, appreciate good music... INSTEAD of all the so called drama i get caught up in... IS THIS WHAT LOVES SUPPOSED to be about???? i dont even know anymore.... WHEN i love you surpasses the actual event, when it doesnt fucking become good enough, what the hell then????? I knew if i just wrote down everything i was feeling i hoped i would just feel better, feel relaxed with some conclusion that hey everything might be alright... ITs not like i can just talk about it, to who??? Im sad frustrated and sorry to vent.... this is my only way....
Take for example, are you someone that needs expensive gifts, do you write someone special a fucking 3o page notebook spilling your feelings for someone just to forget to read it..... Its bullshit, my heart feels empty and im TIRED of it... So tired... but where do you draw the line... GOD I wish someone knew how i feel right now.... JUst everything hurts... and i dont want to have to fuckign rely on some medication that my pyschiatrist thinks is just gonna make everything ok..... WHatever just let me be..... Im not about to slit my wrists to feel better... BC BABY im better than that, ive been down that road, several times to my dismay, where did it get me..... IT got me to realize i value my life more than some blade chilling down my wrist.....
SOmetimes i feel like i need to escape, escape from all the turmoil.... I just want to be happy.... happy with me, happy with myself, happy with my life... AND HOW THE HELL do i overcome all of that.... im lost without a map, and god lead me the way to find myself.... thats what i really need..... so im out once again like a fat trout.... as i value this post im sure someone will find someway to make it their own and to critize writings of someone else just purely bc they dont understand or not willing to fucking understand.... and that in itself is what hurts more than being smacked in teh face..... im confused, pray i find something..... all my love to anyone that might understand what the fuck im thinking..... XOXOXOXO
::

.:Anna blogged on 2:45 AM:.
...
::new blog, peace out


http://profiles.myspace.com/users/9102375 ------try that for luck......
::

.:Anna blogged on 1:07 AM:.
...
::I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE dustin lee ryon.....
So i just walked into my room and its a reck... HEY WHATS new??? Last night was really the first night i've had sleep in the past 5 days..... WOW....
Ok so SPEAKING of last night, was amazing... and i'm not talking all about sexual amazing, thats a completely different story..... anyhow dustin and i sleep next to each other all the time, but last night i dont think ive ever felt so comfortable... You know that feeling when you're laying next to someone and its just two bodies, together and its just the most wonderful feeling you've ever felt? Thats how i felt, the whole time..... If i could have froze time, last night i would have....
So i guess i'm going to try to find a new job tomorrow, i don't make shit at hollister, and i barely work EVER... BLAH BLAH BLAH....
So had a great time the other night with amanda and miss jillian. Kinda freaked out that brittney was in the next room sleeping with omus, but hey what do you do? I mean its cool there together, esp if they're happy. Its just i never saw them getting together....
Anyhow i just want to conclude i love dustin.
::

.:Anna blogged on 8:08 PM:.
...
::well there's def. been alot on my mind lately.... jodan and i quit talking, quite the amount of bullshit... So of course i should explain what exactly happened.... So I've started taking new meds... LETS NOT FORGET that i'm lucky when i get to sleep anyways.... So there is a period of 3 days where i get say about 4 hours of sleep AT THE MOST... Katie and i are over at the boys house, just having a good time (TO BE HONEST EVERYTHING IS FINE THE WHOLE TIME) then we leave and i get a call from jordan telling me i'm lying about lord only knows what??? ( o yeah why i've been awake for so long) well lets see we're just drinking at you're house and we've been UP ALL NIGHT? AND i'm so confused and like wtf, that i can't explain, I MEAN what about...... So him and my sister talk about why maybe it is that i've been awake... I dont know if amy went off in the deep end or what happened... BUT I EXPLAINED everything to her so i dont know what exactly she said to him.... So NOW jodan and i dont talk, NOT AT ALL, and i'm still confused as to why.... Like its more confusing because am i supposed to call him and justify what? that i have problems when i start taking new medicene? I dont know, i really dont.... So i guess whats meant to be will be and theres no sense in wondering why this all fell out so badly... i feel like he jumped to conclusions, i feel like im confused and all of this just kinda sucks....

::

.:Anna blogged on 11:40 AM:.
...
::my weiner is out of control....
or maybe it's me....
i mean seriously i cant really say that my dog willingly likes to go into
his kennel condo.....
just a few moments ago i looked over to see his tail hanging outside his house....
I know that, thats probably normal for some dogs but not mine....


I really like the fact that katy and i made a back pack for him....
what a good idea, seriously, on the reals.... ok i think katies peacin on the
movie so mikeys gonna stop by for a sec to say hi then hopefully i'm out to
jordans... or wait, yea i should study....
peace
::

.:Anna blogged on 7:55 PM:.

::All of these events are true and really took place, monday
night at 8:50 pm, check it out..... well earlier and then we'll
get to the 850 talk

by the way im in love with aaron loinette..... wasnt it
OBVIOUS?

banknrump (4:32:26 PM): well if u wanna know the truth i could
have handled a relationship u didnt want one w me thank u very much
banknrump (4:32:33 PM): but blame me that is cool too
APeters03 (4:33:18 PM): i do blame you
banknrump (4:33:53 PM): y is that i tried to get in a relationship u
said u didnt want to get in one then
APeters03 (4:34:06 PM): o lord we are not having THIS conversation
banknrump (4:34:22 PM): i was just thinking the same thing
APeters03 (4:34:25 PM): we BOTH KNOW it never would have worked
out but isnt it CUTE that we STILL talk abotu it
banknrump (4:35:31 PM): well i apologize for anything i did and i probably wouldnt have worked but i wish we could have found out honestly
APeters03 (4:36:33 PM): yeah right
seriously
APeters03 (4:36:49 PM): ok i'm gonna get back to studying
banknrump (4:36:52 PM): u make me laugh
APeters03 (4:36:56 PM): I know
APeters03 (4:36:59 PM): i told you im hilarious
APeters03 (4:37:09 PM): you never listen
banknrump (4:37:44 PM): o i always listen but ur not funny unless ur being serious
APeters03 (4:38:14 PM): Ok seriously then lets make out
banknrump (4:38:27 PM): im down
banknrump (4:38:41 PM): i would drive 5 hours home to kiss those lips
APeters03 (4:38:50 PM): hahha me TOO
banknrump (4:38:57 PM): now that was smooth
APeters03 (4:39:07 PM): bye sweetheart pumpkin toodle cookie cake

NEW CONVO 850 convo

banknrump (8:28:17 PM): o i bet ur not still studying
Auto response from
apeters03 (8:28:17 PM): studying.....
APeters03 (8:30:55 PM): you're right on target asswipe
banknrump (8:31:51 PM): excuse u i dont appreciate u talkin to me like that
APeters03 (8:32:11 PM): i put my dog in a back pack (well my little sister and i) we cut a hole where the pencils would go for his head to stick out, then i put on a reef rasta beanie, THEN some really cool happy feet slippers and now i'm watching finding nemo while talking to katie whitaker
APeters03 (8:32:40 PM): now tell me if thats not the thing to do RIGHT NOW OR WHAT
APeters03 (8:32:58 PM): o and i've got a really "bad ass" shirt on with a giant bass on the back
APeters03 (8:33:02 PM): jumping out of the water
APeters03 (8:33:20 PM): i'm telling you some people would say i'm the "shit"
banknrump (8:33:21 PM): well of course ur thinkin of the best date in ur life wen watching finding nemo
APeters03 (8:33:34 PM): o my gato i didnt even realize that we saw that together
APeters03 (8:33:49 PM): oooo that completely freaks me out
banknrump (8:33:50 PM): ouch
APeters03 (8:34:07 PM): no i know we saw it together but i didnt realize the corrolation of the events that are happening RIGHT NOW
banknrump (8:34:09 PM): im glad u remember the best day of my life so well
APeters03 (8:34:34 PM): seriously aaron i had no clue....
banknrump (8:34:42 PM): that date was the best thing that ever happened to me
APeters03 (8:35:19 PM): me leaving you back at your house was the best thing i ever did, or wait did you drive?
banknrump (8:35:29 PM): that really hurts my feelings
APeters03 (8:35:40 PM): ooo cmon theres no crying in baseball
APeters03 (8:36:20 PM): seriously
banknrump (8:36:26 PM): wateverbanknrump (8:39:50 PM): our two week relationship or watever is was must have meant nothing to u
banknrump (8:39:59 PM): that was the longest relationship in my life
APeters03 (8:44:22 PM): BELIEVE ME I KNOW THAT
APeters03 (8:45:36 PM): ok im sorry aaron i love you, what, i mean really what do you want me to say? that i actually believe that-that really was the BEST two weeks of you're life bc to me it was more like a couple of hours and that was all making out
APeters03 (8:46:24 PM): ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????banknrump (8:47:17 PM): i dont know wat to say
banknrump (8:47:27 PM): u summed it up pretty googd
APeters03 (8:47:28 PM): ok im totally kidding lets relax and stop rubbing your balls and chill out
banknrump (8:47:43 PM): but i want to rub my balls
APeters03 (8:48:01 PM): dont we all including my daschound
APeters03 (8:48:30 PM): and that means he has TO COME out of the back pack to do it, and i dont think he really wants to RUB you're balls
APeters03 (8:49:08 PM): i can sense a little tension visa vie akwardness during this conversation concordingly i think you should ARGO relax
banknrump (8:50:02 PM): no tension darling
banknrump (8:51:05 PM): i still think ur are the coolest person i know and i have come to realize that my chances with u are over
APeters03 (8:51:08 PM): maybe i should go back to watching finding nemo
banknrump (8:51:33 PM): that is a great movie
APeters03 (8:51:40 PM): it's basically like a game of pool, say you break the BALLS and dammit the white ball goes in first, peace THE GAMES over, you LOSE sucker.....
banknrump (8:52:07 PM): i know u dont have to remind me
APeters03 (8:52:20 PM): O we've got a pool shark here, watch OUT
APeters03 (8:52:31 PM): i swear it's the beanie doing the talking NOT me
banknrump (8:53:13 PM): i honestly dont understand y we dont chill
banknrump (8:53:21 PM): i do hav fun with u
banknrump (8:53:33 PM): but u do play games w my heart
APeters03 (8:53:48 PM): thats the best backstreet boys song EVa
APeters03 (8:53:55 PM): seriously
banknrump (8:54:03 PM): i dont know im a fan of all them
APeters03 (8:54:12 PM): i know aaron we love each other, its meant to be sure....
APeters03 (8:54:18 PM): we
APeters03 (8:54:50 PM): are like two peas in a pod that has been soiled by a dog, it's destined to grow and be eaten by some completely fat lady
APeters03 (8:55:08 PM): ok seriously lets be serious
banknrump (8:55:47 PM): so wat ever happened to ur boyfriend of so long
APeters03 (8:56:21 PM): which ONE
banknrump (8:56:35 PM): isnt that the truth
banknrump (8:56:47 PM): sounds like me and my girlfriends
APeters03 (8:57:13 PM): im kidding
APeters03 (8:57:20 PM): yeah right, dont kid yourself
APeters03 (8:57:30 PM): or me for that matter....
banknrump (8:58:15 PM): i know u act like i dont hav girlfriends but u dont ever want boyfriends
banknrump (8:58:25 PM): or at least that is wat u told me
APeters03 (8:58:27 PM): dude im seriously putting the last conversation and this conversation in the blog, its to sweet and innocent not to be seen by everyone and their dog and cat, and fish argo rats, mice and whatever else you can think up
banknrump (8:59:00 PM): that is because we are obviously in love
APeters03 (8:59:50 PM): so what are you're thoughts about queen....
banknrump (9:00:04 PM): queen wat
APeters03 (9:00:07 PM): have you ever considered being gay?
APeters03 (9:00:15 PM): the gay singer.... ummm serious
banknrump (9:00:29 PM): u really are evil
APeters03 (9:00:49 PM): aaron dont talk to me like that you know im kidding and completely in "loco" about you
APeters03 (9:01:00 PM): you're like a great beer you know
banknrump (9:01:36 PM): no im like a great sexy man
APeters03 (9:01:53 PM): oooo yes a very manly man
banknrump (9:02:39 PM): i just took a huge bong rip
APeters03 (9:04:53 PM): yeah ummmm thats cool
APeters03 (9:05:17 PM): no seriously aaron havent we discussed that im a retired smoker
banknrump (9:05:27 PM): no i know i was just tellin
banknrump (9:05:37 PM): u can still respect me smoking
APeters03 (9:05:57 PM): i can no longer say im a smoker im a joker (which i really am) i'm a midnight toker... the end part is not true.... well any longer bc i explained the whole "retired thing"
APeters03 (9:06:02 PM): or wait im a joker
APeters03 (9:06:04 PM): im a smoker
APeters03 (9:06:06 PM): i cant remember
APeters03 (9:06:17 PM): so when are you coming back
APeters03 (9:08:14 ): ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????/
banknrump (9:09:00 PM)im just fuckin around
APeters03 (9:09:04 PM): with what?
banknrump (9:09:21 PM): i know u dont smoke anymore
banknrump (9:11:58 PM): ru not gonna do anything tonite
APeters03 (9:13:00 PM): well actually im going to watch road rules ummm then grab freddy vs jason, go pick up katie and go to the muthafuckin pimp shack which is jordans robs benjis and gregs
APeters03 (9:13:15 PM): and then we're all gonna sit hold hands and sing songs
APeters03 (9:13:19 PM): if we're all lucky
APeters03 (9:13:27 PM): and that doesn't mean we're all going to get naked....
APeters03 (9:13:32 PM): what about you
APeters03 (9:17:31 PM): oooooooo really ok then im gonna watch road rules and read shooting and elephant by george orwill for school
APeters03 (9:17:36 PM): how about those apples.....
banknrump (9:17:55 PM): o well that sounds like a blast
banknrump (9:18:23 PM): im going over to all these different girls houses and im gonna pimp those hos
APeters03 (9:18:42 PM): no seriously thats what we call their house
APeters03 (9:18:57 PM): seriously now that you have a house and that i was informed by adam you guys can come up with you're own name for you're house
APeters03 (9:19:00 PM): thats just how it goes
APeters03 (9:19:12 PM): but seriously our love will continue never let go jack, never let go.....
APeters03 (9:19:23 PM): the titanic sunk just like our relationship, peace out

and thats the end of that.... time to read, and then go do the damn thing....
::

.:Anna blogged on 6:50 PM:.

::away messages while i was at work.... ;)!!!!!!!!!!!!!

banknrump (6:39:03 PM): u said u wanted something cute but unfortunately i dont hav any pics to send of me to u sorry
Auto response from apeters03(6:39:03 PM): at work till 4, leave me something cute....
banknrump (6:39:17 PM): there is obviously nothing cuter
****************************************************
Cantrell1727 (5:33:35 PM): hey hey good lookin
Auto response from apeters03 (5:33:35 PM): at work till 4, leave me something cute....
Cantrell1727 (1:41:40 AM): well i have always thought u were beautiful, maybe one day i can take u out
****************************************************
FGLOS03 (11:40:22 AM): ;) for u
Auto response from apeters03 (11:40:22 AM): at work till 4, leave me something cute....
****************************************************

Ahhhhhh cute cute cute cute cute cute cute.......
So where to start... how about last friday, a first but a memorable moment for all.... It's right up there with the incubus concert on the fourth of july during aqueous transmission, and lets see the first time i went on an expedition with ross sam and taylor... yeah basically along those lines.... let me just say i love you dustin katie and cole.... Ok now moving along... lets see saturday a day for sleep.... so i didnt do much, sunday ooo yeah i worked and then went over to cole and chads.... Ummm lets see o yes then came home, parentals a little emotional so i got myself together and went and hung out with jordan and rob...
A funny story.... from benji to me
"in benji's words"
So i come home last night to find jordan in the bathroom (oooo let me say jordan, rob, greg and benji live in this house all together-my words to u) ok anyways... -back to benji- so i come home last night to find jordan in the bathroom with the lights out, locked inside passed out, then i look into the kitchen to find rob NAKED, completely drunk and crying at the sink swaying saying why do i let myself drink this much.... so the next morning, jordan wakes up (Somehow crawled into the kitchen, passed out on the kitchen floor, and rob curled up in a fetal position NAKED in jordans bed) HAHAHAHAHHAH.... Ok thats hilarious... I guess you have to know these guys to really find this as funny as i do.... To give a little information about the boys, they're all long term friends that graduated from "tech" blech... NO OFFENCE to mi amigos at tech during this moment, i do love you guys.... ANYHOW.... So funny story, and i love those boys....
So i couldn't sleep last night so i called dustin at like 3 and the poor kids half asleep and i'm like obviously I CANT SLEEP... blah blah blah only to find myself up for another hour till i finally passed out... thank god...
So did i mention i watched the passion, finally... WOW, crazy movie, seriously, its one of those movies thats soo super intense and leaves you with you're mouth wide open, i really want to watch it again, but i always end up feeling wierd and bad.... ?
O and yes heather stopped by the other day, real good call on her part considering she only came over to bring over jack shit for katie and i... THERE was only one thing i really wanted from her and that was my 2 INDEPENDENT sweatshirts, that dont even FIT her, i dont know why she insits on keeping them, but she did... and she didnt bring katies blue top.... i dont know whatever, shes gone, good riddens....
So i need to do a little studying, so far so good.... I'm super tired though and it's 1:18.... blah blah blah.... o and did i mention i dont want to work tonight... THAT is a true statement.... i'm out... love you guys

::

.:Anna blogged on 11:00 AM:.
...
::banknrump (8:17:35 PM): i would prefer gettin married now so nobody else steals u from me
(auto respnse from apeters03) getting ready for the evening.... hit up the cell
banknrump (8:18:07 PM): no but really stop toyin w my emotions u dont know how many times i have thought about u being mrs loinette
::

.:Anna blogged on 7:11 PM:.
...
::YOU BOYS LIKE MEXXXXICCCCOOOOOOOOOOO???????

well shitfire, i know i do... This weekend was super wack and soooo super fun..... SOOOOOOO we all load up in the sub, ( that counts ROB himself, Mickaleeto, M.R whitakens, Don Juan, Myself and finally KarenKabob....) Seriously this weekend was sooooo much fun I cant even write about it.... (But we'll try anyways.....
So Rob starts of driving, we looooooove it..... Then after awhile Mike takes over and thats when the out of controlness starts happening.... Its Rob and Katie in the Middle and Jordan and I in the back, add in piss and you're well on you're way to understanding the road to mexico..... So we finally get there katie and i are so out of control its rediculous... (In a wonderful wonderful way) so we all pass out, wake up around 10 the next day, katie and i put on our bathing suits and get in the bath tub together... Katie hadn't shaved in like 3 months so it was a little out of control.... Well we suit up and head out... First we hit up this really good restaraunt, then we hit up some of the pharmacies ;) ummmm then THE CORONA club where we had sooooo many good drinks.... WOW, thats all i can say.... Soon after we go to this other club and its bad ass, i mean seriouslly BAD ass.... We were all having such a good time, except jordan and thats bc i put gum in his hair, (Accident).... O did i mention i got my nipple pierced? Ok yes, that is a TRUE statement.... Anyways walking back through the border is really fuzzy all i do know is this... While at the club katie decides to go to the bathroom, however she doesnt look to see that the seat of the toilet is still down, so she ends up pissing ALL over her pants, well shes got on this hippie shirt that goes you know a little past the waist, but not by much, so she decides TO JUST TAKE THEM OFF... forget the pants all together.... HAHAHHAHHAHAHHAH, ok get yourself together anna, so we're walking past the border and uuhhhhh these guys try to "Steal" katie by taking her flip flops (of all things) and meanwhile (or so i hear) from rob that katies screaming my name, when in fact im like 15ft behind her.... HAHHAHHAHA..... ok seriously i'm just gonna say this truly you only make it to acuna once, and this trip was BAD ASS....
oooo did i forget to mention acuna means forgotten city, tooo bad we just brought it back.... I'm out like a fat trout, meet you on the other side......
::

.:Anna blogged on 5:31 PM:.
...
::So i suppose i should hit the chappelle rap it up button....
Katie got a job at hollister... SUPER fun bc now we get to work together....
Uhhhh lets see awhile back there was a sick sick sick party at jordens.... so cute
Which was bad ass to say the least...
Rob thankyou now for getting naked.....
Next tuesday I finish community service... YES!!!!!
Work is still bad ass....
I'm really starting to contemplate on cutting my hair... I mean its clearly way past the shoulders now, but it takes SO LONG to do anything with it, so i dunno... I really need to start tanning and then i guess i'll take it from there.... I want to go back blonde so as soon as i get paid, i think thats the first thing i'll do.... well other than the tanning thing... Anyhow, schools going ok... Dustin and i really arent... But O well, whats meant to be will be.....
I guess you can tell why, i'm kinda half assin' shit lately and its just obvious to everyone and there dog.... I care about dustin, but i dont think that we're meant to be..... bla bla bla, one ear out the other and then yes please brush it off your shoulder.... But i hate even talking about it soooooo, now that my head feels like its gonna explode i'm out....
o yes VOTE GEORGE BUSH....
and go see garden state for the LOVE OF GOD......
::

.:Anna blogged on 1:20 PM:.
...
::so i worked yesterday for the first time in awhile, as soon as i got there marcus and i just sat and talked in the back, too bad he's wow very good looking.... ok but seriously, on the reals Katie got a j o b!!! Where you may ask? Hollister... Damn straight!!!! So we'll get to work together all the time! super great.... And tonights FRIDAY and dustins familia are peacin out, (EVEN THO I LOVE HIS PARENTS) so :)!!! I think we're going to blow my old phone up... It should be exciting..... I went up to mijos last night mainly to see jordan, which i accomplished, but better not get myself into to big of a pickle... So i'll take those cards as they're given to me....
ANYWAYS i really need to do some laundry, get in the shower and go to school at 11.... OOO and lets not forget a couple hours at least of community service... ggggrrrreeeeeaaaat.... 13 hours left..... I dont have a clue why i'm up at 832 in the morning.... I think its because i've been waking up so early that its starting to become a habit kinda deal... so that kinda sucks.....
anyways everybody have a great day.
::

.:Anna blogged on 6:29 AM:.
...
::O i just love school, its 8 05 in the morning and im up, grrrreat.... SINCE i slept so good last night anyways..... Poor burrito, ames and i came in and he was soooo sick coughing and throwing up, i felt so bad for him.... Went up to Mijos last night with miss katie lynn and ames, jordan had this HUGE table and i was like wow that must suck... all those crazy singles.... (at mijos) (esp. after they all SWITCHED seats) but wasnt it cute getting to watch that little sashquatch handle his stress levels. I think i would have thrown food in peoples faces.... ok just a sidenote...

well i have school at 930! super.... then work... and then hopefully ill be able to chill bc i dont have class till 11 tomorrow.... ooo but lets not forget after that i'll prob have to do community service... damn
p.s. jordans cute, just called at 830 cute cute cute...
::

.:Anna blogged on 6:05 AM:.
...
::well last night was pretty crazy, might as well go ahead and admit that.... I've got school here at 1115 so i need to get myself together so i can make it to school. :/

Go see Garden State.....
::

.:Anna blogged on 10:20 AM:.

::jordan im thinking of you, im out at 420 am
::

.:Anna blogged on 2:20 AM:.
...
::So its Monday, cool i'm going to community service... Dustin was supposed to wake up this morning and take his test, (which i really hope he did) he didnt leave till 11 so im assuming he didnt go to bed till around 12 and he had to wake up pretty early... so if he didnt take the test he's pretty much (well its his OWN fault)
So school starts tomorrow, ames is basically taking every class with me EXCEPT for one, which in a way is cool because we can help each other, HOWEVER i just know if theres drama with me and amy its gonna bother me during class..... But at least ames is going to school... Did i mention i finally got my phone turned back on, HECK yes....
Ok so i'm sitting here typing on the computer and hurley who is fully capable of jumping off the bed and running over here is just crying and barking like his life is over.... so i WALK over to the bed grab him and now he's sleeping on my lap.... SPOILED. He's gotten SO BIG.... I saw some pictures just the other day of him when he was a little puppy and now hes almost as big as bam if not as big.... OR BIGGER. Honestly if he had longer legs i think he would be bigger than bam, but he's a wiener sooooo.......... So i really need to go out to wichita falls. Sal already went back and got her apartment so i need to go visit on the asap... Kristen called last night she moved to arlington... I believe she said shes living with her boyfriend dustins best friends girlfriend... (thats long) but shes happy so thats good.... Alright well i have alot alot alot to do today so im out....
::

.:Anna blogged on 8:06 AM:.
...
::How cute sam still reads my blog.......

Ok ok be serious...... Oooo in case you read again, I dont know how you came up with me flipping you off???? yeah i had it planned that sam was gonna drive by at that exact second, shit you caught me!!! I was literally waiting outside for her to drive by so i could flip her off and then i slam the door.... Secondly even if that was true if someones driving by do they have time to see all of that???? sounds like someone took it a step to far.... drama... BLAH BLAH BLAH... why can't everything just be fine, what its been a year and still its like, why all the hostility? Oooo i forgot its sam!!!!!
Anyways so last night the ole bf came by, we really didnt do anything, but had fun... I've been so busy with community service/ work/ trying to be with dustin, i hardly have time to just sit....
Ok well i'm going to go make some grilled cheese!!!! YES! I'm out....
oooo and sam no hard feelings... you're reply, what a bitch.....
::

.:Anna blogged on 9:03 AM:.
...
::so hmmmmmmmmmmm...... where to begin....
Ok well yesterday i think i saw sam driving which is crazy, (bc i hate how events get passed from mouth to mouth) but being that as it may dustin informed me that taylor kicked sam out of their apartment... ok? so i'm like alright (i mean what do you do with that kind of information) am i supposed to stick in my back pocket dustin? o well anyhow so he tells me that taylor took the car away bla blah bla and then YESTERDAY obviously this proves that word by mouth just doesnt quite work bc i'm almost 710% that yes in fact it was sam driving behind me, obviously i couldnt look bc i was driving but katie turned around and was like thats sam and i want my fucking puma jacket, pull the car over.... funny... ( i dont think so) anyways as we arrive to katies i turn around completely random, who do i see drive by????? oooo how convienent a car that looks exactly like the one i just saw her in.... i think it would have been more grrr if i hadnt gotten drunk last week and out of the blue decide to text message her and be like ooo hey sam whats up..... It just proves that drinking doesnt get you anywhere....
so i guess that was a good place to start... Ames car is compeletly messed up, "i accidently almost hit a cat" o well.... i think she should have just hit the cat... OR i mean you know cats are so freaking fast anyways it prob would have completely dogged the car and peaced out like it was nothing....
So dustin used the "L" word... Cute i would say, he's sweet. Mikey sent me a text message the other day saying why dont you stick that knife into my heart a little harder or something like that.... WELL ok mikey whatev.... Dustin came over last night and we just hung out and cuddled with the weiner... Tonight is wednesday and i think katies wanting to go out to arlington, dont know how i feel about that one, but we'll see.... I mean if we're going out there friday anyways i dont know that i want to get all out of control tonight.....
alright well im gonna get ready for community service... I'm out like a fat trout......
::

.:Anna blogged on 8:25 AM:.
...
::Check this out


www.resetmusic.com
Thanks bob for once again giving me something to smile about!
personally i say listen to the Beatles / Slick Rick Mix----->Mother Natures Rick.... :)!!!
::

.:Anna blogged on 7:31 AM:.

::so finally started working... I really dont know about the girls at hollister, most are really sweet... Some just kind of look at me like ummmm you're new... All the guys are super rad so thats all great. And honestly i really really really like my job. And its cool because now my closets full of hollister clothing.... RAD.....
So i sal and i went and partied at dustins on saturday after i got off work, i think she felt kinda wierd considering michaels new gf wouldnt shut up.... O well.... So then that same night after sal left and michael left (who didnt say bye bc he's still mad about me being mean to his gf) HOWEVER in defense sal, cody, bobby, dustin and I were all upstairs sitting outside on the patio when this girl practically runs up the stairs and is like dustin make me a drink.... Me and sal are like did you forget how to say PLEASE? so nothing was really said other than the fact that i made a comment to michael, "you're girlfriend is really demanding...." ok well whatever michael get over it please....
So i finally got my phone fixed..... GRRR so my old phone goes out of control then i lost it (i guess) at dustins uncle..... So then the phone mikey bought me went into the washer... Well i babysat jennys kids on wednesday night bc she got a boob job and a tummy tuck, well they get back the next day and they gave me a 100, so i went got my phone fixed and then did some shopping at where HOLLISTER.... excellent....
Anyways soooooooooooooooo, saturday sean and micah came up to see me :), ooo and so did mikey and brock... :I oooo well anyways.... SO i need to go do some community service... and then school starts i think next week :O..................
Holy canolie i need to get my books on the asap.....
I'm in a pickle jar.... in case anyone was wondering....


::

.:Anna blogged on 6:59 AM:.
...
::AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i have a JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It would be a lie if i said hey guys I'm not excited.... Cody got to explain all the stuff today which is sooooo super cool bc we kidded around the whole time.... Dustin was supposed to go up the the mall today and meet me up there but didnt go to sleep until 1030 THIS MORNING... real cool dustin... GRRRR.... So i guess dustin and i technically talking/together..... I left mikey a message saying although everything you do you mean well it's not ok to buy things (like trying to buy love) dustins like a breath of fresh air, and he so sweet.... However during all this possible dustin anna stuff.... I just dont want to take mikeys ring off.... WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?! AND with all that i just LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE being around cody.... Today when he was explaining everyhting to the other ppl who got hired he was just drawing on my foot.... I dont know....
So tomorrow i'm gonna go up to grace and get my hours figured out so i can work around those hours... Also tomorrow night i have to go up to southlake towncenter to do jury duty... GRRRR... And also i need to go up to hollister to buy a few things, considering with all honesty i dont wear alot of hollister clothing..... So blah blah blah merry christmas....
Burrito just got into the bath tub... Beat me to it! Shucks... Ok i'm out like a fat trout.... Happy Sunday
::

.:Anna blogged on 1:52 PM:.
...
::So i'm confused......
1. i finished the Davinci Code.... Sick book, PLEASE READ
2. Mikey bought me a video camera phone and (i'd had it less than 1 day) and it went for a dip in the washer..... That kinda pissed me off....
3. Katies birthday was yesterday, she's 20!
4. I got a job at Hollister and i start tomorrow... However i really dont shop at hollister alot, SO....
5. Mikeys killing me, he buys stuff, i feel like i have to accept it, then he freaks out and goes all nuts.
6. I went to Dustin's last night and had an awesome time..... (I love his parents)
7. Random bit of info, One of Dustins moms friends works out with laura clancy.... (small world)
8. I'm kinda nervous about the whole job thing...
9. I really wish Hurley would learn to use the bathroom, because its annoying us all.....
10. I wish i had a phone that WORKS
11. I have to wake up early tomorrow, ugh....
12. Theres too many of my parents friends over, and its making me sick....
13. Ames went to work so now i'm here wanting to choke myself....
14. Katie comes home next thursday, well leaves wednesday but gets her thursday... I'm STOKED.....
15. I think i want to go back to sleep and it's 8:11...
16. I need to do community service, RIGHT MEOW....
(ends at september 13th) ugh....
17. I love when my sheets get out of the dryer bc they smell really good.....
i'm out

::

.:Anna blogged on 6:06 PM:.
...
::So dustin and I got back from Mexico on thursday!!!! Had an awesome awesome awesome time..... Dustin and I left on Sunday had a layover in Miami and got to Mexico by around 1... First things first, dustin gets two coronas we all load into this MASSIVE van and then leave for the hotel... Playa is about 45 minutes out of Cancun so we were in that van for awhile.... When we finally got to the hotel it was GORGEOUS.... So very tropical... (Had a very good time on the beach) ;)The only thing that super sucked was the Humidity.... Not cool.... Speaking of the trip, Dustin just called and saw he got two of the cameras developed today... Said the pictures are super super good... :)!!!!!! So he's gonna come over tomorrow after his test.... Cant' wait to see them....
When i got home Hurley was very excited to see me!!!! As soon as i walked into the door hurley ran up to me just crying and rolling around.... (I missed him alot) Mum Mum said that he would run into my room and just sulk and be depressed.....
So I'm reading the Davinci Code right now, AWESOME book..... I recommend it to anyone... Seriously if you're looking for a good book, read it.... Honestly religion, theres soooo much to it, do all you can to read into it....
So ames bj and Mikey all went on a cruising yacht today, yuch.... whatever.... I just dont really know how i feel about mikey. Everything was fine before i left and then i got back he got all pyscho and now i'm like... ugggh? And i never thought in a million years in the first place dustin and i would be where we are right now but it's not like i didnt suspect what happened wasnt going too... SO i dont know... I just know i'm sick of feeling upset all the time again... And i know when i'm at dustins i dont feel like that...
So Mikey recently rebought me a watch from fossil that i already had so i took it back and bought two pair of really cute pants and a hat.... Walked over to hollister and cody was working and asked if i watned a job, there or abercrombie... EITHER OR IS FINE, just get me a job kiddo.... And to top all that, that kid has gotten so cute it's rediculous... I'm serious as soon as i saw him i was like wow those teeth, he's grown up, so cute!
So miss whitakens birthday is Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SWEEEEEEEET! I'm so proud of the news babe.... But seriously she comes home not this week but next thursday!!!!! AAAAAAH!!! I"m so excited.... Wonder if all the talk heather ever did about going ever went? Still going to school, wonder wonder wonder.....
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO anyways hope everybody's been welll... I'm out to go read that or get into the bath tub!
Sal i can't wait to see YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE MY NEW YORKER!!!!





::

.:Anna blogged on 7:02 PM:.
...
::So Heck Yes.....
So last night, quite a night shall is say... I'm so super stoked that finally i got to see Omus'..... And britney and bbb-what. Met a cool black guy named Ken.... The only thing i couldn't understand was why nobody had heard of NAPOLEAN DYNAMITE..... There was this one white guy that was like would it be cool if i got a diamond ring to match my diamond watch.... And im like ummm if you do that you're going to look like a douche bag i'm sorry... I mean he seemed cool i was just being honest.... Here's the condradiction, (did i spell that right?) bc on one hand he could be doing it bc it's his style and his thing... HOWEVER lets be honest who really does do that? Diamond rings, 1 at that and tries to pull it off i dont think so....
Anyways today's the last day before dustin and i leave for mexico..... GGGGgggRRREat.... Totally stoked, i guess... The thing is my neighbor jenny was like if you get any water in your mouth you're going to die of stomach illnesses... And i really don't want that! So it's bottled water and sun tan lotion here guys.... I might have overpacked bc i have actually two bags fully packed... (shoes, clothes, but NO HEATHER BROWN SHIRT) hahahhahahahhahahahha
Ok seriously.... So my weiner has offically made me upset... The dog wont stop crapping on the floor... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, you're 5 months old and i know you know GRASS MEANS CRAP.... ggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.............
So Ames birthday is coming up... And i don't get to be here for it :( i really do love you ames... And you're gonna be 22 thats practically a grandma..... Don't worry you still have a couple more years on ya..... I love you sweetheart and i'll be thinking of you on you're birthday! (while im in mexico laying on the beach with a fat strawberry margarita....) (with no water......) I know i don't want to get sick.... Anyhooskers, it was really cool seein everybody last night over at omus' place of stay.... i was thankful in my own true self somewhere that heather wasnt there... that wouldnt have made me a very happy camper at the campsite... Anyways.... its gold trousers shorts for me kids... Love all of you in case i dont make it through the water incident in mexico... Until i see or blog again... Over and out, and im out like a fat trout.....
::

.:Anna blogged on 10:13 AM:.
...
::So once again.... (Haven't blogged in awhile) lets see where to begin... OOO yes, how about last weekend.... Michael, Bobby, Dustin & I went out to Dustin's lake house for the weekend and had an absolutly awesome time... I think we all got a little too crazy (if thats possible) on sunday night because we all woke up with bruises, (bobby vs. michael) (anna vs. bobby)/ burns and mosquito bites... O and lets not forget how bobby and i went all ninja kill the wasp nest at 2 in the morning... WOOOOOOah... Anyways last weekend was dynamite... (as stoney would say)
MOOOOOVING along.... So if you haven't seen anchorman or Napolean Dynamite GO SEE IT.... On a Personal note i enjoyed Napolean Dynamite more but agree to disagree they're both really funny....
So i'm getting more and more excited because sunday is approaching rapidly... Saturday finally they're having big mikes funeral so i'm gonna go, which means i have to get everything together tomorrow i guess cause saturday is gonna be to much of a bummer to do very much... At SOME POINT i have to make it out to dustins  (on saturday obviously) because our flight leaves super early in the morning... SO  by sunday afternoon i'll be on the beach passed out sleeping... CAN'T WAIT...
SOOOOOOOOOOOOO heather called last week bitching about some brown shirt... BLAH  BLAH BLAH BLAH... I mean the first time she called asking if i wanted to go to bahama breeze was cool for ummm about 10 seconds... until i realized what are you thinking  & Also i was in mineral wells rock climbing and lets not forget would i ummm no thanks.... So then the second call..... (the next day) So i was being cool because im thinking shes gonna be like go ahead and bring the stuff over whenev.... bla bla bla... NOPE, she calls BITCHING about a shirt i dont even have, then starts bullshiting about katie da da da da da.. in one ear & out the other... I FORGOT WHY I STOPPED PICKING UP MY PHONE WHEN SHE CALLED..... So i figure i have two of her bathing suit tops that i wouldnt mind getting rid of, i dont have the brown shirt (SO HEATHER IF YOU READ THIS go ahead sweetie buy a new one) and if its the one i think it is good try trying to find it since it came out a couple years ago.... All i really want from that girl is my  two independent sweatshirts because i know they dont fit her, and MY WILL FERRELL dvd... GGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.....
I can't wait till sunday... Lay out on the beach, have a drink with dustin and tan.... STRESS RELIEF.....
I'm out like a fat trout..... 

::

.:Anna blogged on 2:45 PM:.
...
::Well it's Thursday, I think? Yes Thursday, GREAT.... I went rock climbing yesterday in Mineral Wells, Rock on... I love love love love love rock climbing but it was so damn hot and it smelled like rotton fish.... (i think that's because of the trash cans that the public enemy forgets to empty) Good times...
I decided yesterday that i would really enjoy being a reef rep. so at any given moment i would enjoy that j o b.... Great....
Heather called yesterday to see if i wanted to go to bahama breeze... But unfortunatly i was in MINERAL WELLS, too bad. However things sometimes dont work out and still i need to give her back that "american flag" bikini top and that white one too.... So at some point i need to get my ass together and go give her that stuff.... On a likely note heather has two of my independent sweaters and a really cute shirt that ties in the back, but i dont know that shes planning on giving me my stuff... Really honestly didn't get a chance to talk about it but i don't see why not...
My weiner's gone crazy to say the least that bastard keeps running around like a chicken with his head cut off...
SCOTCH SCOTCH SCOTCH.... I LOVE SCOTCH....
Anchorman was really funny. I most def. enjoyed that movie. Even though the whole time ames and bj were drinking what SCOTCH! Ames is like anna try some of this and i'm like ok why, ames is like it's coke just taste it.... (?) so i try it and WOW i was very suprised that it was not coke at all.... SCOTCH SCOTCH SCOTCH......
Anyways i would recommend it to everyone... congrats...
So i put some pictures on the computer.. OOPs i mean amy helped me put pictures up... I'm a computer dummy sometimes...
I wish for the life of me that BAM would give us all a good shut the hell up before he gets SUCKERPUNCHED! OOOOO yeah after the movie last night ames bg mikey and i strolled up to red robin (however we didn't make it inside) anyways i thought i saw t voskamps car there, and i just felt sad because i really miss that kid... Then i hear that ring in my head, "EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON" which brings me to my next subject...
THEY FOUND THE BASTARD that killed mike.... O WAIT i mean they know who did it... The sons of bitches police department knows who did it but now they're "waiting" for the asshole to turn himself in... OOOOO wait cj (big mikes bro is missing now too) great grand wonderful... Sal said sheas a mess... (miss you momma shea)
ANYHOW Mike & c.j's parents still can't get into the U.S because they're so high up in nigeria and the U.S just can't seem to let them come over... COME ON GUYS IT'S ONE BIG TEA PARTY FOR A FUNERAL.... I HATE THE U.S sometimes....
OOOO WAIT last night i as i said i really enjoyed anchorman, at the end the dummy retard ends up working for the bush administration... And i should have kept my mouth shut but i LOVE president BUSH, and i just decided to tell everyone in the theatre i'm PRO bush. John Kerry can suck a fat viva gordita for all i care.... GGGGGGRRRR... B.J was giving me a hard time about Red Robin saying there was a convention at R.R and i should prob go just for that reason.. Hey if you don't like president bush, eat a dick or I'll eat you're face..... OFF....
Anyways i was very angry last night about the asshole murderer and the movie comment about bush but then i finally came home to my weiner and felt 80 times better. GREAT EXCELLENT....
Anyways (this is very random) but we found out yesterday that kate's friend allison is adopted and her adopted parents made her convert to jewishness, which is wierd because she should be able to make the decision for herself but whatever.. I guess that she really enjoyes the jewish camp she attends, so excellent..... Kate said she attended the camp yesterday to say farewell to allison for the summer and she got a FREE LUNCH! Great feed the normal white kids.... Just kidding to all the jewish people out there... WE really do love YOU! You're special in you're own way... Except for the fact that mikeys ancestors hate YOU and they all want you to die, RIGHT NOW! In case any one was wondering mikey's family were all nazi's.... We all know it!
So farewell for now it's time to go drive my mom crazy like i do EVERYDay well until dad comes home and yells at me for doing nothing with my life!
GREAT that's the second time Hurley got yelled at for eating pencil lead.... What a asshole weiner... Ok so seriously guys lay out time... Merry christmas...
I love carpet, i mean i love lamp... seriously..... over and out..::

.:Anna blogged on 11:05 AM:.

::
hurley


me


and again::

.:Anna blogged on 10:56 AM:.
...
::

ames and i on the boat



me::

.:Anna blogged on 12:47 PM:.

::I was just looking on Bob's Blog, and i really really really enjoyed the picture of Bob in the basketball net, I MEAN REALLY ENJOYED The picture... Good times...::

.:Anna blogged on 10:32 AM:.

::Good, Bad, In between news, THEY FOUND THE CAR that had a run in with Mikes car but they found it burnt up with No Gold rims or liscence plate. Supp. the police "know" who did it but their waiting for THEM to come foward... BLAH BLAH BLAH whatever i hope so.... The cool thing is theres a $10,000 reward now for anyone who knows anything about the guys car....
I had a bunch of really wierd dreams last night, and i hate when that happens because i always wake up feeling wierd about stuff. I mean my dreams are SUPER realistic, last night it was so real i could have sworn on 50 fish that i had really moved and lived somewhere else.... WIERD...
And in conclusion i really want to go rock climbing today, that would make my day so lets cross our fingers that, that works out....
PRAY for the EROKWU'S.... (his family's last name is nigerian)
im outtttt::

.:Anna blogged on 10:24 AM:.
...
::12 offical more days till CANCUN!!!!!!!!
Ok so that's exciting, not so exciting is that the funeral is coming up and that sucks sucks sucks... Sal's gonna fly down sometime soon and we're gonna go to big mikes funeral...
BY THE WAY,
http://www.timesrecordnews.com/trn/local_news/article/0,1891,TRN_5784_3029165,00.html
For anyone that wants to read about it. Also you're gonna have to copy and paste that to read.
So yesterday ames, bj, gusstauph, mikey and i went out on the boat. Thereafter we ventured to some crazy steak place where you threw you're peanuts everywhere... I just had fun throwing peanuts at amy....
I need to call miss whitakens today, i havent called or picked up just bc i havent wanted to tell her about big mike....
ALSO maggiemayberry i understand you're going through a bit of a hard time, just remember god doesn't give us anything we can't handle... And that if this isn't it there's something 10 times better!
Love you all...
::

.:Anna blogged on 9:25 AM:.
...
::So i was swimming in the pool, mum and jenny were talking and i hear sal's ringer. Well considering i was wet i was like ill call her as soon as i get out... So since sal and i still keep in touch (being that she lives in NY) and with all honesty we do talk quite a bit i was like ok ill call her right back... Normally we're all pepp'd to talk to each other but all i can hear is sally sounding really bummed out, well it turns out big mike was shot last night in dallas... Big mike and cj were like brothers to sal and i so it really sucks to hear all this... I know people reading this have no clue who this kid is being that he went to midwestern st. but pray for the fam.... Everything happens for a reason... ;(
7/10/04* RIP ::

.:Anna blogged on 2:46 PM:.
...
::So I woke up kinda late today blllllaaaaaaaaaaa.... I so so so so so wanted to hang with sean today but that didn't work out because i started cleaning the inside and outside of my car... it tooke me until about 430, then i sat for a little bit, ate and then he was going to kmk.... WHICH I MUST ADD IM NOT... bummmmmmer....
So i just talked to amy brown online and im sooo happy because i havent talked to her in soooooooo LONG! SO glad to hear from her!!!!
Well hate to end the conversation so short but i must go see if freeman is gonna start! Peace & LOVE
::

.:Anna blogged on 4:47 PM:.
...
::SO alot happened last night, personally i really don't want to talk about it... But for all girls who may read this don't get with in 5 ft of Daniel the manager at mijos... I wouldn't want you cornered into something you def. didn't want to do....
This sucks because i have absolutly nothing to write about. I'm fucking pissed that grown FUCKING man thinks that he can just do whatever the fuck he wants. I'm so grossed out.
So Mikey brought me a cancun survival kit for me yesterday... I'm looking at this box and i'm like well what's this... INSIDE THE BOX INCLUDES.... (keep in mind he's already bought me a jim morrison billabong bathing suit and reef flip flops)
inside this box is ANOTHER CUTE billabong bathing suit, a billabong surf shit thing, new reef flip flops and a pair of SPY sunglasses... And let us not forget sun tan lotion and sun tan lotion with spf so i won't burn... I was like uhhhhhhh.... thanks
I mean it's random because he's well aware that i'm going to cancun with dustin and me and mikey aren't together so???? I mean i was like mikey i couldn't accept all this, really. And he just gave me the look like anna be serious i bought it for you... SO anyways cute stuff... The swimsuits on the blog along with the weiner... ISN'T HE GETTING SOOOO BIG!!!!?
Alright well Burrito left for New York today and Mum and Kate are shopping so i think im gonna go clean my room....
SPEAKING OF NEW YORK, I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU SAL!!! You're a jerk for being at yankee stadium as we speak! Love you babe...
Everyone have a wonderful day!
::

.:Anna blogged on 11:53 AM:.
...
::
i love my weiner and i love to stroke him all night long.
::

.:Anna blogged on 7:02 PM:.

::Well the 4th came and went and what a extravaganza that one was.... First off I strolled by Bj's so i could see good ole stoney but when we got there, there was this awful crew of people i hadn't ever seen over there before... It ranged from girls that looked like they'd been best friends with crack to asshole rednecks to overweight football nazis... So i quickly but nicely said my hello's and then goodbye's... I finally got to Dustin's around 7 or 8 which i was to the extreme excited about (Since bj's went down the drain) I got to meet his grandma and some of his parents really close friends, which was really nice. Curtis (one of his dad's good friends) scared the absolute shit out me from telling me all kinds of ghost stories.... And officially by the end of the night i couldn't sleep and DIDNT until about 530 in THE MORNING! Well that's also because dustin kept me AWAKE until about 3 and then I REALLY Couldnt sleep so i went on mission im water deprived ---->(and i end up with a coke) I SHOULD have gone to find some sort of liquor to put me to sleep but at the time, that didn't really come to mind... Soooo after all that i STILL couldn't sleep so i ended up going into the other bedroom upstairs to watch a movie--->which kept me UP UNTIL 530... GREEEEAT... So finally at 11 i go back to dustins room to crash back out.... (or think im going to accomplish that) WELL SWEET OLD DUSTIN got some good sleep so he's kinda already awake and THATS JUST GREAT BECAUSE i get to stay awake too... Anyhow we both woke up watched anger management and then i went home to chill at the casa... OF COURSE as soon as i get home burrito has something to BITCH at me for, AS ALWAYS... i swear my parents bitch at me more than anyone else... Amy has a job so she does whatever the hell she wants to and my mom NEVER EVER makes kate do anything so who's left to do everything ELSE? ME ME ME ME ME ME ME!!!!! GREAT... So more than antyhing else now i need to go get a fucking job so i can exempt myself from doign things around HERE!
Kate and i just made a shirt for Hurley and he looks sooo sooo sooo cute, only im sure it's only a matter of time before mum takes it off just because "he doesnt' like it" LIKE THE DOG GIVES A SHIT... Anyhow today's tuesday I'm gonna go clean my room eat some lunch and then hopefully get the hell out of here... DID I MENTION lay out, need to keep that one up for CANCUN!!!!!!
Alright everyone have a wonderful wonderful day... Im out like a fat trout...peace::

.:Anna blogged on 10:07 AM:.
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::my bum bums wet from my swim suit so im not gonna sit here a real long time... (ACTUALLY i should so when kate comes to sit down her ass will be ALL WET TOO!!!!) what a prankster i am... So ames found that picture of my eyes on bobs blog... BOB IF you're out there I MISS YOU TONS & TONS... I believe after a few beer bongs the other day ames and i tried calling....
ANYHOW ames just brought a good point that stoney and i need to have a little discussion 1 2 1 2.....
Ok so like i said im not gonna sit here real long, the seats already wet enough to soak kates bum... Im out like a fat trout... Happy 4th of July::

.:Anna blogged on 11:09 AM:.

::HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!::

.:Anna blogged on 8:19 AM:.
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::Well tomorrow's July 4th!!! I love love love love love love LOVE LOVE LOVE fireworks... I don't know about everyone else but fireworks are fun to watch and esp. to SET OFF!!!! So I hope everyone has a safe and fun holiday!!!!!
Anyways so I went to dustin's last night to see him and michael... I guess they had alot of fun in the bahamas... (swimming with the dolphins) ;) they would... I talked to a certain someone yesterday which really sucked because i just hate conversation like that... Sometimes you just have to reach a point when you have to move on. anyhow
I talked to K whitakens last night, I MISS HER so much... I'm soooo super proud of her for moving to hawaii... It sounds like her and jared are doing GREAT. Im downstairs in my parents room right now and i just went to look and the television and my cute cute cute wiener just ran into the room. Hurley's getting sooo super big and he's still only 4 months... Honestly i wouldn't be suprised if the dash HOUND weighed more than Bam.... I keep telling mum mum and burrito to give bear away because he's turned into a grumpy old man, but no such luck...
So i think im gonna have to go lay out so adios amigos...
Happy July 4th as of tomorrow...
PARTY PARTY PARTY TOMORROW EVENING!!!!!!
i love mum mums oatmeal cookies!!!::

.:Anna blogged on 11:53 AM:.
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::CONNIE got a LITTLE too drunk last night.... MEMO.
Seriously though guys I'm starting to see more and more people come on up to mijos for karaoke night. GREAT... Tell me this HOW in the world does a chinese woman come to own a MEXICAN RESTARAUNT? ANYWAYS.... Ames just informed me that they had to CARRY CONNIE to her car, drive her home AND THEN PUT HER TO BED!
SO lets see i always take way to long to blog... Katie left for HAWAII!!! FOR A LONG ASS TIME TOO.... (party on with chance) But its all cool because dustin invited me to go to cancun with him so officially now i should probably get a j O b.... Mikey and i have kinda started talking again... (AS FRIENDS) but he's really nice so its all good.... I went to Seans last night, well mijos and seans... and then mijos again.... but still... I've always loved how funny sean is, sooooo good times... Im in a pickle.... To say the least. I quit kinda talking to Wes cause i didn't feel like we were having any type of quality conversation except with the fact of him saying YOU want to smoke?.... Well as good as a conversation of the 4 words could and can be i decided to stop that whole thing.... My feelings honestly are Mikey screwed with my head so i'm scared to be in a relationship with ANYONE... I just dont want to have to talk to someone all the time about what i'm doing, where i'm going OR when i'm gonna be back... EVER AGAIN thanks....Anyhow i really wanted to lay out today but it doesn't look like it's gonna get sunny so I guess it's laying around the house today Once AGAIN.... over and out....
DUSTIN GETS HOME TODAY FROM THE BAHAMAS.... :)!!!!!!!
::

.:Anna blogged on 9:47 AM:.
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::sooooooooooooo been awhile.... I GUESS SOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
So week long party at mi casa? Holy canolie dude..... I'm sitting here staring at this computer like woah nelly what ARE YOU DOING?! Party all the time guys and that means, NOT trying to type while you've been partying.... ANYWAYS though, Miss Katy and Heather are doubling it up in the shower so i decided i have some time to spare... So broke up with Mikey did i mention that? Can't remember... One of the most rediculous relationships i've ever been in mostly cause NO GUY is gonna tell MISS PETERS what to do... This week was wicked chill, had a good time.... I think my party pants have been on for ummmm 3 months straight, time to give it a Slllloooooow motion for meeeeee..... Blogs blogs blogs where o where have you been?
and now i have come to a "writers block" o shit.... natty light gets you're mind thinking about other things... Got to talk with miss ernst last night, dude i love that chick and she's been gone for way to long... ODE to old friends that you get to talk to after a looooong time... DID i mention i saw tyler sharp and his hot dreads today?.... I swear his hottness just keeps getting better and better and OOOO better than the better i said before.... Mum mum and burrito are arriving home tonight, they've been gone for quite awhile...... I've got to say i miss them even though they're pissed cause we through some parties.. Personally i would say no biggie, except for the fact jenny (the next door neighbor) came over and found a bunch of people sleeping in random places....Anyways party all the time, 80's style... I love all of you and those i havent seen in a long time a sweet shout out to you... Everyone have a lovely day and MERRY christmas, santa loves you!::

.:Anna blogged on 8:26 PM:.
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::WOW guys BEEN a LONG time, No? When i say alot has happened i mean TONS.... SO the update is my grandma harris died, I went back to indiana and mikey followed. He drove all night to come be with me in i.n. (pretty sweet) I'll get back to that later... So my sweet ginnie died as well (a couple of days ago)... Very hard to have a pet die, I'm steal dealing with it... Heather left for florida today, i took her and her mom to the airport.... dear lord i love that girl... 420 was awesome, went and partied over at omus', always a pleasure... So school's good, glad to be getting shit accomplished while having a bit of fun... Mikey and I aren't doing so well... First and foremost everyone who knows me knows i'm all about me being me... he wants me to quit everything and mold me into this completely different girl. It's really hard to breakup with someone you really thought you cared about... Not to mention this kid buys me flowers about once a week, just all kinds of cute shit that i dont even ask for... ok blah blah blah... THe point is its all materialistic... All he does is get mad at me ALL The time... O you smoked a cig the WORLD is over... I'm all about looking at this one life and having a good time, i don't need to be with someone who acts like a parent... I'm no where near ready to be serious to the point that i can't hang out with my friends... So i don't know time tells and whats meant to be Will sooo no worries right? SO still no job, although i have looked... applied a few 1 places... So yep, lets go ahead and give amy the thankyou for fixing the blog... I'm out but ill be back... ::

.:Anna blogged on 4:59 PM:.
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::well it's saturday... and im competely tired..... I would go to sleep but im going through some mikey withdrawels.... Speaking of withdrawels, lets talk about heather being gone one day and im already a basketcase.... My smoke buddy is gone.... :( However i know shes having an awesome time in Hawaii!!!!
So Mikey went out with one of his friends tonight, which sucks because mum mum and burrito went out and i just want to cuddle with him.... I guess if i had left roanake earlier i would have gone, but i really wanted to chill with sal. I've basically figured that i could be with him for the rest of my life and be happy... We're so happy when we're together... Speaking i forgot to mention mikey and i went to san marcus last weekend for a little wakeboarding expedition.... I honestly dont know how he rode with the freezing water and the wind, but he did...
Being bored sucks, i havent sat at my house in sooooooooo Long.... AHHHH living at home.... NOW THATS SOMETHING THAT SUCKS... Esp. lately, mum mum fights with me ALLLLLL THE TIME.... i'm not going to lie when i say im ready to MOVE out.... I still don't have a job and mikey was talking about moving out but he wants to get a house and what ever happened to apartments? Plus i wouldnt want to move away from heather.... And lets not forget that i still go to TCC and he goes to UNT.... (so where do you find the medium)
Last night i got kinda sick and mikey got me medicene and aleve and put me to sleep and just layed there with me (even though he wasnt tired) which was soooo super sweet.... Then i woke up this morning to gorgeous flowers next to my bed... I love that he buys me flowers all the time, it really makes me feel sooo special... He's the perfect boyfriend and each day things get better and better and better......
So brittany informed me that sams getting a boob job, i really didnt want to know anything about that girl, even thinking about her makes me sick to my stomach. So i guess sams still mooching off that family. Its sick. We all knew i guess now everybody just keeps it to themselves... Not to mention sam could you have cheated on taylor anymore? it really grosses me out....
So schools going good.... Talking to sal this week really made me miss wichita falls... She said chuck went to jail... funny. I havent decided what im going to do next semester with school. Stay here, Midwestern, Unt with mikey or what... I know no matter what sooner of later i've got to get out of this house and get a job.....
So im hungry so i think im gonna go munch....

p.l.u.r::

.:Anna blogged on 5:51 PM:.
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::Well yesterday was Linkin Park, I must say it was quite a show.... I know Kate had an awesome time sitting 15 feet away from the stage! Anyways i haven't blogged in a long time.. I get caught up with school, chillin blah blah blah that i forget about the ole blog.... To be honest i'm not quite sure that 12:31 at night is the right time to be blogging in general but whatev..... Bottom Line-Im tired from last night....
I never said anything about Valenines Day but it was pretty awesome... Mikey brought over some flowers today, just randomly.... ( nice )
Really i don't have alot to say, i guess im kinda bored.....
Ames is dating a new guy, don't know what i really think about him... But i guess I just miss Derek... OVERALL though its not my decision who amy dates so o well.....
YEa good call on tomorrow already being wednesday..... OVER & out....::

.:Anna blogged on 10:35 PM:.
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::I can't wait for it to get warm outside...::

.:Anna blogged on 2:50 PM:.
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::I must say that I love going to Veronica's..... Ames and i went over there tonight and of course we got to talking about the Tour de France and i'm super stoked bc i can't wait to watch it.... Veronica comes out of her room with this yellow USPS shirt and I'm like woahhhh hold up there nelly..... I can't wait to see Lance Armstrong kick some major ass this summer.... YAHN's going DOWN!!!!!!!!!!! Anyways i can't sleep as always so im out like 80's clothing.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 11:46 PM:.

::ruff, just the way you're mother likes it.......
Im pissed cauuuuse my linkin park ticket was just given away to kates jewish friend, damn that sucks..... I'll give you some barmitzfaINYOURFACE!!!! My $34 ticket just got given away.... Seriously im pissed as hell.... And not to mention my house has been CRAZY today, the only good part was when i saw mikey at the boat show today..... If i didnt see him when i did i figured i would just die.... I'm crazy in love with him (hhahahah thats a song) but seriously i love him so much and when i dont see him for even hours it seems like days.... I never thought i would ever be this happy in a MILLION years but he's everything i could hope for..... Concluding the mikey conversation he's working until 10 again, WHICH SUCKS because i just want to be with him..... I started taking new meds and i feel like im on speed which probably isn't a good idea and furthermore i dont know what speed feels like but if its anything like this I DONT EVER WANT TO DO IT! Ames quit drinking, holy hell.... Her and Johnson decided to call it quits on the alcohol, MORE POWER TO YOU GUYS!!!! AND HOORAY because i quit smoking!!! IM SERIOUS guys, i really did it!!!!! I had a half today to just see if i liked it and I DIDNT.... Minus the fact that i just tried to have one.... I guess i really can't say that i completely quit bc i can guarantee you that when i drink im prob gonna have a cig but ALL THATS BESIDES THE POINT...... Anyways i can't figure out if everything is good or bad because my medicene's all crazy but yea.... So heres a good ole blog for you guys reading this.... I know ive been douching out the blog lately and my sincere apologies....
I LOVE mikey!!!!!::

.:Anna blogged on 6:21 PM:.

::writers block....::

.:Anna blogged on 11:27 AM:.
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::so heather about that math class today?
So today's Monday, way to start of the week anna.... So my sister's friend Katy got engaged today, which is soooo super sweet!!! Her ring is soooooo cute.... I really don't know why i'm blogging because i really don't have alot to say (that could be from the chief session earlier) ANYHOW----> haven't blogged in awhile, thought i would....
So school again at 6 meet ya there......
I love mikey? yep....::

.:Anna blogged on 2:24 PM:.
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::mradamtoo: did you know that im going on a date with a girl named anna?
mradamtoo: shes in boulder this weekend
APeters03: NO WAY!
mradamtoo: yes way
APeters03: annas are the best!
mradamtoo: heh
APeters03: i can speak on a personal note
mradamtoo: i know me too
mradamtoo: they are the best!
APeters03: :-)
mradamtoo: #1!

mradamtoo: annas are my favorite
mradamtoo: :-)
mradamtoo: you!
APeters03: :-D you're too sweet!!!!!!!!


ADAM = FAVORITE 48!!!!!!! ::

.:Anna blogged on 3:16 PM:.

::So alots happened lately... Burrito came home early yesterday to find ames and i smokin a cig.... So i fessed up and to EVERYONES suprise, guess what I'M QUITTING.... Burrito & Mum Mum where pretty emotional and ames was just like well you guys knew i smoked blah blah.... The only problem is now that i've got it in my head that i'm quitting all i want is a cig.... So this is gonna be really hard and i'm trying to not promise anything, so far so good.... (i guess)
::

.:Anna blogged on 12:55 PM:.

::I'm in Love....::

.:Anna blogged on 1:52 AM:.
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::Well well well WELL, it's your ole pal anna here, and i haven't written in the blog in QUITE a long time, so basically i've got some catching up to do...... SOOOOO ok we'll start off with the lately's and later get into the general's..... Last night Hedge clip katzamillion, lasagna and i all went to i believe "christoph & oj's" Yes they too recieved good nicknames last night... We ended up playing a few drinking games (sidenote i was DRUNK of wine last night) which is odd because normally i prefer a good brew.... Anyhow lasagna and i left early because she had class today and i wanted to go see mikey... SPEAKING of mikey, we are still very very VERY VERY happy..... We went to the fort worth (is it the childrens museum) and played with all the exhibits.... We had an awesome time.... He's soooooo sooooo sooo wonderful and it's cool to have such a WONDERFUL boyfriend.....
So amy's fat party is tomorrow night (ive been tanning and im roasted) but my dress with look better if im tan so whatta ya do? Get a little red in the ultra bed and say the hell with it.... SPEAKING of AMY's PARTY TOMORROW.... how about some cristal yeah yeah what UP?! Ok ok no cristal but we're gonna be momomomoooosing it up..... and that does INVOLVE champagne.....
So i started school at tcc on tuesday, havent seen a whole lotta people yet but i hear a bunch of people are going there.... SO FOR ALL OF YOU i'm excited to see YOU guys WHEN i do see ya... with the exception of miss cefuckface....ok ok hahhaha just kidding.. Anyways i've got to get a tire checked out because i ran over my bahama breeze shot glass and i think my tire might be flat... or getting there... SO Im over and out.....
HEdGE CLiPz, BAtzmitzmAN, DANZASTANZA, JOOOOHNSON, KATZASMASMAZZIL, LASINGARONIE, -----> i ain't got nothin but LOVE for ya!!!!!!!!!! ::

.:Anna blogged on 12:36 PM:.
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::LINKIN PARK TICKETS WENT ON SALE TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok so sum more good news------> I FOUND MY COLDPLAY CD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and mother cita is making tacos for dinner.... So monday mikey came back in town..... At first i didnt' know if i really wanted to see him or not but then everything just kinda fell back into place... MONDAY night chris took me out on his bad ass bike!!!! IT was SOOOOOOO AWESOME!!!!!!! What a rush!!! The only downfall was that it was freezing and my sweater kept coming up so my stomach was frozen, o yeah and did i mention we got LOST for an HOUR AND A HALF?!!!! Yep..... Anyways im super stoked about linkin park, holy shit anyone who knows me knows i could just pee in my pants over going to see them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well i'm gonna go help mum mum make some FOOD....
IN REGARDS TO KATIE AND HEATHER get off the god damn shed!!!!!!!
::

.:Anna blogged on 3:03 PM:.
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::So last night heather and I got pretty excited about the fiasco last night.... Well smavishimo ends up coming with us to party, we get there and it was a total joke... On top of everything colby was a royal bitch as usual.... I guess the truth had to come out sooner or later... I'm sorry but my sister when she hangs around that girls becomes colbys twin demon friend... Heather katie and i were freezing outside and amy was gonna smoke a cig well we're like can we have the keys to your car, she practically throws them at my face... AND LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE DRIVE HOME, amy was driving like a complete maniac, so cool ames thanks for not only ruining my night but my friends too.... She just acted like a complete jerk, and thats not cool, because im not just "SOME FRIEND" that she can pull that shit on... I mean for heavens sake last night amy has one drink and is like anna i can't drive home... ARE YOU KIDDING ME..... SO AMY STARTS BITCHING BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO DRIVE.... not because i can't just because i don't want to.... so im like you know what you're not going to put two of my friends in harms way because you're an idiot so i DROVE HOME THE WHOLE WAY FROM VERONICA's..... KEEP IN MIND IM DOING AMY A FAVOR..... She's a bitch the whole way home and it just doesn't stop... I"M SO SICK OF driving amy's ass around because she's just drank too much... Seriously sometimes i think she invites me to hang with her because she knows if she just doesn't want to drive or wants to drink too much that all she has to do is say anna will you drive.... So anyhow amy drops katie, heather and myself back home get's out of her car and slams the door, sorry ames YOU KNEW YOU WOULD HAVE TO TAKE US HOME.... SHE THEN LATER SENDS ME A MESSAGE that says, anna im sooo much happier here at rocky's!! WHY AMY BECAUSE YOU GOT YOU"RE DAILY DOSE of alcholol into you're system??! I'm so emotional right now and it pisses me of because i live with this girl, and when im pissed theres NOTHING I CAN DO BUT NOW SHES IN THE NEXT DOOR OVER..... UGHHHHHHHHHH...... ITS TIME FOR A BREAK i can't deal with this shit.....
ON A BETTER NOTE MIKEY COMES HOME TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm SO EXCITED!!!!!
And sal's gonna be representing in gvine tonight!!!! YEAH YEAH SAL!!!! ::

.:Anna blogged on 11:11 AM:.
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::Well havent blogged in awhile, probably because my computer gets viruses every other day! But seriously sooo Mikey went out of town AGAIN yesterday to go do what you might ask, SNOWBOARDING.... O second time in less than a MONTH!!! ooo and not next weekend but the weekend after what's he doing?! SNOWBOARDING.... Honestly i'm really not bitching because i know he's having a grrreat time and if he's happy i'm happy.... So last night Heather and I went to Mikes show, i got to see kyleen lauren and lauren (whom i haven't seen in a long time) It was really cool seeing them again....
So tonight is the GRINGO skate party!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH YEAH WHAT UP SON!!!!!!!! Tons of pro skateboarders i'll take that one on a SILVER PLATTER thanks..... Amy also informed me that we're going to her work fiasco at the Mandalea?----> is that how you spell it? AnYwayS something like that on the 24th... We get to dress up in formal dresses and run around getting crazy drunk and then pass out in a suite... TURD FURGUSON and i will be representing amy on that occasion... LETS SEE heather and i in formal dress'.... SERIOUS ADVENTURAGE.....
RANDOM INFORMATION!!!--->OOOO what's the BEST holiday that's coming up?! VALENTINES DAY!!!!!!!!! ok ok so its not until next month BUT STILL!!!!!!
So i was just talking to my good pal FAVORITE 48hrs adam neese and he's leaving tomorrow!!! I'm sooo sad...... ADAM YOU'LL always be the fav 48..... Ooo and another cool kid i must give props out to is good ole erik smith, i got a chance to talk to him the other day and I'll always have mad love for erik!!!! Glad to hear that him and rachel are still doing good!!! ;)
Ok well mother peters is raging so im gonna clean my room again.....
AND AMY AND JOHNSON----> I will not be reduced to ROBIN... BATMAN FOREVER, ya heard..... Ov & Out!!!!!!!!
::

.:Anna blogged on 1:48 PM:.
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::Can we start off with i may be one of the MOST stupid people.... First and foremost what the HELL was i thinking possibly not wanting to be with Mikey.... Last night i almost ruined one of the best things that has happened to me and now i just want to smack myself for being so dumb about it. Last night we had so much fun just being together blah blah blah and then we started talking abotu the summer when he won't be here all that much... At first i was like it doesn't really matter because if we care about each other we'll get through everything, then i was like what the hell i'm not gonna like that i won't see him very often... So i end up leaving in a fuss and i have no clue what he was thinking.... But i got home and realized if i give up mikey i'm a complete ID-10-T (sidenote: you like that one right amy) So after i've called him from my cell phone and my house no answer i'm like shit... So he calls the house and i'm like MIKEY!!!!! thankyou GOD! I explain myself blah blah blah and he's like dont be sorry, whatev... MORAL OF THIS STORY i can be such a idiot with relationships.... I dont' know i've cared about a few people where i really let my heart get involved but with mikey its different... I'm happy when i'm with the kid and what i need to do is concentrate more on being happy with HIM then being upset with the what if's... Time gives answers to everything.....
::

.:Anna blogged on 8:35 AM:.
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::IM CRAZY ABOUT MIKEY GROSSE........... glad we got that under control.............::

.:Anna blogged on 10:00 PM:.
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::So all day today i cleaned my room.... Since i moved home from wichita falls i still haven't gotten the room quite the way i wanted it.... So today i spent all day re-arranging all of it..... So this evening kate and i colored some poster board and stuff like that.... AND now we're watching Pirates of the Caribbean.... (One of my personal favorites aside the best of Will ferrell.....)
Anyways Amy and Mikey come home tomorrow!!!!! FINALLY..... Heather and katie aren't coming home until Tuesday, total bummer but i'll be more than excited to see them when they finally come home....
So tomorrow i've got to get my sweet ass up to tcc to finish registering for classes..... I'm def. not looking foward to that.... I've been getting headaches EVERY single day.... UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH..... I seriously swallow about 6 tylenol a day.... My mom thinks it's allergies and stress... Personally i think it's because i never take my contacts out... Possibly something to consider... Well i'm gonna finish up this movie so i can go to sleep and wake up and AMY AND MIKEY come home.... WOO HOO!!!
P.S. Bears in my bed and he's hot as firecracker..... ::

.:Anna blogged on 11:24 PM:.
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::Ok today just plain sucked..... I miss heather, amy and mikey sooo much.... I can't wait to see all of them... But back to why i'm emotional, so i tried working on heather's painting earlier and i just got so frustrated with my creativity bc nothing was working the way i wanted it too.... I don't know i hate when i start feeling depressed like this because it's so hard to start feeling happy again.... And i dont know all why im so upset because i have so much to be happy for.... It's just hard sometimes to find the motiviation to be happy. I guess this proves that when you don't have the ones you love the most right there next to you when you need them it just makes it all the more hard.... Well im out for the evening, i thought blogging would help but im still in the same state of mind..... ::

.:Anna blogged on 10:21 PM:.

::So how long have josh and I been friends? Oooo yeah since we dated freshman year.... Well aside all that we all know that i haven't wanted to be with him since that time period... Well josh starts bitching at me for NO REASON, o wait it's because he's mad that i've been hanging out with mikey.... Ok i thought i've made it clear for the past 4 YEARS that i haven't wanted to be with him in that way... It's obvious he's emotional because of me and mikey but i can' t help that their neighbors..... Aside all that who gives a shit who's friends with who blah blah...
Goes back to old bullshit.....
Anyways had to get that out of my system.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 6:31 PM:.

::So can i just go ahead and say that i miss heather more than kids miss the zoo... Im sitting at jenn p's last night and i'm talking to heather and Katie GEEKING out.... Those two are so funny!!!! Everyone was looking at me like i was completely insane but trust me the laugh was worth it... Katie and i start talking about saving oscar and heathers supp. throwing up in the closet which come to find (never happened) but that sure as hell would have been funny.... Anyways like i was saying i miss the shit out of HEATHER!!!! Oooo wait that's not her name, TURD FURGUSON!!!! COME HOME DUDE!!!!
So ames went to austin this morning, after the last austin trip i decided hey i'm not going again.... Plus Mikey's coming home tomorrow!!!!!! OOOO yes yes speaking of, not to be 7th grade or anything but we decided to make it official soooo :)!!!!!!!! I had the biggest geek out smile on my face last night.... Haven't had the label guy boyfriend in a long time but its cute....
AnYWAys Who agrees the weather is soooo amazing, i'm gonna go for a run...
Lata::

.:Anna blogged on 2:02 PM:.
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::I'm pissed right about right now bc amy smoked the only good bud i had left.... She was so drunk coming home from mijos, ooo anna i promise im buying a sack, yea yeah whatever..... Really when was the last time YOU bought a sack.... SO whatev... I'm just pissed bc now i have absolutly no bud..... So thanks amy for acting like you didnt smoke it when in fact i know you did.... NOBODY ELSE COULD HAVE...... it's not like bud just disappears.... Either you smoked or lost it, take your pick....
Enough with being pissed because today was a beautiful day outside!!! I sat outside for a long time listening to music & reading.... You know i did, caus i ain't got no J O B!!! Heathers still in washington right now, I MISS YOU TONS!!!! How about some turd furguson?!
Anyways ROUGH thats the way you'e mother likes it..... ::

.:Anna blogged on 4:18 PM:.
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::Well, I'm chilling in my room and i can't figure out if the reason i can't sleep is because i did the anti-cig thing today or because hey I NEVER go to bed early so why would i start tonight.... Ames isn't home yet, wonder what kind of trouble she's getting into....
So i called mikey and his phone is off so i'm guessing its roaming which makes me kinda sad because i wanted to talk to him before i went to bed.... Kate and I just went downstairs to get some food, the dogs are YES still shaved.... OOoo but they look so cute.. Ok i'm gonna watch the sweetest thing and then try to go to sleep..... Hasta manana.....::

.:Anna blogged on 10:36 PM:.

::Ok so i'm officially bored & tired at the same time.... In fact i'm sooo worn out i could go to sleep but its only 7 and i'll wake up at 3 and be wide awake... So i guess i'll probably end up watching a movie with mom & burrito.... So Mikey and Adam are driving to colorado right now to go snowboarding... Yep already miss him.... Ok I dont have much to say so im gg......::

.:Anna blogged on 4:48 PM:.

::So it's a new YEAR, sounds great to me.... Last night Mikey and I went to this party out at lake tawakeeniwaw (something like that) Anyway we had a awesome time....
It was 45 minute drive so we talked the whole way there blah blah then when we finally got there we went around to the back where the boys were riding the 50's and there were some random fireworks going off in random directions.... Anyhow the girls were hella chilla and all of the guys were soooo funny. I could have stayed in town for new years but i wouldn't change a thing about last night.... So everyone got so distracted in having a good time that we almost missed midnight.... It just so happened i looked at my phone and it was 11:59 and then 12:00 hit a few seconds later... So Mikey and I have one of the cutest kisses and then 2004....
Ok so I'm really into the kid.... Yes i like him alot, we can go ahead and get that one out of the way.... He's wonderful and the parentals like him soooo.... ooo yeah he's one of the only guys the dogs haven't barked at either... Ok now it's just getting out of hand.... ;)
Heather called last night, sounds like she's having a good time!!!! TURD FURGUSON I LOOOOOVE you!!!!!! Over and out because momma p needs help with taking the christmas decorations down.... :( ::

.:Anna blogged on 1:06 PM:.
...
::"Those who cannot forgive others break the bridge over which they themselves must pass." - confusius

::

.:Anna blogged on 10:05 AM:.

::So lately i've had a few blogs just delete and that makes me kinda frustrated... But anyways tonight was a good farewell to heather and got to see alot of old school friends, which i love..... So Mikey and I went to see elf again, it was sooo cute because we were sitting in the movie and i remember smiling about something funny in the movie and mikey kinda kissed my cheek and i looked at him (and we hadn't kissed yet) and then it happened and it was sooooooo cute..... I'm really starting to like him and its just so wonderful..... I mean the kiss totally gave me hundreds of butterflies in my stomach.... ( i love that) He's just soooo sweet, i can't believe that all of this is happening the way it is.... Honestly mikey would make the perfect boyfriend and its all happening in the most wonderful way.... I'm sitting her wondering how i got so lucky to be in this position.... He's got everything layed out for him, pro wakeboarder, going to school to be a pilot, he's funny, really attractive, sweet I mean everything you'd want in a boyfriend..... I've got a crush.... ;)
Anyways so after the movie, i called heather and they were all over at brandon's so i stopped by over there and that was super cool.... Carlos was gonna make hamburgers until brandon was like sorry i'm not giving you lighter fluid, which probably was a good idea.... (j/K) After the fiesta carlos, adam, heather and i went to waffle house for some food and nick, brandon and nick's friend showed up so we had a little gathering up at wf..... So we ended up leaving i drop the kiddos off and then drop heather off (which was kinda sad because i'm gonna miss her even if it is only for a few days) But she'll have super fun in washington for new years.... Speaking of new years (it's TOMORROW) I told brittni i'd go chill with her for awhile and then i'm hoping to meet up with mikey and go to a party with him. Ames said her and johnson are going to mink to party up so thats all chill.....
OOOOO yeah so today the dogs got groomed and they look sooooooooo cute.... The dog people came to the house and groomed them (giving them a puppy cut) Mom gave the puppies some puppy xanex so they wouldnt go all crazy like they normally do and they were so messed up they could barely walk... (it was really sad) But they turned out cuter than a button!!!!!
OOO yeah and ames way to be a fugitive from the cops today.... Ames is like what cops, I'll RUN FORREST RUN on that one.... Congrats on getting your lawyer to lift those warrents!!!! FINALLY yo... Although my cookies were a little frosted with ames tonight because she had like 6 shots of patrone and then went driving after she PROMISED she wouldnt... I guess giving me her word really wasnt that big of a deal.... :(
Well it's almost 4 in the morning and i need to get some sleep... I want to conclude with adam's and i's convo because i love that kid soooo much!!!
(Circle of friends FOREVER)

APeters03: hello my friend
mradamtoo: hello my dear
APeters03: i already miss you!
mradamtoo: no i already miss you!
APeters03: You tired at all yet?
mradamtoo: a little
mradamtoo: you?
APeters03: no not really
APeters03: i had a good time tonight
mradamtoo: me too
mradamtoo: wishe we could cuddle now so we could become tired
APeters03: i def want to chill tomorrow though
mradamtoo: yeah
mradamtoo: afternoon movie session or something
APeters03: please!
APeters03: or we can always do our favorite and get some coffee!
mradamtoo: yeah we can
mradamtoo: im gonna go curl up in my sleeping bag
mradamtoo: call me tomorrow anna!
mradamtoo: goodnight!

I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!! You're my favorite Adam in the WHOLE wide world!!!!!

Hope everyone has a wonderful and safe new years!!!!
As carlos says, senior senior 03, we're the best they'll ever be..... Let's go ahead and bring in 2004 guys.....

::

.:Anna blogged on 2:02 AM:.
...
::Sooooooooo I need to do a little bit of bitching.... I'm kinda pissed that bob made such a BIG deal oooo oh my gosh why is my name nixon on anna's blog. PLEASE give me a break... I fucking helped that kid get over my sister, and here he is bitching about some name that i thought was funny.... Great way to turn into a GIANT jackass..... Anyways tomorrow is New years more like give me a break and get drunk....
So camille stopped by and that's cool because i havent' seen her in awhile.... I always enjoy the stories of camille's life and all of her activities....
Amy's bitching because she wants to go to mijos and get a drink and all i want to do is see mikey and chill with him.... MORAL OF STORY i'll end up doing both..... so blah blah blah im gonna go... adios ::

.:Anna blogged on 4:58 PM:.
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::OOOOO MY GATO MR. ROBOTO!!!!
So i'm about ready to do some mad d r u n k bowling!!!!! Speaking of bowling, did i forget to mention that heather and i are taking bowling at tcc next semester?! Well you better bet you're sweet socks we are!!!!
(Throat=still hurts!!!!!!!!! )
So heather and i are conversing right now about how dumb we all were when we were freshman at c double douche h s...... Dressing up like street walkers... I dont know abotu all that... BUT I DO KNOW.... SHOWPLACE LANES GET READY for heather and anna bowlers of the month club.... Over and out!!!!
::

.:Anna blogged on 7:58 PM:.

::Here I am up at 1:18 in the afternoon again.... Way to show em anna....

DYNAMIC IRISH DUO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND batman speaks...... ::

.:Anna blogged on 11:21 AM:.

::So most of today my throat has hurt pretty bad even though i felt fine... (by most of today i mean from 4pm until now 3:50 in the morning) Ames and I went up to Ihop to get some food which was more than a good call... Mikey's leaving day after tomorrow so i really wanted to see him tonight, which i did.... There's something about that kid, he's just soooo sweet. I mean this kid is funny, good looking and sweet all at the same time... For awhile now i really haven't wanted to be in a relationship because i didn't want the fighting & bullshitting that most couples do. But im thinking i could be with this kid and just be happy. It's wierd most relationships i've wanted to rush into, i've wanted to know that we're "together" or some label... But not with Mikey, i would just like to see things happen to happen because we'd go good together... So i don't know we'll see....
On a happier note i left my an away message that said this on aol....

*Dealing with a cold :/ 915-0053 *
-and these were the replys
all new amy: way to ditch out on me, captain avoido. :-) j/k, talk to you tomorrow. h:-!
FGLOS03: i hope u get better little butterfly
gumbyboarder16: awww i hope u feel better
Mags972: feel better P. I love u
BwaT269: poor baby!

I've got some cool friends.... WARM FUZZY FEELINGS woo HOO!!!!!
As for you MISS PETERS, AMY.... You're ass is going down like the titanic! jk
Ok and now time to sleep.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 2:02 AM:.
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::ahhhhhh I hate being sick.... I think i'm getting what mom had a awhile ago.... My throat hurts sooooo bad... Last night Ames, Derrick, Mikey and I all went to Rocky's to chill and i don't know if it was all the cigarette smoke in the air or what but my throat is so sore.... So thoughts about Mikey..... So i'm thinking hey yea this kid is sooo sweet but do i really want a relationship?(We'll see....) I got home last night around 5:00 and went to sleep around 5:30 in the morning and slept till 4 in the afternoon today and here i am at 8:52 at night and i'm already to crash..... However i could always use a good ihop trip with ames...
So there's been this girl names Mindy who's a freshmen at Colleyville that's been talking shit to my little sister, which i think is super dumb bc were we that dumb to talk shit to 8th graders when we were freshman? I don't know i can't help but want to smack the shit out of that girl for being such a dumbass.... but kids will be kids i guess.....
::

.:Anna blogged on 7:00 PM:.
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::Well christmas was good... We started it off at 12:00 at ihop (MERRY CHRISTMAS) then Heather, Ames, Todd and I all went to the airport which was major chill until we had to leave cause the security level has been raised to orange. (Understandable) Then we all go to Bear Creek Park to have some fun on the playground... (which you better bet you're sweet buns we did) anyways i get home around 3, go to sleep, wake up at 9, OPEN PRESENTS and then ames and i hit my bed hard core and we slept until 2...... Last night ames and i went to jack's and that kid is crazy... If you've seen the doors movie where Jim meets andy somebody or another, jack sounds like the andy guy... He's real down to earth yet you could tell he was really messed up.... So to be honest i was ready to leave for that reason so.... TRIP TO IHOP.... We chill there for awhile and amy looks like she's about to pass out so i take ames home and heather and I go over to guss'.... Mikey stops by... Which was cool and wierd all at the same time.... Mikey = cool kid... He's just josh hankinson's next door neighbor, that's not too wierd... Plus i just want to be with a guy where i don't have to have anything serious to the point that i can't keep doing what i'm doing, because honestly i'm a happy camper right about now.... Anyways that's a whole lotta blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.... So mags and i are about to hit up the galleria and get some lunch so i'm gonna start getting ready..... Adioso::

.:Anna blogged on 12:36 PM:.
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::Well christmas is tomorrow!!!!! I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe holiday!!!! Heather's birthday is today!!!! We celebrated last night at Red Robin which was awesome... Let's just say heather had a goal and we accomplished it!!!! So after last night getting crazy, today brittni and i ran up t o parks mall which wasn't too bad (after all we woke up at 10 to go) i thought i was gonna toss my cookies a few times when we were browsing through the ole abercrombo..... but luckily the cookies stayed in the container.... I was super stoked when we finally got some lunch because i was starting to feel like i was gonna pass out.... As we drove back home heathers jeep was still at mijos!!!!! ---- yeah!!!! and bla blah blah..... So i think tonight to finish up the perfect christmas eve, heathcliff and i are gonna take a little adventura to watch the planes fly in and have a few bowls..... I mean really way to finish up a grrreat ole birthday for heathrackett.... We opened some christmas presents tonight and i got a bomb ass leather jacket which is cool... Amy and I got a sweater from banana for momma cita and burrito got a battleships book... He seemed interested..... however i dont know that he'll explore into the book very much... after all,"i was on a destroyer but these are my favorite ships..." yeah ok dad.... I should have just gone and got him something from the harley store.... But whatev.... I got kate the linkin park dvd live from texas and i really want to pursue going to the concert in feb is it? Anyways she likes them, i like them and i'd love to take her..... O did i forget to mention amy and i took each other on a shopping spree, that's about all we know to get each other..... and it worked out fine... well HO HO HO its christmas in 2 hours!!!!!! Anyhow i'm gonna wrap up this tortilla for the evening and finish off heathranchero's birthday.... over and out.....
MERRY CHRISTMAS KIDDOS.....::

.:Anna blogged on 8:05 PM:.
...
::does it ever end???? didn't think so.....::

.:Anna blogged on 10:57 PM:.

::well last night...... lets see, got a little outta hand...... No i really shouldnt say that because i had the whole situation dealt with.... (and under control) but back to why it almost erupted.... we're driving around, de, de, de, de,de.. that's when lights go flashing from behind amy's car... (welp kids im driving, good one on that call) but dont worry later on we find out i was driving fine!!! so, typical can i see you're liscences and registration.... yoodleeoddleeoooooo...... skip ahead, anyways we all get out of the car, FREEZING!!!!!! the officers like you're eyes are kinda red, why's that? and amy and i are like it's because of contacts, and its cold.... So he looks through all our stuff and doesnt find anything.... (thank god) DID I MENTION that amy had 2 warrents & a pipe under her seat!!!!!!!! And this hotty mr. police officer was like go get them taken care of and didn't take amy to jail!!!! THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (that's the reason the police officer pulled her over (ran her liscence plate = found she had 2 warrents) anyways moral of the story we get out scott free..... lucky lucky lucky....
well now its the honestly time to go get a j o b..... so im out..... ::

.:Anna blogged on 12:55 PM:.
...
::Ok lets get one thing straight, over all tonight i had a really good time.... I got to see chauncy (whom i have chilled with in a LONG time) and also i got to have a good time with some friends... Well..... Chauncy, Amy and I go over to kristy's to have a little session, we get over there and theres these 3 really pretty girls whom im thinking these girls look nice, but... So I introduce myself, hey what's up, blah, blah, blah... And they seem cool whatev... I go to the restroom cause ames and i had a good time at mijos and chilis, well they're talking shit to amy about "some" girl (whom amy has no clue who they are, and they're just talking shit) and i walk out in front of these 3 girls, and i'm like i don't know why you're talking shit, thats so gay, talk about someone just talking about someone... this one girl gives me this look like wow i can't believe you said something, blah blah... But seriously i mean im not gonna listin to some girl talk abotu someone to my sister who we don't even know. I mean whether you know them or not, really people don't fucking listen to someone talk.... because all they're doing is trying to put someone down so they can look cool.... and feel better about themselves, Fuck off..... If i've learned one thing is i'm really not going to sit and listen to someone talk shit about someone, whether i know them or not.... Because they just LOOK DUMB... If all you have time to do to create conversation about someone you just don't like (and thats really all you have to talk about) you're really someone that would be labeled as an absolute idiot..... I mean nobody really wants to listen to your gripe and bitch about someone you don't like... So anyone that reads this, IF anyone... better not (no-one) than someone.... Don't make yourself look like an idiot by talking about someone, really...... It just shows you have no personality and how shallow YOU REALLY ARE......::

.:Anna blogged on 10:38 PM:.
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::K lets go ahead and get this straight.....
RETURN OF THE KING = AWESOME
Last night we went and saw it and it was just out of control....
(Despite the 3 hrs and 25 minutes that the movie lasted)
But hey it was worth it, and to my suprise i was up and ready to show em even at 3:30 in the morning::

.:Anna blogged on 12:59 PM:.
...
::So last night i was checking up on Bob's blog to see if posted anything funny, because on normal occasions he writes some good stuff.... Anyhow, I was reading some stuff and i came to the, "I told you I was hardcore." And it was basically about this kid that kept popping all kinds of pills like, methadone and inderal and all these crazy medications that i've only heard about.... I mean he was downing this shit online while people were watching.... (he had a webcam) Anyways these kids were agging him on like take some more, take some more... And he pops up with in the middle of the conversation i drank some 151.... So with the mass amounts of methadone and.....
i copy and pasted the conversation of what exactly he took....
400mcg LSD 2 grams mesc 100mg 5Meo DMT 8 grams shrooms 320mg methadone
8mg klonopin 120mg resotril 1.5 grams KB 4 grams mersh I just ate about 160mg inderal I drank some 151 8mg klonopin the mix '24mg klonopin

(ripper) is the kids name
ripper> I told u I was hardcore.....

and that was the last thing this kid says before he dies.... and what made the situation worse was that they couldn't find where exactly he was living at so all they could do is watch while this kid basically kills himself.... I mean as this conversation goes on he keeps adding more and more drugs to his system... My point is building tolerance to something doesn't guarantee you a life..... For my friends out there and to myself, I'm still hoping those of you who by chance read this and are doing some crazy shit, be careful.... EVERY SINGLE one of you are IMPORTANT.... From reading the conversation just put a knot in my stomach, I mean shit like that really happens in the real world, and we tend to just think about the world in terms of grapevine, colleyville, euless..... and wherever else you might have dropped in once or twice.... Just know that the plans that are made for you are not to die by overdosing or trying something that could get you killed.....


::

.:Anna blogged on 11:03 AM:.
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.:Monday, December 15, 2003:.

::Inspired by Maggie's and my conversation yesterday

So I rang up ole' Saddam the other day to see how his 6 by 8er was doin...
"RING, RING, RING"
-"You've reached Saddam, sooorry i can't get to the phooone, Leave a message....."
(-and i'm thinking.....)
Suprise, Suprise (geez being that he was in a HOLE he probably doesn't have service!)
(or possibly he left it in one of his palaces that was blown up)
(-my message)
"So i just want to congratulate you saddam.... Being the jackass that you are for living in a 6 by 8 foot hole, featuring a air circulation pipe and some guns... Way to show em..... I was just trying to figure out, where exactly did you use the restroom in you're hole when you had to go? Talk to you later.... You're friend Anna Peters"::

.:Anna blogged on 4:18 PM:.

::I'm a joker
I'm a smoker
I'm a midnight toker
I sure don't want to hurt no one
-steve miller band::

.:Anna blogged on 2:40 PM:.
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.:Sunday, December 14, 2003:.

::Well good and semi close bad news.... I'm back and better than ever (that's the good news) the bad news is i hear talk is already abrupting out of people's mouths... I mean im thinking are these people really dumb enough to talk about me like they know me and look cool. I mean I know who i am and that i have more to do with my time then sit around and talk shit about somebody...Seriously anybody who sits around and just talks shit deserves to be hit in the face... I mean you look dumb cuz..... It's rediculous.... Sometimes people have got to step up to bat and just shut up ya know??? Keep people's names out of your mouth.... but seriously things are overall pretty chill. Amy Colbs and I were gonna hit up the gringo skate party but then plans foiled bc i started feeling bad... AND ON WHAT A NIGHT!!! Hot skater boys running around... yeah i like that!!!!
So today i think kristi amy and heather and i are gonna go watch elf!!! I really should be cleaning my room bc it's just a mess... Moving back home kinda sucked, but we had some good goodbye parties.... Anyways... I'm out....
Information to REMEMBER..... people are going to be friends with WHOEVER they want... and that's chill bc nobody has control over that kinda bullshit... Honestly anyone who sits around and talks about ooo my gosh can you believe their friends is seriously a huge douche bag.... I mean we're talking have no life douche bag... So the best forum for anyone is to just close their mouths and live their lives happily.....::

.:Anna blogged on 11:39 AM:.
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.:Monday, December 08, 2003:.

::So i had a great weekend. Heather and i went down to deep ellum and def. enjoyed some good music... I felt like this weekend took alot of stress off my shoulders. (and thats muy bueno on the reals) Theres so much stuff going on in my head and i wish i could just get it all out, i feel like one thing i've learned is stay out of trouble that you don't belong in.... Despite all the stuff that went on in Wichita Falls i made some good friends. Every single person here made me a better person somehow, (with the exception of sallie) she just went mad crazy.... But anyhow, I was really mad at amy this weekend for trying to make my dad look like such a bad man... Dad had provided for her whenever she has EVER needed anything. Its just that she takes advantage of little things and to a certain extent thats wrong. My dad has watched his father, and step fathers wail on his mother, his intentions werent to see if he could hurt amy, it was to get her under control.... It says in the bible to honor thy mother and father and she doesn't.... So in time i hope if anything she learns that dad loves her more than anything else... and i know that because all day sunday he cried.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 8:22 PM:.
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.:Wednesday, December 03, 2003:.

::This is what i found out today.....
I'm one of those girls that loves seeing a huge hill in front of me, because i know even though i can't see the other side the picture will soon be painted into view. I'm one of those girls that closes my eyes for just a few seconds so i can feel the wind hitting my face. I'm a girl that will cry in the car just because i'm happy for today, yesterday and tomorrow..... I'm a girl thats blessed with some good people in my life and i can't be anything but thankful..... And this in itself is what i should have discovered before today but never took the time to realize... The world is so beautiful and theres so much beauty in everything and everyone.... If people would take the time to realize some of those 5 second wonders that are right in FRONT of their faces and how much they can change you as a person for the BETTER, i hope to think everyone would be alot happier with themselves. You've honestly got to be happy with yourself and you're decisions before you can be happy with anything else.... The possibilities are endless and the days keep coming..... I hope everyone finds something today that makes them just thankful for all the blessings that are here among us all the time....::

.:Anna blogged on 4:53 PM:.
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.:Saturday, November 22, 2003:.

::Well I'm at home for the weekend.... SWEET. My birthday's on tuesday, however my parents are still pissed about the $3,000 dollar credit card bill, so I don't know that they're gonna go all out for the birthday.... Anyhow, Amy and i talked, super cool... We needed to. I was supposed to go stay with kristen yesterday but i decided that i didnt want to drive 4 hours and im fresh out of money. So last night cody and talisha and i did some bowling.... This next week is seriously going to be full of chaos and fun. I'm super stoked to see everyone and theres already some bad ass party's lined up... I do o very much love that.... Amy just walked into the house, she looks like she had a rough night.... Burrito's out riding on his harley with his riders association friends... He took me out yesterday, i Love spending time with him and mom is out running errands.... Wichita has been some chaos, sal and i got into the biggest fight and when i say fight i mean actual fight.... I dont know i just got sick of listening to her be so into herself.... Sounds like someone else i know... I really don't understand how sometimes you can sit and talk to someone and the whole conversation goes about them. It just gets old after awhile.... So i'm gonna get some lunch then go get my hair re-done..... I'm out like a fat trout... over and out..... CAN'T WAIT TO SEE EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!! ::

.:Anna blogged on 10:06 AM:.
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.:Tuesday, November 11, 2003:.

::ok so i think my last blog just deleted, i hate when that happens....
im gonna sum up what i said....
I had an amazing time seeing everybody this weekend....
Brooke & Maggie, i love you guys more than gophers love to burrow in the ground!
Im glad that everyone was cool EVERYONE this past weekend.....
& i was glad i didn't see my sister this weekend, NO DRAMA=No STRESS
I dont know if i'm gonna stay here next semester, WHAT TO DO?!
Got some amazing pictures from this weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EVERYONE take some time for you, read up on Zen, be thankful for things you don't understand..... ::

.:Anna blogged on 12:40 PM:.
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.:Friday, November 07, 2003:.

::So i'm back home from Wichita Falls, and it felt good for about 2 hours to be home.... UNTIL....
I should explain the story first.... So i came home at 2 started doing laundry and amy puts a shirt in the dryer... Well i needed to get my clothes in the dryer quick so i put amy's shirt in with my stuff.... 20 minutes later amy comes downstarirs, her words exactly," OOO my GOD! MOM!!!" Man i knew what she was moanign about before she could say anything... My reply was this, check in the dryer amy.... Shes so spoiled and petty that she didnt even bother to look in the dryer, yep that's pretty pathetic. My sister tries so hard to make me mad and feel bad about stuff and all i can say is who is really that unhappy that they have to nark out they're own flesh and blood.... I'm serious my sister tattled on me for the stupidest stuff... MOM, anna's drinking.... blah blah blah... the funny honest truth (and gods the one who holds me accountable) i havent drank in wow i can't remember how long.... It's just stuff liek that where amy tries SOOOO hard to make me look bad.... It's just gonna be sad when i go through major events in my life like getting married and having kids and knowing that i want my sister to have nothing to do with those special events. She betrayed my trust.... I know that i've said many times before i'm done with my sister blah blah... I'm just sick of my sister amy peters being someone who cares only about herself and her well being.... shes made too many promises that shes broken and i just can't take that anymore.... its going to be hard esp. this thanksgiving, my birthday, christmas not looking at her as if shes apart of my life but lessons need to be learned.
On a better note a bunch of my friends are home from college and i get to see them all tomorrow! that makes me super super happy!!! im now going to go take kate to her church camp spend the nighter!!! adios::

.:Anna blogged on 8:37 PM:.
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.:Wednesday, October 22, 2003:.

::so its 3:29 in the mornin'!!!!!!!!!!! the college life, aaaaaaahhhhhhh.... I've been studying my ass off all night for mid terms but i gotta pass so i dont have to go back home and live. Ugh i dont even want to imagine... I think this summer sallie and i are gonna stay up here and live.... YEAH WOO HA...... But seriously guys, i havent written in a long time bc i've pledged to myself to keep writing in my journal up here.... I dont want anyone to know whats going on in my life up here.... and anyone who i would well lets just say they know.... Ok so yeah lately woooooah lately..... School's good, everythings good. WE all went to amber and lucy's saturday night to chill with the wellington crew.... Which was cool bc sal and i went to stage and the oxygen bar but nothin was crackin there soooo.... Shea bought some hennesy, hypnotic and some everclear so downstairs was doin the damn thing.... My little sister wrote me the funniest email, which is good to hear thats she doing better since holly died... That was so sad listening to her cry.... Woah.... So sal and i went to whats it ma called to get some grub for dinner and watch the yankee game but to our delight we had the hottest waiter in the entire world, 19 goes to msu pretty damn hot... Yeah got his number and merry christmas. So yeah AMY COME PARTY WITH ME FOR HALLOWEEN... Theres gonna be some bad ass partys down here.... I told her to bring colby so we could all chill, im pretty stoked so thats chill.... Maggie mayberry if you read this just know im so glad you called the other day!!!!

So im gonna be out for the evening, hope all is well that can be well.... GO YANKEES!!! 2 more games....
signing out msu studying student, merry christmas to all and to all a good night.... chow
::

.:Anna blogged on 1:39 AM:.
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.:Friday, October 10, 2003:.

::how can you talk "shit" when you're speaking the truth???? ::

.:Anna blogged on 1:05 PM:.

::it's spelled Wichita Falls.... take reference....::

.:Anna blogged on 1:04 PM:.

::so im chillin at the apartment.... da da da da..... so i have something funny to say. I was checking up on my sister to see how she was doing well mostly to see who's the lucky guy she had sex with this week or what else she stole from one of her friends and i've come to find but CONGRATULATIONS to me i'm still on her blog list under shit, i wish i could have been fortunate enough to have been under a more interesting topic but what can you do? I wish she would just delete my blog from her memory because personally she just reads my stuff and gets mad, if she would just not put my blog as a blog to read i think she would be a happier person. AND I KNOW I WOULD TOO. because i wouldnt have to listen to her bitch and moan about what makes her mad..... I already know what makes her mad i'd rather her shut her fat mouth because im sick of listening to it. ITs like my sister and i's relationship is so rediculousy stupid. I'm just gonna say now i dont like her, in fact i get sick of all the,"mom look what anna wrote in her blog stuff..." get over you dumb idiot. Its not like you dont post your whole open legged life in your blog. I guess i just need to stop talkign to her. I wish i could divorce her from my life. I mean seriously its so not fair my parents expect me to be friends with her but excuse my sister is more immature then i am. I hear she got another overdraft again.... go figure. I wonder when she'll learn how to deal with her money. Wait what am i talking about this stuff has been going on 2 years.... Amy doesnt know how to save money..... THE STORY OF AMYS LIFE..... o well.... so heather called me this weekend and told me they got to chill with tech 9, its sounds like they all had a good time. Might as well ya know. Make the best of everything....
So school's going good, i dont know what we're gonna do tonight but hmmmm ill get to thinking in a few.
ADVICE FOR MY SISTER: don't steal anymore codiene from you're friends.... who steal's??? i didnt know that was cool?::

.:Anna blogged on 12:51 PM:.
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.:Tuesday, October 07, 2003:.

::Blog time.... Man i havent blogged in a long time so this blog is dedicated to 2 of my favorite people SAL & Bob!!!! Word up guys.... So heres my life lately. Im really starting to love wichita falls, if i didnt love my parents so much i'd probably stick mysef here.... Sam and i called things off. I'm just tired of her always trying to push my buttons. I mean give me a break she doesnt like sally JUST BECAUSE so when i bring sallie home this weekend whats she want me to do call her and tell her i'm there so she can get mad at me for not ditching sallie to hang with her. I mean its a no win situation and its so selfish of her to not give a damn about anything. It's just time to move on and i can honestly say for the first time I DONT MISS that bullshit. Things havent been the same since i moved here anyways. We're two totally different people.... The main point is i knew if i did something small anything sam would get pissed off BLAH BLAH BLAH.... Sorry but ive worked my ass of to be a best friend to sam and nothings ever good enough for her. Life is different here and i like that, i like that i dont have to work for friendships anymore, they just happen. Sallie has been one of the best things that have ever happen to me. She always told me to call sam tell her that i love her blah blah blah, shes just nice like that. We would be in grapevine and sallie would be like call sam i'd like to hang out with her. And the whole time sam just doesnt want to like sallie who is one of the nicest people in the world. Im just talking about thats BULLSHIT straight up. To not like someone you dont even know is pathetic... So from here on out i dont want to ever have to deal with that again. I've lied for her too many times, i've kissed her ass too many times and i'm done with all of it...
On another gay note my sister the thief made some real stupid immature decisions, i'd rather not post it online but its typical. I'm so sick of hearing people apologize for mistakes they make. I'm not going to be the forgiving anna anymore, bc i dont need friends who still act like they're 14. You can only apologize so many times before people stop forgiving.
So this past weekend i got to see greg carlos blake j and some other cool kids. I didnt get to see bob :( but we all know bob was pretty sick so we'll plan a new fiesta sometime soon.
So tonight i think the girls and i are gonna go see the soccer game and support the boys, that or i might go see a movie with this guy in one of my classes. And now i'm gonna go pick up sal from work. Im out like a fat trout!

MSU YEAH BABY!!!!! GO get those BUFFALO's THIS WEEKEND!!!!!!!
34,80 all the way!!!!
::

.:Anna blogged on 2:37 PM:.
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.:Saturday, September 27, 2003:.

::ok just wondering can my sister be anymore wierd? Holy conolie, does she ever chill and relax???!!!!! just wondering.....::

.:Anna blogged on 12:04 AM:.
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.:Friday, September 26, 2003:.

::representing MSU!!!!!::

.:Anna blogged on 11:58 PM:.

::Hooray hooray hooray!!!!! COSMIC BOWLING TIME!!!! WORD TO YA MOTHA YO!!!!!!



Bob is my Brother, I'm not lyin'!!!!! I've got a best friend and brother in ONE..... AWESOME!!!!!!
::

.:Anna blogged on 11:58 PM:.

::I'm home!!!!! Yeah! Bob and I are chilling at Bob's moms... I've really missed bob so it's cool to sit and chill with him. I called my sister tonight and she was the totally expected rude sister that i just can't get enough of..... BLAH BLAH BLAH.... Anyways it's cool to be back in the gville..... Technically i'm in Bedford, but ya know.... So bob and i are gonna go do some cosmic bowlin!!! I missed the old times.... tons and tons.... Sorry i havent been able to blog in a long while, my connection at the apartment, sucks.......


Everybody check this out.... GO TO GOOGLE and type in Jen Preece.... Check what comes up! HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHH
I'm a GENIUS!
I'm out like velvet pants in the 80's!::

.:Anna blogged on 10:04 PM:.
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.:Saturday, September 06, 2003:.

::So i'm chillin the apartment, I've got alot to write about so here it goes....
I really really like it here but at the same time i really miss ALL the old times with sam and tt, chillin with bob and doin all those old things i loved and lived for..... Last night was pretty chill sally, myself, good ole chuck and isaac came over. Well after we knew it 6 more guys from the air force base showed up, then bill from next door showed up AND THEN another one of our neighbors came over.... We took some bad ass pictures i can say that right now.... Moving along i was dating this guy named donnie but frat boys arent really my thing, so now i'm seeing this guy that plays soccer for MSU, he reminds me alot of tyler but doesnt look anything like him. All the girls up here went to some rodeo this weekend so sallie and i've been chillin in the apt appreciating the fact the everythings actually been considerably quiet around here.... I miss sam a whole lot, i cried to her yesterday about how much i miss her and still need her in my life. She's been my angel so many times...... So my sister went over to sam and tt's, well thats all cool bc sam is one of the BEST people in the whole wide world and i know she can talk to amy HOWEVER i've got to say it's a little wierd that my sister is chilling with my BEST friend.... So tonight i took sallie to the the hospital because the other day she went to give blood up at MSU and she ended up going into convulsions and got stabbed like 50 times, she ended up getting some pain killers..... But i'm glad shes ok and its not a serious blood clot. I'm watching chuck dance right now in my apartment, i really love chuck. He's probably the coolest black guy i've EVER MET IN MY ENTIRE LIFE..... He always makes me smile even when i'm captain in the car and he ends up getting us lost..... Sallie just chills in the back because she knows theres no way that chuck can fit in the back, hes 250 plays football, yall get the point. Hes like our best friend brother kinda guy... I love when we go places with him because hes like our body guard... :) Well im gonna go chill with sal and chuck and then im gonna give jared a call and do the damn thing..... I love all of you in grapevine, most of alll You momma Sam......::

.:Anna blogged on 10:42 PM:.
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.:Monday, August 25, 2003:.

::HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO EVERYONE FROM WICHITA FALLS TEXAS!!!!!!!!!!!!


So im in wichita falls and i LOVE LOVE LOVE it... seriously i couldnt be happier, im so happy to start this new life, meet some new cool people AND STILL HAVE MY WONDERFUL SAM LOUIS CEBALLOS AND TAYLOR RYAN VOSKAMP!!!!!!!!!!!!! O and we all can't forget bob and amy seperatly..... Love both of em, even though they can't stand each other... Well i just wanted to blog real quick and now sallie and i are gonna go lay out by the pool for a few hours.... I HAVE THE MOST BAD ASS SCHOOL SCHEDULE ever.... I LOVE EVERYONE, college is BADASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Sallie & Anna crazy movers 2003, do me a favor and lose 5 pounds right now!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lets all cross our fingers that this donny thing works out.....

I CAN"T WAIT TO SEE MY MOMMA ON FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1::

.:Anna blogged on 12:40 PM:.
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.:Tuesday, August 19, 2003:.

::i wanted to post this bc this makes me want to cry cry cry!!!!

hey it´s me. were in mexico and i miss you sooo much! i was able to get this card where i can use the internet for either 30 minutes for 40 pesos or 60 minutes for 70 pesos. tyalor stacy and i just finished eating dinner and now were just chillin. so mexico is hot. the first day that we got here, i got really sick and tt felt really sick. i was throwing up all night and since then, my stomache has been wierd. oh well. stacy says that its cause my body isn´t used to it here. and that i won´t start feeling ok probably until we leave. but i´ll survive. were picking up burt tomorrow and on thursday were just gonna hang out here at the resort. on friday, were going to another island, izla mujeres, cause the beaches there are supposively gorgeous and the beach here at our resort has a lot of rocks. too many that we really can´t get in the water. so were going to this beach to actually get in. on saturday morning were going to the mayan ruins. then on sunday around 3, well be leaving to come home. ¿how´s everything? i was sad to read that your going to midwestern. i wish you would stay. i miss you sooooo much. but i know this is what you want, and maybe what you need, so i´m very happy for you and hope that they treat you well there. hold on, heres taylor
hey hows it going. things are good here. so we read your blog and we are both sad that you are leaving because you mean alot to both of us. and i know that that might sound like total bs coming from me but.... its not. i will really miss you and i appreciate everything that you have done for sam and i.you mean alot to both of us and we are sad to see you go. even though i might not act like it all the time.stay positive and i will see you when we get back.
ok so i only have 3 minutes left but later this week i will get on again and hope that youve checked ur mail and written me back. i love you tons and tons take care of yourself. tell bob i love the picture of him! i love you.
love, sam and taylor!


::

.:Anna blogged on 9:35 PM:.

::I miss sam and taylor..... I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!! ::

.:Anna blogged on 9:34 PM:.
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.:Monday, August 18, 2003:.

::Well it's anna.... obviously.... I've got some stuff on my mind and i gotta get it off my chest.... PRONTO.... ok so i talked to amy tonight... i have to say what im thinking so i really dont want to hear about this.... So anyways Amy called me, "She just wanted to talk...." I knew what i was in for, THE TALK.... I'm always in for that... Listen it was coming. i knew it, bc i did write a blog about her and everythings about her sooooo....... Point being im tired of hearing about what i write, im tired of amy telling on me to my mom..... Thats all i hear anymore.... I can't say at all that i'm cool with it even though amy promises she doesnt say anything to them... One thing about me is amy used to take so many drugs and NEVER once did i ever say anything so why am i hearing so much shit about something that means the most to me..... So we talked today and although i felt better that i said amy i can't be you're friend anymroe i still feel like i didn't accomplish anything..... For some reason i think that amy still thinks that i'm kidding around and in a week i'll be cool.... Because honestly to me i need this break from amy... I know her better than anyone in this world ever will, i know what hurts her, what makes her happy and what makes her laugh. I can tell when she's lying i can tell when shes being honest.... Thats just how this shit goes... I know her and i know that it's time for our frienship to end.... to be honest i'm not the person she needs in her life, I DONT RESPECT BLANE, i dont respect the things that go on in her life.... Amy used to be able to tell exactly what i was thinking and now i'm more sure than ever that she wouldnt know me if she saw me, physically or emotionally.... The honest truth is we are way too differenet... We just couldn't work if we wanted to, and honestly i can't fight with her anymore, i can't do it to my parents or my sister. I can't accept amy's new life, and if she can't accept mine i dont expect her too... I don't and thats just the moving on deal..... I'm glad i move bc i need this time apart from amy and everything that comes with being her friend, my heart hurts too much and i can't deal with that stress... I make my own decisions and i dont care what anyone else says I MAKE THE DECISIONS.... i have one life and i'm not gonna waste it fighting with my sister.... sorry.... i have to go because that's all i can deal with writing before my head explodes.....::

.:Anna blogged on 10:47 PM:.

::so theres hmmmm a few things i need to say.... I have to say i read staci's blog today and i COMPLETELY agree with staci when she says some people need drama.... Ever since amy and i have started fighting EVERYTIME, no joke something has gone wrong, amy has run to one of my parents to tell them some little secret about me.... Now the deal is with me never once have i douched amy out like that.... Amy loves to throw low blows, and i agree BE DRAMATIC, it's her way of getting that attention that shes never really had before..... But what's embarrasing is that Amy really did get mad bc suppos. staci commented about amy's weight, well if it didnt really bother amy then why did she get so mad at staci to douche a friend out and talk so MUCH SHIT about them...... THAT"S my POINT amy will douche anybody out to make herself look better... I mean even my friends have started making comments on how amy's changed.... Listen the point is i move in a week and i'm glad that i can FINALLY be away from this drama, i honestly can't say that i'm going to miss it...... BECAUSE everytime i try to make it right it feels so wrong... I'm sick of wondering when amy's gonna open her fat mouth again.... I can't trust her i just can't.... I almost wish she wouldnt read this just so i wouldnt have to hear about it later.... I'm so thankful that i've been accepted to MWSU and that i'm finally leaving! My parents have been so great about this...
Today was katy's first day of school, for 8th grade i picked out her outfit and wrote her a real sweet letter.... I'm so sad that i won't be able to be here for her everynight to tell her i love her and how much she means to me... Anyhow that's the news for now... O yeah i miss sam and taylor oooo so very much and i can't wait to see them... O yeah i dont get to see them for 2 weeks!!!!! It's cool i'm moving to wichita this weekend! HOOOOOORAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!! hIP hOP HooRay! So i'm out like a fat trout.... I got mail, i got mail, i got mail, yeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
Bob hooray for our fun new music!!!! junior senior all the wayyyyyyyy!!!! everybody MOVE YOU"RE feet and UNITED!!! oooo yeaaaaaaaaah.....::

.:Anna blogged on 3:26 PM:.
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.:Friday, August 15, 2003:.

::I love how my sister just keeps ruining things.. Man i keep trying to make things work whatever and then whats super cool is my sister OWES my parents 3000 dollars!!!! Has anyone else noticed that that's about 1/4 of my college????? But its cool she needs to go shopping for the river..... HOW SELFISH can she be..... Not to mention a little thing i call Amy's obsessive shopping disorder...... IF i dont get to go to midwestern bc she's not paying them i SWEAR i will never forgive her... I guess some people forget they have responsibilites...... ::

.:Anna blogged on 1:01 PM:.
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.:Tuesday, August 12, 2003:.

::man my sister is a bitch! stacey i hate you but i do feel kinda bad for you because my sister is a raging bitch... wow i didnt know she was that fucking gay... blane ps you're a fag!!!! i wish you would die in a creves of sperm..... ::

.:Anna blogged on 10:53 PM:.

::Well sam came over last night and amy sam and i just sat and talked about good times, and what the future is holding for all of us.... I can't believe that in two weeks i'm gonna be ON MY OWN..... It seems like it's not really happening! Sam's decided to get a job with amy which is cool... I'm trying to so hard to keep my mind of leaving, but at the same time i'm soooooo excited!!!! I mean i'm taking my whole room with me to college!!!!! And for goodness sakes i'm gonna have my OWN APARTMENT to do whatever i want with!!!!! The girls can take road trips out to see me so we can sit and watch movies, go out on the town blah blah blah... I mean when my parents would leave over the summer sam and i would walk into my house with beverages and be like pretend we're going to our apartment, and now i'm getting mine and i'm always gonna have a good stock so we CAN ALWAYS chill, i hope momma and sam and heather EVERYBODY comes and visits me!!! And bob dont forget you are too!!!! Merry christmas!::

.:Anna blogged on 12:27 PM:.
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.:Monday, August 11, 2003:.

::i have something to say..... Here it goes... There have been a few people that i need to recognize to myself because they've really twisted backwards to be there for me lately... Bob and sam.... You guys have been amazing.... Bob, I want you to know that you've been like a brother to me these past few weeks, you've been an inspiration for me to keep going.... I'm so glad that you're gonna go back to school this spring and get stuff together, I know you're mom will be happy to have you back and i'm sure she's gonna work super strong to help you pay for college at UTA!!!!! Anyways i just wanted you to know Bob that you're friendship has been sooooo super awesome..... I know you and Amy didnt work out and you're moving on in such a positive manner, you've become a totally different person and I"M SO PROUD OF YOU FOR THAT!!!!! And sam we've gone though so much the past year and i can't thank you enough for you're wonderful friendship... You and taylor are so welcoming whenever i want to come over and i'm SO GREATFUL for all of you to be there for me 110%!!!!!! I will miss you guys so much and again i'm sooooooo wonderfully thankful that god has blessed me with you're lives, again thankyou for being such wonderful people and going OUT OF YOU"RE way to be there for me..... I LOVE YOU GUYS for caring about me so much!!!!!!!!.... what makes you guys amazing is that you go out of you're way to be there for me and that is what counts!!!!! LOVE YOU AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!::

.:Anna blogged on 3:15 AM:.
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.:Friday, August 08, 2003:.

::Well here i go...... For the past 7 years i have been through up and downs and left and rights.... I have matured in ways i never thought possible, thanks to the good people god has chosen to put in my life.... (You KNOW who YOU ARE) The point is i discovered myself, been through terrible heartbreaks and HUGE success' in my life.... I can't say that i'm not greatful for god landing me a spot in good ole' grapevine texas.... I mean everyone knows if you live here, there's quote "never" anything to do... But that's what my favorite part was, because when there wasn't anything to do i'd be at sam and taylor's or bob and amy's...... Or doin some crazy shit with old friends, making memories that i would never want to give away or leave.... Tonight i was in the car with sam heather and stacey, we were in the jeep with the top off just chilling doing nothing.......... And my heart broke there right in the car as i realized i'm leaving my comfort zone... I'm leaving what means most to me.... I've made some real friends that i can NEVER let go as long as i live... I pray that god gives me this strength to know i can leave here and do something..... But what about those times i come home to my dad smiling with that big grin on his face, his huge bear hugs.... Or my mom doing my laundry, cleaning my room, i mean when she's completely worn out...... OR ginnie looking up at me with those gorgeous eyes and that cute face.... Kate telling me about her long day at school and how gay those stupid cheerleaders are... Or amy and i just drinking some brew doing nothing.... My family has been my strength when i've given up and my friends have been my shoulder to cry on... How can i leave all this and not turn back and cry..... I want all of you to know, the ones i would give my life for that you are the people that have made me a BETTER PERSON... YOU PEOPLE ARE THE PEOPLE I WAKE UP FOR...... I'm so scared to end this chapter of my life and move on to this new one.... But i pray that i can always hold you're friendship and cherish you're lives as i have been for this last few years..... Thankyou always for those of you that i'm blessed with i wouldnt be alive without you..... God bless all of you, and thankyou, thankyou, thankyou... I'll miss all of you so much... Half of my heart is gone.... LOVE YOU ALL....::

.:Anna blogged on 11:01 PM:.

::I am driving up 85 in the
Kind of morning that lasts all afternoon
just stuck inside the gloom
4 more exits to my apartment but
I am tempted to keep the car in drive
And leave it all behind
Cause I wonder sometimes
About the outcome
Of a still verdictless life

Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Why Georgia, why?

I rent a room and I fill the spaces with
Wood in places to make it feel like home
But all I feel's alone
It might be a quarter life crisis
Or just the stirring in my soul

Either way I wonder sometimes
About the outcome
Of a still verdictless life

Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Why Georgia, why?

So what, so I've got a smile on
But it's hiding the quiet superstitions in my head
Don't believe me
When I say I've got it down

Everybody is just a stranger but
That's the danger in going my own way
I guess it's the price I have to pay
Still "everything happens for a reason"
Is no reason not to ask myself

If I am living it right
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Why Georgia, why?-
-john mayer


"Welcome to the real world", she said to me
Condescendingly
"Take a seat, take your life
Plot it out in black and white"
Well I never lived the dreams of the prom kings
And the drama queens
I'd like to think the best of me
Is still hiding up my sleeve
-John mayer









::

.:Anna blogged on 10:48 PM:.

::Well hmmmm here's some new news of the day..... For everyone who knows me as i know myself, knew i've been looking foward to going to UTA, well because i'm a jackass an applied so late, GOOD news (just kidding) i wasn't accepted.... So here's to midwestern i leave soon....::

.:Anna blogged on 2:44 PM:.
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.:Monday, August 04, 2003:.

::Hmmm my thoughts are hooray for memories of good times!!!!!! ::

.:Anna blogged on 9:03 AM:.
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.:Friday, August 01, 2003:.

::Man you know what really pisses me off, that my sister trys to do everything like me..... FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YOU THINK IT WOULD END!!! First i love how staci the DOUCHE refers to amy as momma a... Hey guys how original, where'd you get that one???? OR for instance when i used to read amy's blog KEY WORD, "USED" How amy would be like, "ooooo i put my pants on or whatever?" Does she make up anything herself???? Yeah i thought not.... Man i just thought of something really bad ass but i probably shouldnt say it in case my sister the douche is keeping up with my blog so she can run to mommy to tell her all the stuff in my blog... REAL COOL..... Nothing ever ends which is why i end up here....
Anyone for meat curtains on the carpet???? ::

.:Anna blogged on 1:42 AM:.
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.:Thursday, July 31, 2003:.

::Blog time.... Drunk Blog time.... Or how about meat curtain time.... Wait no MASH tonight.... On a better note, i was supposed to go to a meeting for journey's at 930 tonight, but it got cancelled..... I'm glad that it got cancelled..... HAHAHAHHA.... I'm supposed to be headint to mother and grandfather sam and taylor's right now, but i can't seem to pull it together... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... Matt and i called it off today, that kind of sucks, and it seems as though aaron is mad at me for being a bitch to him. I'm thinking people get what they deserve.... In any case, I have to work tomorrow, damn..... That god damn job just keeps on coming, luckily i work with some cool people.... In any case, HAHAHAHAHAHA I would really like some taco bueno and a good fat paycheck and i would also like for anthony to stop calling me..... It seems as though i can't deal with that stress of having call me.... The good news is that i havent talked to my sister in a long ass time, i'm really happy about that.... She came into my room the other day acting as though she actually wanted to talk.... Luckily I was reading a good email from bob and happily avoided her..... After all the email was way more entertaining than she meant to be.... But what can i say, i still havent read her blog and i still dont want to be apart of her life..... I dont know what my sister is up to, but i dont give a shit.... That bitch is crazy.... what can i say....Sam jsut called me and said that rasta just went into heat on her pants, the same ones that dinky threw up on... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH... Just kidding sam... Mamma loves her baby and those jeans.... I'm on my way now, so i can get some food into my empty stomach.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH..... so for now my blog is over... hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahh just kidding.... I'm out like a 8 ball in a pool game.... DAMN::

.:Anna blogged on 9:32 PM:.
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.:Wednesday, July 30, 2003:.

::hahhahah what if someone did have two siamese twins that we're mentally challenged along with sars??? (just something to think about) Anyhow.... Good times tonight!!!!! Theres been alot of good times, good thoughts with good friends... I must say i'm lucky.... woo woo's and ringings.... well we know about that one.... Hold up rosie o'donnell???? she's living in a barn and who's her gyno? MASH forever!!!!!! Drunk emails? Don't know about that one but i think i might be included.... I'm tired and i've got to work tomorrow, no talky for now....
::

.:Anna blogged on 10:51 PM:.
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.:Monday, July 28, 2003:.

::I've decided that I'm going to continue writing in this blog rather than the other one bc i've decided my sister is a pyscho and i no longer care what she thinks or what makes her feel "Sad" inside... I really don't, and i plan to never care ever again.... As of now my sister is to me as just someone that i see every now and then, she's hurt me one too many times, she's become what somebody else wants her to be.... I have no plans to be apart of her life at all, i don't want to know what she's doing i.e. basically have nothing to do with her..... For the longest time my sister and i exchanged thoughts on each other's blogs bc we would read them to catch up on what each other was doing.... Now i find that my sister writes in her blog bc she knows people will read it. I guess i'm going to just let everything out because honestly that's what this was for in the first place. It was my escape to get rid of my thoughts that wouldnt go away, now i find that it's just something people do because of the popularity of people reading other people's blogs for the, "hey look at me look at me point of view." The past few weeks have been hell, i can't deny that. I can't deny that my sister has ditched me one to many times, it's just going to be sad when amy goes off and does something stupid and thinks i'm going to be there waiting with open arms, i won't. And if she doesnt really give a damn it's cool bc if she has someone else maybe they will be there for the rest of her life, but as for me it's too late to undo the damage..... Blood is nothing to me anymore, it's a genetic mistake that happened by total accident..... Shes just another person that walks the face of this earth to me. I can't believe that my sister has become the example of what i dislike most about the world... I used to think that Amy and i would be best friends for the rest of our lifes but after this moment i swear to never read her blog, i will never look her in the eyes again, i dont care how much she cries, if at all.... What is done is now done and at some point a line has to be drawn..... And now is the time that things must end..... When jen ditched amy a while ago i remember amy sat outside and cried to me about how jen could hurt her, leave her life and screw them over money wise... Now my sister finds partying with people, spending money that she doesnt have more important than keeping her word to bob. She can lie to my parents tell them she actually paid bob, but i know the truth, i've heard it from her own lips and i now know that i can never trust her ever again. I plan to tell her nothing of my life, obviously i dont want her knowing anything about me. I've taking her back one too many times and a lesson was never learned. This is a time in my life where i'm supposed to spread my wings and fly with no regrets and i hope and pray that the decision i have made is eternal in my blood and i never turn my back on it.... What would be the point, reliving all expierences that have already happened.... I cannot deny my feelings, and my heart. ANd here is where i leave those memories behind....

"What we do in life echoes in eternity"::

.:Anna blogged on 5:12 PM:.
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.:Thursday, July 24, 2003:.

::Well my mom just informed me that i have to stop blogging or put my blog on private bc amy called her bitching today.... That's so cool of my sister and makes me hate her 5,000 times more because she knows how important my blog is to me.... But for those of you who can read my blog and handle it i'll be sure to give you the new blog website.... Let's all give amy a round of applause for ruining one of my favorite things.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 1:54 PM:.

::So Matt and Kyle came over last night and we started watching some of the doors and aaron called and was like adam's about to pick up kyle come outside to say hi.... Well when they get there Kyle's like aaron's not here just so i wouldnt go out and say hi to him, sounds like kyle is a little jealous but whatever..... Well Katie through another awesome gathering.... Cool that there were a BUNCH of people over just chiling, doing our thing.... Anyways matt and i had a really good time just watching final destination two... We just chilled talked, blah blah blah.... What was real cool was that my sister never even came home to watch her dogs, so they barked all night, AGAIN... So then mom and dad were up AGAIN...... I guess she forgets that she still has things she has to take care of.... But it's always been like amy to avoid the longer route of responsibility.... But when i'm actually doing something with my life a few years down the road i wonder.... will amy still be living at home? Probably but whatever the case Bob called me yesterday, I felt so bad for him bc i could tell he'd been crying and that makes me sooooo sad for him bc it's like i don't even know what to say to him anymore, bc i dont want to know amy or talk to her.... God i hate that i still even think about her... I wish she would just go away and i wouldnt have to think about her at all but you know how things go.... So Matt gets his tonsils out today.... :( So work's going good i've had a job for about a few weeks now, everyone i work with is real nice.... I'm supposed to have a meeting sunday which is good because the more time i can spend away from home, or aka amy the better.... I talked to dad about how i feel and how i really can't deal with the living situation anymore, so i've got to keep my job, save some money and prove that i can do this... And i know i can.... If it means not living at home, and with katie i'm bound to do almost anything.... Speaking of Katie she's working right now and we were supposed to go to the lake but unfortunatly kristen was going as well and i didnt' want to see another slut (i just dont think i could handle it) But seriously so i think katie and i are going to lay out and possibly go apartment shopping, who knows..... Back to sunday i'm supposed to go visit matt and take care of him (so cute) I never would have thought i would have a thing for him but i do, i really do. He's sooooo much like me in so many different aspects... He just puts a smile on my face, and i like that.... We talked abotu how we both don't like fighting, and that we both need time with our friends and all that mumbo jumbo.... I think things will progress steadily into something more but we'll see.... So sam and taylor's room, i haven't talked about it in awhile, but i oooo so very much enjoy their room.... SUPER BADASS!!!! And i hear that kyleen and lauren left, that sucks... OR does it... I knew the last time kyleen and i got off the phone we wouldnt be talking again, and after that whole incident i knew that us not talking would only create bitterness and shit like that... So it's cool, hope things are good for them, but i can't imagine ever being close to kyleen. And lauren that's a WHOLE different story.. Lauren has always been the one to follow what other people do, i remember a few times i would say something totally rediculous just to see her agree with me.... But whatever... People change, hope they do.... Anyhow I'm gonna go get in the shower and get myself together!
::

.:Anna blogged on 10:33 AM:.
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.:Wednesday, July 23, 2003:.

:: Staci, bring on the chicken? are you in second grade????? How many boyfriends have you had really, because one it looks like you've been beatin with an ugly stick, two you are just UGLY three you have ONE OF THE WORST PERSONALITIES EVER.... ummmm 4 god just thinkign about you makes me want to vomit...... p.s my sister is the ugly's little sidekick man that sucks... shes sooo cool in all, dammit why can't i be like them? hey amy you want some beer so you can lie to our parents some more about you're petty little life..... ::

.:Anna blogged on 12:36 PM:.
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.:Tuesday, July 22, 2003:.

::THIS BLOG IS FROM STAC I EVERYONE:
Anna thinks I am fake and that really bothers me. Amy is so brainfarted with everything. And Blane has his buddies and then Lisa well she doesn't want to talk to me. Derrick has his friends. And everyone else lives elsewhere. Then I have my acquaintences. Not really worth anything when you don't know really what to say. AUGH!! Can I just crawl in a hole? Gotta read my homework and get some rest

# posted by Staci @ 10:45 PM

Uh Anna didn't show up either even if she did though I might not have noticed# posted by Staci @ 9:35 PM

Actually Staci I don't just think you're fake, I think you're RUDE, you don't think about things that come out of you're mouth before you say them....

O and AMY maybe you can talk to staci about how bad it hurts to have you're heart broken then maybe next time you think about being with blane you'll remember what bob's going through.....::

.:Anna blogged on 12:37 PM:.

::Honestly I can't wait to move out..... I CAN'T wait to get OUT of this house, and what's sad is it's really NOT BECAUSE of my parents or katy but my other sister.... I thought this was going to be sooo cool but now I can't even look at my sister anymore without wanting to vomit. She found these new group of friends and i'm sitting here grossed out of the idea of it at all... You know what from reading amy's blog bob may not have had a right for callign her a slut HOWEVER if you leave someone of three years and turn into a huge monster that believes you can go get it on with who you want, and ALSO that you can become a HUGE HYPOCRITE by not paying bills THAT I KNOW SHE OWES HIM..... I mean we all know amy promised she would pay bob but really it's all about sucking up to her new friends... GOD BLANE AND STACEY ARE SOOOOO COOL..... Like wow they go to happy hour and drink and go to the river, and yeah it's like sooooo coool..... We have like THE BEST TIMES.... Let me put my happy pants on and like go to sleep bc yeah that's cool...... Listen this stuff just happens i dont care if amy and i are by sister's by blood whatever bc sistership friendship goes down deeper than that.... Yeah i can be related to someone and not like who they are... I just want to chill with my friends move out and never have to deal with any of this EVER AGAIN.... My sister has turned into someone i dont know anymore, and i dont want to know her...... Not anymore....::

.:Anna blogged on 12:18 PM:.
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.:Monday, July 21, 2003:.

::Well tonight really did it for me with my sister.... I mean i'm just sick, I'm sick with how she dumps me, I'm sick of how she acts fake to me, and I'm sick that the cool sister I had totally walked out of my life for a "New Life an Friends." Well hope it's worth it...... Bc the one true friend that's ALWAYS been in you're life is ME and what's gonna happen when you need me the next time??? I don't know I'm soooo sick of all of this gayness it just wears me out.... Life is sooo crazy why can't people just BE HAPPY who cares if something small happens, GET OVER IT AND MOVE ON.... REAL FRIENDSHIP really isn't about all those little things and it's about getting past the big ones..... Life isn't permanent so what's the point of living you're life like it is? I've really thought about how I'm not friends with Kyleen anymore, it's wierd... Sometimes i think back to how kyleen would just sit at my house for hours and do our thing.... It seemed like i was the outlet that kyleen needed sometime and i needed her just the same.... Sometimes i catch myself just thinking about something kyleen and i did and then i'll dismiss it like it was something to regret.... You can't change the past only create the future.... So I dunno things were meant to be like this i guess, otherwise i'd say they'd be different.... Well i'm gonna go get some food and then try to sleep..... tah tah::

.:Anna blogged on 1:51 AM:.
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.:Sunday, July 20, 2003:.

::Hmmm I wish i didn't know what it felt like to be decieved...... But i do... I mean everyone knows the biggest thing i consider important is doing what you say you're gonna do.... I dont know..... Anyways Katie is on vacation and i miss her soooo much.... Well time out actually she's at cheerleading camp that crazy douche.... Anyways i can't wait to see her!!!! Mamma sam is downstairs in the Shower!!!! SCRUB DUB DUB!!!!! Gotta love my momma... Speaking of momma.... THE ROOM IS SOOOO BAD ASS!!!!!!! I LOVE ALL THE FURNITURE AND THE WALLS!!!!! Ok calm down, can't handle the room!!! SLUMBER PARTY!!!!! Ok well I'm out like a fat trout! Holla!::

.:Anna blogged on 10:25 PM:.
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.:Wednesday, July 16, 2003:.

::Hello Hello everyone..... So I've been so worn out, possibly from sam and taylor's new 6 footer!!!! They're room is almost finished and the carpet got in today!!! Katy and I have to start looking for apartments real real real soon.... Amy moved home, thats about all the new news thats going on today.... Other than katy lets get our boots on and visit denton tonight..... Everyone have a great day!!!!::

.:Anna blogged on 4:01 PM:.
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.:Thursday, July 10, 2003:.

::Tonight has been a total and complete DISASTER and i mean that.... DISASTER..... I have never been so PISSED off in my life.... First off Amy somehow gets me to go to Blanes with her.... Ok so i decide to go thinking hey i'll be back in a hour or so NO BIG DEAL... Well Amy decides to take her sweet goddamn time doing blanes hair... BLAH BLAH BLAH.... Well real cool amy bc it's REALLY ALL ABOUT YOU.... I cannot believe how fucking drunk amy is RIGHT NOW.... IT BOGGLES MY MIND THAT SHE WAS SO GAY TONIGHT.... And real cool that you come outside after blanes hair is done to tell me you ooo love me sooo much blah blah blah... Well SAVE IT AMY bc I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT SHE ALLOWED BLANE AND HIS FRIENDS MAKE ME FEEL SOOOO STUPID!!!! So whatever this is real cool my sister comes HOME on saturday to live here and i dont even want to deal with it.... It's so gay bc amy's done this to me once so i know what it feels like, EXAMPLE... When jen moved in Amy dropped me like i was hot so she could chill with jen, well jen's out WHO'S BACK IN HAPPILY?! Anna.... Ok real cool, bc NOW Amy has fake fake stacey to be there for her and OOO EVEN BETTER BLANE..... And SHE ALLOWED THEM TO WALK ALL OVER ME, then it's cool to let this crazy stalker take me to POPEYES CHICKEN, it's not like she really wanted to drop what she was doing and TAKE ME HOME.... BULLSHIT ITS ALL BULLSHIT.... SO FUCK ALL THAT SHIT......
On a better note lets all pray for Oscar, Rasta and GINNIE.... They're all really sick....
Ooo and last night KATY, hunny what a party it was yeah AMAZING!!!! WOO HOO::

.:Anna blogged on 10:25 PM:.
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.:Monday, July 07, 2003:.

::I LOVE AMY PETERS WITH ALL OF MY HEART!!!!!::

.:Anna blogged on 7:36 PM:.

::Well i hope everyone had a WONDERFUL fourth of july!!!! AHHHHH sweet memories of drinking games, jen puking, me running into the house trying to get greg to find a pot..... "Anna I can't move" "Me neither" Needless to say the fourth was quite a bit of fun.... Actually this whole week has been fun..... I swear katie and i have been on this HUGE drinking fiesta, which is cool.... Heather just got back in town from N.Y, and hopefully now we plan the hawaiian safari..... Katy and i were coming home to her house to crash the other night and father tom woke up and thought we were the whataburger bandits..... I dont know, but it was really funny..... Amy and Bob are still not talking.... She's supposed to move home soon, but i'm not quite sure when. We're all happy to have her come home... So i STILL Don't have a job, which is all great blah blah blah except for the fact that i don't have any money.....
Sam and Taylor got one of the most amazing bongs I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE..... I CANNOT EXPLAIN how people make pieces like that! Speaking of awesome, let's talk about sam and tt's new room... HOORAY... all i can say is jason is an amazing bad ass to be able to paint like he can.... I can't wait to see the new shag carpet and all of the wonderful new furniture and the walls when they're done.... GIRL SLUMBER PARTY!!!!!!! Glad we got that accomplished.... Ok well i'm gonna try to clean my room, eat, get some pictures developed ummm get a job? nah.... adios::

.:Anna blogged on 2:46 PM:.
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.:Thursday, July 03, 2003:.

::So i just got home..... Amy and I went over to Blane's apt to chill this evening... And what's cool about all that is Blane himself is pretty damn hot, and along with his younger brother who is also really hot, AND ASIDE all the beer we were all drinking we had a bad ass time.... So that's all chill.... I really need to fix my hair, aside from the porn star yellow and the high c orange this shit has to go..... Amy congrats on a job well done...... So last night... QUITE interesting... As we all know tt is NOW 18!!! HOLLA.... But we had a really really good time getting completely trashed.... Katy and i put our crazy pants on and let her rip..... TO END A LONG story everything turned out bad ass, and i'm completely trashed so i'm gonna go... Hope everything is good for everyone.... till then ::

.:Anna blogged on 12:04 AM:.
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.:Tuesday, July 01, 2003:.

::Heather Good job on finding the damned FLYING SQUIRREL!!!!!!
TAYLOR, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
EVERYONE HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!!!!!
My hair is crazy.... word
::

.:Anna blogged on 12:51 PM:.
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.:Monday, June 30, 2003:.

::Hola como estas? Well today is ummm Monday? That means July 4th is coming on strong and soon!!! Too bad none of us will be together to celebrate america's independence day..... cough cough..... NO big deal... Burrito has already planned this naval friend deal thing, where i guess all of his naval comrades will venture together and celebrate about the old days or whatever..... Drink some beer, thats always fun. So my dad got his harley... He looks sooooo cute on it, and ITS SOOOOO LOUD!!!!! He really thinks it's funny to get up at 7 in the morning and go riding... I hope he grows out of this early morning stage shit because it's really getting in the way of my sleeping habits.... But still i'm glad he got his harley so we can work through this mid life crisis deal..... So I got pretty drunk last night. I was just chilling at amy's and i was like tonights a good night to get drunk. So i opened the bottle of captain and threw myself a fiesta..... See thats what i used to like about lauren, she was always up for drinking with me. I mean it was fun, it was supposed to be summer, blah blah blah..... I can't believe that things have just kinda molded themselves like this.... But whatever i'm gonna go clean... nice little blog break...::

.:Anna blogged on 12:42 PM:.
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.:Saturday, June 28, 2003:.

::Oh yeah life goes on
Long after the thrill of livin is gone::

.:Anna blogged on 12:06 PM:.
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.:Thursday, June 26, 2003:.

::Ok i know i'm a girl and this song talks about a boy but i really really liked it

Good morning, son.
I am a bird
Wearing a brown polyester shirt
You want a coke?
Maybe some fries?
The roast beef combo's only $9.95
It's okay, you don't have to pay
I've got all the change

Everybody knows
It hurts to grow up
And everybody does
It's so weird to be back here
Let me tell you what
The years go on and
We're still fighting it, we're still fighting it
And you're so much like me
I'm sorry

Good morning, son
In twenty years from now
Maybe we'll both sit down and have a few beers
And I can tell you 'bout today
And how I picked you up and everything changed
It was pain
Sunny days and rain
I knew you'd feel the same things

Everybody knows
It sucks to grow up
And everybody does
It's so weird to be back here.
Let me tell you what
The years go on and
We're still fighting it, we're still fighting it
You'll try and try and one day you'll fly
Away from me

Good morning, son
I am a bird

It was pain
Sunny days and rain
I knew you'd feel the same things

Everybody knows
It hurts to grow up
And everybody does
It's so weird to be back here.
Let me tell you what
The years go on and
We're still fighting it, we're still fighting it
Oh, we're still fighting it, we're still fighting it

And you're so much like me
I'm sorry
::

.:Anna blogged on 11:14 PM:.

::Hey glad to see my blog is working again... For awhile all i got was this screen that said we're updating you're blog to the new more improved blogger... Yeah that got kinda old bc i've had some things to say that i havent been able to say. Actually i almost resorted to writing in microsoft word and then copy and pasting it into my blog.... Yeah well shit happens... So dum du dum du..... So i find it funny that this whole aaron thing blew up into this big bullshit drama ordeal.. BUT GO FIGURE... I MIGHT have understood if something had happened with me and aaron but i mean what can you do, people bitch and try to relate on some level of why people should understand where they're comign from... Anyways the drama keeps coming at me... Funny that SOMEONE called brittany and elyse and has been acting like me i guess? Hmmm sounds familiar; dont really care.... I probably shouldnt have said anything at all bc things like this normally get thrown back in my face bc i'm so "pyscho" and all..... But anyways... So lauren sent sam a text message last night, yeah i heard dont really know what that was all about, but nice that things couldnt but maybe would have liked to work with that whole deal..... Sounds like i'm a little frustrated but really i'm not. I havent had the chance to write down all the things going through my head in awhile.... So i think im gonna have to get a new car, because honestly my car is falling apart and the best idea for me right now is to get a new one... Basically i think i threw the tech idea out the window, it's just not my deal. I want to go somewhere to a certain extent where i dont know people, so i can learn grow and deal with shit as it comes to me. It's not like i'm gonna have friends that i know EVERYTHING about blah blah blah... It's just time to move on... On the other hand it would be really bad ass to stay here go to uta and get a apartment, bc katys looking for apartments and we could get a really bad ass one.... HOWEVER, i also really enjoy my sister's apartment and if i didnt enjoy the chill room so much i would move up over there..... So we'll see time is GOOD.... I cleaned my room like crazy yesterday, i dont know what hte deal is but i've been totally motivated to clean my room. I seriously dusted, vaccumed washed my sheets, blah blah blah... Anyways my room smells SOOOO good. And my dad's about to wash the el piece of shit so everything will be nice and clean... I really need to get that spot fixed on the back of my car where the paint chipped. It really looks bad at this point... So JOB HUNTING.... still need to do that... and i really want to watch troop beverly hills right now (thats a real classic) we'll call sam to see what shes doing in colorado so i can borrow it.... We'll as normal i'm out like toothpaste in a dental convention... OVER AND OUT::

.:Anna blogged on 4:28 PM:.
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.:Sunday, June 22, 2003:.

::Ok so i've been reading Harry Potter like a MANIAC..... Seriously i'm not gonna lie we got the book yesterday and i can't put it down.... It's HUGE..... But I have a feeling i'm gonna finish it real soon. Well last night Amy and I stopped by Sam and Tt's smoked a little bit then went by taco bueno for some munchie food..... Heather and Katy came by and we all smoked some more with anthony and his wierd friend..... But all in all we had a good time.... So today Amy and I were supposed to go to get some stuff done but it seems as though she has done and left the building..... But we'll see.... So Monday, i have to finally go to my eye doctor's appt.... I mean i have to do it... AND LET ME TELL YOU THAT I"M NOT LOOKING FOWARD TO IT..... I hate going to the eye doctor.... Like some people hate going to the dentist... ;) well not me the eye doctor sucks.... Anyhow, i also have to get my shot tomorrow.... No bueno..... Tuesday i have decided is get a job day... And it's also sam and tt go to colorado day... And wednesday is go to tech & midwestern to check out the las escuelas.... So yeah that's all good and great... I am soooo worn out and i need to get in the shower.... tah tah ::

.:Anna blogged on 1:47 PM:.
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.:Friday, June 20, 2003:.

::Well hello there everyone.... I was just unloading the dishwasher when i hit my head on the cabinets... AND IT HURT SOOOOO BAD.... I was just sitting there like ok i just hit my head and it hurts really really bad... AND ITS STILL HURTING.... So i talked to amy ealier and that really sucks about stacy (amy's friend) shes SOOOO Nice and that sucks that her and her boyfriend are splitting up.... But with time some things heal... So today is Friday which means Burrito is supposed to get his HARLEY!!!!! He went to the harley store and got himself the cutest little helmet.... The whole family is making him wear a helmet so he wont go and kill himself.... It's so cute to watch him in a way, because he's slowly getting all his get up gear blah blah blah... So we'll see if he gets it today or tomorrow.... So tyler came by yesterday and showed me his car... I really really like it, and it def. fits him so thats all cool and great. I talked to josh hank today, which is cool considering i really havent talked to him in FOREVER.... Well i'm gonna go and get ready for today.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 12:44 PM:.

::Well today.... is another great day... Things have been just amazing... Today Amy and I went up to the pet store and smoked with katy and heather, momma sam also attended.... I then ventured to Amy's were i was just sitting there chilling with her, when i looked over at her, and i was like wow i'm SO glad that i have one of the coolest sisters in the world.... I love amy with all my heart, and i'm sooooo glad that we're close.... So i went to katy's tonight and that was cool, we got to smoke (katy and i with our drinky drinky's) and then they ventured to a party out in denton which was cool, but i didnt want to go all the way out there so anyway, i ended up going back to amy's..... And now i'm sitting in my room, really tired actually wondering why i feel like i have alot of things to say and nothing's coming out.... So i guess i'm out like a fat trout.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 12:24 AM:.
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.:Thursday, June 19, 2003:.

:: Cynical and blinded and justifying you're insecurities..... I'm thinking theres a long road ahead.... But nothing at the end..... ::

.:Anna blogged on 1:55 PM:.
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.:Wednesday, June 18, 2003:.

::Slap that smile back on you're face, thats what the worth added up to be::

.:Anna blogged on 11:48 AM:.

::Another day, and i'm so unsuprisingly tired...... Hmmmmm.... I should probably go out and looking for a job, BUT that really doesnt sound like tooo much fun so i think i'll probably get into the shower get cleaned up and clean my room.... I really want to finish that painting i started awhile back, but it just takes sooo LONG and i need to get some new brushes for some parts. My mom and i have to figure out when we're gonna go visit tech and midwestern, i def. got into midwestern but if i go to tech i have to do 12 hours in the summer before the fall semester, and that sounds like ALOT of work, so i don't know that i'll be attending tech..... But who knows.... It's good to know i'm got in places blah blah blah... It's still something i care zero to talk about it, so i wonder why i'm still talking about it.... I'm sitting here at my computer and AMY has left 3 glasses of milk that she left here... THATS GROSS ames and i'm not cleaning amy's gross chocolate milk glasses..... I wish i had more windows in my room, i know thats random and all, but i really wish my room had more light in it... I mean in the morning its all great when i wake up and my room is real dark, but during the day i like lots of sunlight in my room.... Hmmmmm so i think i'm going to move on with the day bc i've got to get in the shower right meow..... ::

.:Anna blogged on 11:43 AM:.
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.:Tuesday, June 17, 2003:.

::Ok so i'm really tired today.... Well Heather and Katy just picked me up and we went on a safari mission to south east africa..... Not to mention the cat sitting next to me was infested with fleas..... But it was all chill just as long as those crazy fleas stuck to the cat.... It was kinda sad i do have to say probably because i dont like cats, NOT AT ALL.... But this cat in particular was pretty cute... SOOOO el noche.... I'm about to venture to Amy's but i can't get myself together because i'm sooooo tired, Katy wants to chill tonight but i haven't talked to sam SOOOOOOOOOO..... ringle jingle jangle....... Hope everyones evening goes as well as planned.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 2:47 PM:.

::Well last night was the Chili Peppers concert... WOO-HOO.... I went up to the pet store at like 630ish to go chill with heather and smoke a little before the concert, well katy informs me that i need to be ready by 730.... So I got to sit and chill with heather, amy and Samantha Boggs... She's really sweet, i was suprised.... I was also suprised to hear from sam that the diablo wasnt laurens... I always thought it was....Anyway i went back to my sisters got ready and met all the girls at sam's casa.... SO EVERYONE starts getting crazy.... AND I MEAN crazy everyone was drinking whatever, and everyone was soooo pumped for the concert. Well we get there and Sam Jen & Katy go off somewhere (those girls are crazy ;)) and brittany and i found omar so we sat and listened to some music with him, and before we knew it the CONCERT was over which kinda sucked bc the chili peppers are really good live..... OOOO yeah and i got this really cool black dude to buy brittany and i some drinks, HE DIDNT EVEN MAKE US PAY HIM ANYTHING!!!! That was super cool, yeah yeah.... Anyways after the concert was over we all went back to sam's to cause a little more trouble.... Jen and i went to get wendy's and katy ends up disappearing to god knows where, luckily we found her before we went back to katys.... Taylor, Sam, Brittini & Brandon i think ended up chilling over at sam's so jen katy drew and i went to katy's....WELL when i finally GET TO KATY"S........... whats she doing????? SHES COOKING FISH!!! It was SOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY.... So we all smoked, katy was absolutly crazy at that point... SHE GETS INTO A BOAT in her pool and starts going from one side to the other.... I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO PISS ALL OVER MYSELF....WE WERE ALL LAUGHING SO HARD... So i finally end up going home, have no idea what time i left katy's or how i got into my house.... But i must be really cool bc my cars still in the front of the house, not wrecked.... HOOOOOOOODY HOOOOOOOO....::

.:Anna blogged on 12:13 PM:.
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.:Monday, June 16, 2003:.

::Well things got crazy tonight... I'm sitting here typing on my computer totally suprised that i'm actually putting words into sentences.... So Heather, Sam, Katy and I decide to go see ziggy tonight... WELL hot damn we didnt' get in bc you had to be 21... Well we were all so excited and then we were like what now... Well the girls went and smoked at sam and tt's with the guys and then venture to seth's, but i figure why not go visit my sister.... After all Amy and i have been obsessed with finishing the chill/smoke room... We just added this bad ass tree that has leaves that look like little pot leaves... Its so cool... Anyhow I went to Amy's just so i could sit and talk and have some chill time before i got back to my casa.... I'm really sick of all this "talking" lately... EVERYTHING has been so blown out of control that i'm like is this really happening... It's like all in my head stuck here, and i'm just like I'm OK with everything falling apart, i know somewhere we all feel that way and knew it was gonna end up like this... I mean if its as big of a deal as IT SO CALLED SEEMS then good everyones better off not worrying or bitching.... BLAH BLAH BLAH...... ::

.:Anna blogged on 12:20 AM:.
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.:Sunday, June 15, 2003:.

::"Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in." Richard Jeni
"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake." Napoleon Bonaparte
"People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid." - Soren Aabye Kierkegaard
"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on." - Sir Winston Churchill
"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." - Martin Luther King Jr.
"I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves." - Ludwig Wittgenstein ::

.:Anna blogged on 11:53 AM:.

::Your mouth is like a suicide
Talkin like you never died::

.:Anna blogged on 11:35 AM:.

::"The Beautiful People"

I don't want you and I don't need you
don't bother to resist, I'll beat you
It's not your fault that you're always wrong
the weak ones are there to justify the strong

the beautiful people, the beautiful people
it's all relative to the size of your steeple
you can't see the forest for the trees
you can't smell your own shit on your knees

Hey you, what do you see?
something beautiful, something free?
hey you, are you trying to be mean?
if you live with apes man, it's hard to be clean

there's no time to discriminate,
hate every motherfucker
that's in your way
the worms will live in every host
it's hard to pick which one they eat most

the horrible people, the horrible people
it's as anatomic as the size of your steeple
capitalism has made it this way,
old-fashioned fascism will take it away::

.:Anna blogged on 11:34 AM:.

::Well this is probably going to be one of those blogs that i'll hear about later.... Whatever the case this is what i have to say.... Yea i'm pretty pissed at the moment.... I can't believe that people "hear" things and then expect them to be true... First off why call me when you're NOT my friend, just because its easier hanging out with new ppl!!!! So don't call me now TRYING to be my friend just to find out something that YOU WANT TO BE TRUE...... I mean high schools over and the BULLSHIT IS STILL GOING ON.... I say FUCK OFF.... You can talk shit all you want about me whatever but you're wasting you're own time... bc while some people still choose to talk all those little talks, thats how this shit gets brought up. BY FUCKING PEOPLE TALKING.... YOU START talking about something and expect it not to come back to you.... And you like to blame it on other PEOPLE but sorry i'm not taking the blame for something you started yourself.... You told SO MANY PEOPLE and then told all of them well don't tell its my little secret... and i respect that bc it is you're business....BUT SORRY people will talk, hard lesson for you to learn, sorry you havent yet... AND dont think it doesnt happen to you in the real world because it does..... ABOUT EVERYTHING..... EVERYONE TALKS ABOUT EVERYONE and heres to you bc you make it or break it.... REALITY CHECK i always saw this happening.... But whatever.... IT'S so typical it can't be suprising.... HERES THE REAL DEAL, im not gonna say the name just out of respect for this person... But how do you expect people not to notice, question, and talk???? HUH??? OR are you just looking for a reason to be mad and pissed at someone you're NOT EVEN FRIENDS WITH.... The shit hit the fan, go figure.... This is so much bullshit so here's to the last of it....
::

.:Anna blogged on 11:22 AM:.
...

.:Saturday, June 14, 2003:.

::Well yesterday I went to pet store and fell in love with the CUTEST pug i've ever seen in my life. I brought him home to show my parents and on the way back he fell asleep in my lap!!! It was sooo cute, well heather planned on going to this country concert with katy, steve, john and steves sister.... AND somehow she got me to go.... Now everyone who knows me knows that I don't normally do country.... So we get there and get into this HUGE crowd of people jumping up and down and flashing everyone and lets be honest it gets sooooo Hot when there are crowds of people going crazy.....So i'm about to pass out and katy and i go up to the top to find some more beverages.... Well we end up having guys come up to us one after another to sit and talk and drink whatever.... I ended up having a really good time, along with that there were some real hot guys there as well and thats always a plus....
So Amy thanks for waking me up SUPER early today... Yeah i enjoyed that one... All i wanted to do was sleep and Amy just keeps on calling the cell then the house, then the cell then the house, blah blah blah blah blah..... So i'm awake now even though I'M SOOOO TIRED.....
Oooo yeah and i got into midwestern.... thats cool...... ::

.:Anna blogged on 10:15 AM:.
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.:Thursday, June 12, 2003:.

::I haven't blogged in awhile... I guess after awhile you find the truth whether it gets reversed or ignored.... Whatever.... I sit here and i know people are gonna read this. It's not that i'm putting on a show for people to read, like those were ever my intentions.... I remember when this first started getting popular people would write in these things just because they knew in the back of their heads that people would in fact read them.... Then there were a few of us that would keep writing just to get shit out of our heads. Because let's be honest after you write in these you're putting truth or you're feelings online to get out for yourself.... Then we saw people writing shit like if you don't like it don't read it... And i guess to a certain degree i agree with that. On the contrary If you're gonna post it online i think it's a matter of time before people want to read a blog that may have something "juicy" to read so they can criticize and talk about the shit you've written that actually MEANT something to you.... I mean that's how it goes right... We've got people preaching up and down a storm about how real and anti high school bullshit, (and this goes for everyone at chhs) they are... I guess there really has to come a time when you yourself have to rise above all that and realize hey i'd rather not have any friends then one's who care too much about popularity. I know theres been alot of drama recently yeah it sucks... But I'm sitting here going well all you can do is try and then after that it becomes ridiculous to think and keep trying to make things work... Bc real friends just are friends, there a part of you everyday.... There's something about them that radiates a glow that makes you want to chill with them and that in its self is why things work. I guess what this means to me in its own integrity is that i'm gonna sit here continuing doing what i'm doing and try to be happy every continious day. I can't help what's out of my hands, and i can't tell you what i think is right... And i might not understand or like the way people do things, but i'll respect it, bc obviously it means something to them... But all I can say for myself is why keep yourself unhappy and upset when you can be happy. Life is a gift meant to live to the fullest. Sometimes shit doesn't make sense and sometimes life throws you blows that you don't think you can get back up from. The true character of a person is not measured on how you deal with the blows life gives you, it's how you get back up from them. It's not worth my time to sit and talk about all the things that could have been or how i wish things would be. Things will happen how they were meant to happen and in reality there's nothing we can do about that.... I just want to move on from everything that's happened through this whole year and know well here's summer it was good while it lasted and when the time comes for me to leave to know I tried to be happy. Things can never be as bad as they seem, and as bad as they may be, they can only get better.... People choose how they live they're lives daily and i guess it's comfortable to feel included in something you may not be happy in. The whole point of me writing this blog is for me to say I dont care anymore. I don't care if you don't like me, I don't care if you want talk shit about me behind my back or to my face.... Bc heres the time when i say ok, and nothing else.... Words are only words and nothing else... You choose yourself how you use them.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 10:16 AM:.
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.:Wednesday, June 04, 2003:.

::yeah we've got another 4 in the am wake-up.... Do i sleep? Yeah right.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 5:00 AM:.
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.:Tuesday, June 03, 2003:.

::Hmmm..... My phone didn't come yesterday.... And Lauren "went out of her way to inform" me that Aaron has been talking shit about me to kyleen, lauren, and whitney.... I dont know why she made it such a big deal when this whole situation isn't a big deal, and it's NOT like we've been together for a long time or anything, OR TOGETHER AT ALL FOR THAT MATTER... It just doesnt really make sense... I could imagine the whole situation taking place during the period of time where i wouldnt have anything to do with him, this whole possiblity of aaron and i happening is just like a few days in the process.... So i dont know what's going nor do i care... THIS ISNT THAT BIG OF A DEAL TO ME.... So i'm not dealing with it, this is drama shit that people KNOW i dont like and that i DONT like to deal with.....
So moving on, I need to get a job Super bad... I Mean i'm not gonna lie I really need a job. My dad has been harrassing me now for awhile to get a job, but I DONT know why i need a job i'm only keeping it for 3 months and then leaving... SO WHATEVER... ::

.:Anna blogged on 10:56 AM:.
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.:Monday, June 02, 2003:.

:: DESSERPEDGNIEBETAHI::

.:Anna blogged on 10:46 PM:.

::throw away the radio suitcase
that keeps you awake
hide the telephone in case, you
realize that sometimes you're not okay
you level off but its not all right now
you need to understand
there's nothing strange about this
you need to know your friends
I'll be waving my hand watching you drown
watching you scream
quiet or loud

maybe you should sleep
maybe you just need a friend
as clumsy as you've been
there's no one laughing
you will be safe in here

Throw away this very old shoelace
that tripped you again
try and shrug it off
it's only skin now
you need to understand
there's nothing fake about this
you need to let me in
I'm watching you
::

.:Anna blogged on 10:11 PM:.

::Change
I've watched you change
Into a fly
I looked away
You were on fire
I watched a change
In you
It's like you never
Had wings
Now you feel
So Alive
I've watched you change
I took you home
Set you on the glass
I pulled off your wings
Then I laughed
I watched a change
In you
It's like you never
Had wings
Now you feel
So alive
I've watched you change
It's like you never
Had wings ahhh ahh ahhh
I look at the cross
Then I look away
Give you the lungs to
Blow me away
I've watched a change
In you
It's like you never
Had wings
Now you feel
So Alive
I've watched you change.
Now you feel Alive
You Feel Alive
I've watched you change
It's like you never
Had wings ahhh ahh ahhh
::

.:Anna blogged on 10:09 PM:.

::I mean you know you're an insomniac when you go to sleep at 2 of 3 and you wake up at 7.... I dont know i have so much going on in my HEAD RIGHT NOW... I seriously feel like im about to have one of the worse anxiety attacks.... But whatever.. Wow Amy good call, really know you're gonna be there when i need you.... Typical... Anyhow so i really dont have anything to say but i feel like i need to write something.... I talked to Lauren last night and that ended with me just wanting to cry, and then something happened to lauren recently were she made me actually feel special by saying what a secret it was, but funny because sam already knew..... I dont know... Its just like i'm sick of bullshit, i mean lauren was like yeah anna i miss you blah blah blah, but i knwo laurens happy where she is... Its not like she actually misses her old friends but more than that it's not ABOUT THAT, because we SHOULD ALL BE ABLE TO HANG OUT AND THINGS BE CHILL!!!!
WHAT SUCKS IS NONE OF US HANG OUT ANYMORE... And i mean what the fuck because this IS ALL SO GAY!!!!! I MEAN this is HIGH SCHOOL BULLSHIT... AND its not worth it, its just not worth it... We're all go to college in 3 months and what a gay ass way to spend it being mad at someone or just plain not talking to them JUST BECAUSE.... THIS SHIT LIKE I SAID SUCKS.....
Sam, TT and I might go to colorado, or did we decide that we're just not going to go anymore.... I dont know i have alot of shit on my mind and i can't figure out if i want to go to colorado and sit and think about good things or stay here and stay close to my parents...
Speaking of parents mine have been real gay lately.. Well my dad anyways, hes just been a raging jack ass and i dont know... Things feel like they're not working and i can't figure out how to stay happy..... So blah blah blah because i'm wide fucking awake and i'm tired.... this sucks::

.:Anna blogged on 6:07 AM:.
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.:Sunday, June 01, 2003:.

::Hmmm, i'm in an odd situation.... It seems like so much change has happened in the past week. First Lauren and I stopped talking, then I didn't hear from any of those girls, sam and I started hanging out again... Which i am really happy about don't get me wrong... But like i said change is change.... I'm glad Lauren and I worked things out, mostly bc I really do care about Laurens friendship.... I don't know..... Things are just wierd.... Obviously I need to address this whole Aaron situation... Odd to say the least.... It's all so wierd and just started happening fast and I'm sitting here confused and wondering what I might have gotten myself into... First off when Aaron first started calling me i was like this is a joke, really a big joke. I wouldnt' pick up the phone when he'd call, basically i avoided him because i figured he just wanted a "Piece of ass..." So a few weeks went by with Aaron still calling and I started to feel really bad because he would call and i would obviously Blow him off like it wasnt anything....Then i guess the other night at sam and taylors we talked... He said alot of stuff that made me think, and I dont know.... Obviously I care sooo much about Kyleen.... I'm really confused because the whole time im thinking about possibly having something with Aaron I think abotu her... Bc i dont want to be an Amy Brown to her... Kyleen and i have been through alot to say the least... And i mean that.... It's just wierd, because I dont know where i stand with her and honestly i dont know whether to talk to her about it or not... Because really whats that going to prove?? I mean how stupid is that, if you have to ask you're just making yourself look like an ass..... ::

.:Anna blogged on 6:38 PM:.
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.:Thursday, May 29, 2003:.

::another day of chaos.... that's really all i have to say about today... Yesterday Sam and TT had a bomb ass party over here and it was cool to just sit and drink with everyone... THAT IS until ian and dustin started talking and wouldnt stop... I mean no lie, Ian is so Opinionated he makes me want to vomit sometimes.... Other than that he's a real nice guy.... Dustin on the other hand can just plain talk until the sun comes up... about ANYTHING.... It's half way rediculous but then on the other hand dustin is one of the NICEST guys... So Amy and TT are really really sick.... But my sister seems to think that she's come down with a case of the sars.... OOOO shucks... So back to the drama of today.... Well i really enjoyed watching the cops TAKE all of sam and tt's PIPES, BUBBLERS, BONGS and Hooka.... It was a sad day at the voskamp house... NOW A MOMENT OF SILENCE... take a few to sit and remember the good times with you're favorite piece of the 17..... So momma sam is watching return to the blue lagoon.... That girl is crazy.... And we're all pulling for taylor since hes come down with a case of the sars as well.... JK... Seriously.... So Hmmmm, last night.. ODD.... I wonder how i really feel about that..... The bitch next door is def. still PYSCHO..... OOOOOOOOOOO WAIT A TICK... here's the deal... The cops forgot one very important piece..... Tt's cali pipe.... TOO Sneaky for the narcotics team i guess..... Hmmmm, so i really dont know why all this gay shit is still going on with lauren lauren kyleen whit, (which i shouldnt even include them all bc the drama lays with lauren) I just want us ALL to be friends... I dont want to have to deal with this gay ass shit... I really wouldnt be all that pissed of with lauren if she hadnt ASSUMED that sam and i were talkign fucking shit about her.... I MEAN GIVE ME A FUCKIGN BREAK LAUREN... I JUST GOT 700 DOLLARS STOLEN FROM ME..... I wasnt really thinking about who i could be mad at or who i could talk ABOUT....... I mean for gods sake you would bring sam up more than she would even mention you're name... Lauren doesnt it make sense that if i dont talk shit about sam then i'm probably not going to be talking about YOU???? I guess thats why i think this is all so silly.... So like i've always said and agreed with kyleen... Friendships are true when they just work because they work.... So maybe its time like i said to give things a break and try to make them work on theyre own.... SO i think i'm gonna go home now bc taylor and sam are starting to get into the movie which means i should probably go home and act like i'm not super depressed... BLAH BLAH BLAH.... THings have really sucked lately... AND i'm wondering... WHEN ARE THEY GOING TO GET BETTER??? WHO KNOWS..... only time will tell.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 8:59 PM:.
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.:Tuesday, May 27, 2003:.

::Don't try to reach me, I'm already dead
The pain when it grips me, for things that I've done

Well I try to make you proud, but for crying out loud
Just give me a chance to hide away
Exhaustion takes over, will this someday be over?
*********************************************************

I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all adds up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
to give and die

To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
more deeply than the oceans,
more abundant than the tear
Of a world embracing every heartache

Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow

To want you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees

All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me

Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart

I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
take my world apart
::

.:Anna blogged on 9:17 AM:.

::Life is a mixture of ups and downs and the true character of a person
lies not with how they handle the mundane, but how they respond to
adversity.
You are a talented young woman, with a fierce pride and an incredible
desire to succeed. A simple person would become mad/bitter at the
world and stay that way. If you are angry because someone has done
something to you, great! Anger is a good thing, but not when it
becomes overwhelmingly important and lasts for too long a time.

Today, your mom and I are busy putting back the pieces: contacting
Verizon Wireless to get another phone - contacting State Farm to see if they
will cover the loss. Who knows? They may cover the entire amount. The
locks on the house have been changed and you will get your new license today.
(The picture may even be better!)

We can put all things back together. Be uplifted by the fact that you
have a great many people in this world that love you very much. Never let
the thieves take that thought away from you. Instead of the anger, be
rejuvenated by the love. Strike back! Engage your self in finding a
job and getting on with your life. Don't forget to write your thank you
cards. Some bad person took your money, but some very nice people
gave you that money. They need to know that you appreciate them.
It WILL be okay. I promise.
Love,

Dad
::

.:Anna blogged on 9:14 AM:.
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.:Monday, May 26, 2003:.

::I have alot to say but i'm a little off right now and I KNOW putting forth the effort to make this blog seem logical is going to be one tuff mission... So we'll try anyways... SO i'm TRYING to forget about the $720 that was stolen from me... Man that really sucked... I dont really know what to say about it other than if i hear about someone jacking shit I think i might just hit you in the face.... That shit's gay, NOT WORTH it and just plain SHITTY... So whatever despite my feelings of desperate attempt to want to kill and torture the culprit who jacked MY SHIT I asked my family to pray for the people who did it.... Bc i dont care how big of a bitch you may be to me but I dont want to see ANYBODY's shit jacked.... That just sucks.... But whatever life goes on....
NEW TOPIC: but important...
I don't know what the deal is... Last night i stopped by whitneys with sam and amy.... Well it was cool seeing everybody and just chilling but things with lauren and i have changed.... I mean we all know it, and i think lauren knew it too... I think we clung to each other really tight, JUST because... And thats not what friendship is about, bc we were trying hard to make ends meet keeping the whole friendship thing mended... Obviously didnt work..... But here's how i feel... Sam Lauren and I used to be INSEPERABLE.... I mean we were ALWAYS together... And it just worked.... Well things kinda got wierd with sam, and i felt like she was always mad at me so i would chill with lauren because i really liked lauren and we had FUN together.... But lauren and i have been hanging out so much lately it just went down hill. I would kid with lauren and she would take it seriously, then someone would be mad at someone... And i would end up just wanting to leave and forget about it... Meanwhile amy and i got into a fight so lauren and i really chilled 24/7 blah blah blah... And now i guess i'm just sick of feeling pushed around... I mean i would go out of my way to do something cool or chill... and it sucks because lauren would never recognize it... I mean i drive everywhere and am totally COOL about lauren spending the night bc we can come home later at my house, but little shit like that is whats cool, and after awhile it just went unrecognized....I felt like i was tryign really hard to make things work when its easier to let them go and if you know its REAL then it will just WORK OUT... I'm not mad, upset, pissed, ANYTHING... i just feel like well this sucks.... And i dont know what to do... I'm sick of things always being layed on me, then it being left badly with harsh feelings... I mean like i was sooo emotional yesterday, naturally... But really emotional and i was like Lauren why are you trying to fight with me when my day has been so bad... I DIDNT WANT TO DEAL WITH IT... and lauren reply's with, stop talkign to me like im a four year old... WELL i was trying not to YELL so i didnt get yelled at for yelling... SERiOUSLy i was just trying to stay calm and WORK Things out and shit like that is exactly what im talking about.... So I know its really NOT worth dealing with bc if its meant to be then it will, and for the meantime its gonna be a nice break for the BOTH of us.... Denying that might be trying to ignore the truth when its staring you in the face.... I need to add that I know that i cherish laurens friendship, I've had alot of good times, its just you have to know when its time to give things a break......
Well i ended up writing a novel, i'm sure i have a few mispelled words, i'll blame that on the green.....
Something to Remember: John Z.... "Anna dont have harsh feelings to people, there are still good people in this world...."
Stealing=Not Cool
Harvy=Gone, damn the MAN!!!
GInnie=sick
Graduation Money=Stolen
KMK concert=Tomorrow
Anna is=excited
KMK=Bad ass
Gum is=Damn good
My dad=getting a harley
I think=mid life crisis
I need=a job
I am=tired
Miso=still alive
Sam's hair=Looks cool
Time to=go and sleep....

Tah tah for the evening...lets hope no one steals my car!!!! :) KMK tomorrow... YEE-HAW!!!!! BAD ASS::

.:Anna blogged on 10:50 PM:.
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.:Thursday, May 22, 2003:.

::So today Kyleen and I bombed Mrs. Fawcett's exam then decided to go get some lunch... So we venture to whitneys ;) ooo and who was there??? and who forgot to say BYE?? Cassidy... O well probably better that she chooses to "stay out of the drama" we wouldnt want her to have to deal with that, after all she still has another WHOLE year in front of her.... So you snooze you loose.... I think it's kinda heroic, the whole situation is.... LISTEN IM NOT Embarrased that I've talked alot of shit to cassidy bc it's about time that she learns that she can't be fake to people, there's some people who can hack it and others that WONT...
Anyways, today was the last day of school... HOORAY.... no more fake bitches that i'll have to see in the hall.... But i will miss the sweet stoner boys.... Ok ladies, i'll see you're sweet ass' later this evening... I've got to get ready... RIGHT MEOW........
THIS weekend is going to be SOOO Bad ass... HOO-RA::

.:Anna blogged on 5:00 PM:.
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.:Tuesday, May 20, 2003:.

::Yeah here's how i feel about my life right now.... I really dont care if my sister thinks shes trying to "help me out" or "teach me a lesson." Amy you as a person should know that confrontation is always happening.... AND by you trying to put yourself in that position you're CREATING DRAMA... SO STOP... Bc i KNOW exactly how you are... If things dont go your way or you just want to feel sorry for yourself you'll COMPLAIN to whoever will listen.. FOR GOD SAKES you hate people you dont even know.... SO before you try to give me a lesson check you're own shit out.... And you're right do i care??? NOPE not about drama... you should know that.... SO get over this huge adult trip....
People who really know me know that i really dont stay mad about alot of things... Like i'm not afraid to stand up for myself.... NOT at all... If you're goign to bring drama to my face you better be able to deal with what im gonna say.... Bc i'm not some gay ass who can't stand up for what i believe is right and not tell you what i really think... AND I DONT CARE if you think it's wrong, great bc that's YOU'RE opinion.... I've got a whole lot ahead of me in LIFE and I'm def. GOING to do something with it, so dramatic gay ass' leave ME ALONE..... BC i'm not about to put up with you're shit now.....
Last night we all went on the boat... And i love all those girls, those girls and i have become like a big group of really good friends, and i like that.. I like that we all relate to each other, we all share the same interests ;) and things just go smoothly.. BUT LAST NIGHT i will NEVER forget what happened... EVER.... I understand that it didnt make sense for a few but things like that are a REALLY BIG DEAL TO ME... You dont just add while we're talkign about something... O YEA ive done that too.... So what happened yesterday really really really hurt me and i WILL NEVER FORGET IT.... I can't even begin to deal with shit like that... SO if this changes things i'm sorry.... YOU have REAL friends who are honest and THOSE who aren't..... AND like i said i dont stay mad about shit like this... BUT for now i just need to deal with it.... SUCKS, as you would say, "What a bummer....."
Anyhow, on a better note we really did have a bad ass time on the boat... I mean yesterday was a good change up.... IT was funny when i busted out the pritchie mix, "i want my ass smacked, front and back, side to side, slip and slide." hahahhah..... OOO and when kyleen and i jumped in going 35 holy MOTHER.... Yeah knocked the wind out of me, but glad to say i did it... I've always wanted to do that.... Ahhh mother good times.....
Yeah I'm sore, and kinda sick so i'm out to download some good music.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 10:31 AM:.
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.:Sunday, May 18, 2003:.

::I really hate people that act like they need all the newest and coolest trend shit.... I mean it's just out of hand... I just read my sister's blog and i'm just like... well i was like this is gay.... SO now i'm saying and leaving it at this.... MY SISTER and I obviously can't hang out too much... BC when we do after awhile she just throws our friendship around.... I mean it was just really gay when i come home and amy's all pissed off from ihop... blah blah blah and i know she runs into tell mom and dad just how mean her little sister is.... And i know this bc when i told my dad what i was going to do he didn't really want to talk to me... SO I'm pissed and im just not going to deal with it.... but i needed to get that out... ::

.:Anna blogged on 12:40 AM:.
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.:Thursday, May 15, 2003:.

::There comes a time in your life when you realize... IT'S REALLY NOT ABOUT WHO LIKES YOU AND WHO DOESN'T.... bc in the end you're the one who has to be happy..... ::

.:Anna blogged on 7:16 AM:.

::PEOPLE like cassidy are the reason i hate HIGH SCHOOL..... ALL IM going to say is cassidy's middle name should be drama......::

.:Anna blogged on 7:13 AM:.

::GUYS... this is cassidy trying to be cool, and act like she doesnt know whats going on.... It must be the blonde hair.....
ok this is getting so old. and can someone please tell me what ANNA is talking about?!!?! seriously, if you are going to sit here and talk shit about me.... when i never said anything in the first place about you OR your friends... then thats just gay. whatever goes on between me lauren and kyleen has nothing to do with you. and i NEVER said a word about you or anyone else. so i was just wondering what you are talking about. and your right... we arent friends, and thats fine. but if i quote never liked you in the first place... then why would i try to make things cool between us??? honestly... call me "fake" all you want! fine, i dont care. as long as you know i NEVER said anything. on a different note... i really miss how things used to be. but i guess times are just changing. i miss my 3 best friends, but im beginning to think that things are never going to back to the way it was. you can say its all my fault if you want... but i disagree. i guess our so called "different interests" just finally became an issue. i hate it so much just know that. and what sucks even more is now i have anna being a bitch to me for NO REASON. anyways.... i love you guys more than you know. this year has been so great, and if yall dont want to be friends anymore then theres nothing i can do to change your mind. just know this... this has been one of the best years ever. and i wish things didnt turn out this way. god if there is someway to make things better someone please tell me how...


HERES all im gonna say..... I'll just go ahead and tell cassidy why shes a huge fake gay ass when i see her face... O dont worry i'm not gonna bother with writing the shit in my blog....::

.:Anna blogged on 7:11 AM:.
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.:Wednesday, May 14, 2003:.

::Ok i just did something really wierd... I just read brooke's blog... AND for a minute it made me kinda sad.... Here are some MORE THOUGHTS for the third time today....
Brooke- We always used to lay on my trampoline and talk about how we'd never lose each other... We'd always be there for each other.. BLAH BLAH BLAH... Here's what went wrong... As i've watched you and myself go through high school we both were always the type of people that were outgoing, and good people most of all.... ANd more than both of those things you and i always wanted to fit in... But there came a time in my life when i realized it's not about fitting in it's about finding yourself and finding that fit.... Brooke you used to have such a good kind heart.. You used to have good advice, and you used to be a sister to me.... But now i just look at you and think well we used to have something great... I Dont feel that i would be being true to myself to try to make things work NOW when we had all year.. I guess we were just two friends with hope in our hearts that didnt work out... Hey it happens to lots of people... It's just like this.... I look at you walking in the hall and still going up to the fake people and it just looks like INSIDE your still the same person you always were... You're that sweet little brooke mcdonald from middle school..... Then i look at you again and see you doing the same thing you used to do to me... Tell me what i wanted to hear... Act like you actually had intentions of being my friend and being there for me when i needed you. Talking to me about fish like you acutally look back to those times and smile.... I guess i'll leave it at this.... I moved on to a place where i found myself.. I DONT go walking in the halls feelign like i have to talk to people so i'll fit in and still be catagorized as "cool" But brooke more than anything else i hope you find yourself.... ANd i mean that bc thats one of the most important things you'll ever discover.... I hope you realize what its like to find true people who WONT STAB you in the back... PEOPLE who don't talk shit bc it's FUN to do... And people who've changed for the better..... Find those people, find yourself and i'm sure you'll be happier...... Good luck to you in the future... Bc that's all i can give... Bc i know i can't ever give my friendship... BC all you do with that is throw it around....
::

.:Anna blogged on 7:57 AM:.

::Must not be done bc i just thought of some more shit.... Prom is FRIDAY... I DONT WANT TO GO.... I DONT WANT TO WEAR MY DRESS... AND certainly don't want to do all the things that going to prom means... EXCEPT see tyler... ANd i'm BURNT.... Yep tanning beds will do that to you...
Kyleen Edwards.... You are a funny bitch... I just have to add that one in... Bc in all honesty you are one bad ass and i think we should do a nature sessions today... WORD!!!!!
Oo yeah we all had a bad ass time at savianos last night... I KNOW ALL You crazy bitches remember that one..... Kristen why dont' you put you're drink down you dumb ass bitch and keep hoein' the tables... OOO but it gets better... WHO walks into savianos.... "YOU GUYS got a MARGARITA MACHINE...." CALLIE... I thought my head was going to spin and fall off.. But what was more funny was when lauren actually asks kristen what her prom dress looks like.... I ABOUT FELL APART.... WEll i think we all did... I'm pretty sure that when kristen goes it goes down to here.... as she points to her belly button.... we all about fell out of our chairs... YOU'RE a DUMB slut but whatever..... YEA YEA WHATEVER.......
I wonder when my new phone is going to come in... BC my old phone is about to fall apart.. NO SHIT..... I mean the piece has really given me some memory's but now it's time to go....
Well Lauren, Lauren, Kyleen & Whitney had a great time with you guys last night and sam i'm sorry you couldnt be there bc it would have been a real honor to have our ceballos with us to regulate on the sluts of america... WORD HOMIES....
O and Miss Townsend You crazy slut way to go on leaving you're keys in the car.... Yeah i was like damn stoners.... :) hahhahha I'm out like a fat trout..... OVER AND OUT
::

.:Anna blogged on 7:36 AM:.

::Everything just is gay... I mean i guess thats how it goes.... For awhile now I've just felt like OK well blah blah blah... I mean like I have the patience of a three year old and the smallest things have been pissing me off.... Im not kidding... It's gotten to the point where bullshit is supposed to be left at home.... I'm not gonna lie i'm still pissed at lauren, i hate that she expects me to just GET over things on the spare of the moment and ALTHOUGH i dont stay mad i dont like to just forget gay ass shit either... ANd thats exactly what all that drama is.... GAY ASS SHIT..... Lauren's changed... NOT gonna lie about that... I'm so sorry that i went out of my way to help her and sam get things back together.. Really that sucked but now laurens just different... AND TO BE HONEST... I FEEL LIKE she just walks all over me and that's ok bc i'm the one DOWN not her... PRIME EXAMPLE.... Last night lauren didn't want to drive.... why BC she DIDNT HAVE gas.... well lauren if you can buy bud i know you have money for gas and i drive all the god damn time.... SO whatever... And things with me and sam have changed straight up... I know it, she knows it... I guess that's just how it goes... I mean i used to be able to go over there and taylor would be cool to me, sam would ACTUALLY act excited to see me and now its just like ooo annas here... I mean i'm just sick of feeling like my two best friends really dont want to chill with me they just want to do whats best for them and that sucks.. BC I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THOSE Two girls and im sick of feeling like this. IT's not like this is some plea or beg to make things straight... I just want to feel like hey anna you actually have meaning for being on this gay ass planet... BLAH BLAH BLAH... So whatever i just want things to go back to the way they were.... and they're not so.....
AND CASSIDY holy hell... DON"T EVEN look at me.. YOU are pathetic... AND frankly you put all this shit on yourself and now you're trying to get out of it.. FUNNY how that works... SO whatever you dont like the stuff those awesoem girls do then FUCK YOU.... Bc that's just how it goes....
My shouts out to my homies.....word::

.:Anna blogged on 7:23 AM:.
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.:Tuesday, May 13, 2003:.

::I’m sitting in my room…. And what do I want to do… Blog… So I open internet explorer OOO and does blogger.com come up… NOPE…. So I’m as desperate as this… I’m writing in Microsoft word right now…. Yep, realistically that’s exactly what I’m doing…. I’m going to copy and paste this mother into my blog later on… Yea you have to be a real smart cookie to come up with that kinda stuff…. Anyways… So recently I heard that miss Cassidy who has once already talked with me to make sure stuff was cool, is now just not so cool…. Who is Cassidy to judge me and my two best friends… BC last time I checked how well did she know me???? Seriously though, here’s all I’m going to say then be totally done…. It’s sad when you really DON’T care enough to talk to the person…. I mean I don’t give two shits anymore… Really let’s not try to pretend to be friends, b/c one, WE aren’t, two, why would you want to be fake to someone YOU NEVER LIKED???? Yeah well sometimes I don’t understand either…. But seriously that’s how Cassidy has always acted to me… Just bc Cassidy really doesn’t care for us doesn’t mean she needs to rag on ANYONE else for chilling with us… BC THE MATURE Ones of us STILL left see that it’s cool to find new friends who share the same interests….. Anyways, that kinda pissed me off, I think I’ll be alright…. So we all had fun at the lake today… Yeah bad ass times….
Some fun times of today….
- It’s the COAST GUARD!!! “Drive KYLEEN!!!”
- YEP, who’s gotta pee…. WHITNEY screams…. That water must be cold…
- Who wants to match again?
- The NERDS just went EVERYWHERE….
- Let’s go find the sun…
- Busting out the DOORS….
- Kyleen’s stomach is BLACK….
- Whitney, Eric is such a douche…..
- Nothing worse than a wet cock…
- Brown britches is taking a shit on the seat….
- Hey whitney where were you??? Ooo taking a shit…. (dosey doing)
- Doritos….. yummm…..
- BUSTING out through the refrigerators….
- Yep, I think the sun is gone….
- Squash 4 in the back seater….


Ya’ll I had a bad ass time today…. PARTY on…. WOO-hooo… oooo yeah prom is this Friday… damn the man….
::

.:Anna blogged on 7:47 AM:.
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.:Sunday, May 11, 2003:.

::Alot to say alot to say.... Hmmm so i don't forget.... Tonight, BT, Ginnie, Ross, Latter plans of the evening....
Ok wow, so mother's day is tomorrow... AND i've got the BEST mom... Really.. No joke... Today Amy and i went shopping for my prom stuff at the Park's Mall... This black chick walks straight into my bag like she can't move out of the way and then goes, "EXCUSE YOU...." And everyone who knows me knows i'm a little agressive.... So i proceed to say, "WHAT?!" and then she replies,"I said EXCUSE YOU...." THEN i'm thinking is this gay ass black nigger actually going to say this shit to me NOW? So i was like, "YOU ran INTO MY BAG...." Then she starts talking shit to me like she can actually bag that black shit up.... SO i look at this chick right in the face and I'm like WHATEVER... and turn around while she's still trying to act like i'm listening and i just SHOO her off.... And i know she felt like an ass bc i was basically like ooo yea you're a black gay ass FUCK YOU!!!!! So whatever I guess.... So moving along.... Tonight kinda goes with the topic of ROSS.... So i go to my sister's chill with her for a bit and then lauren gets back into town... Well we're driving around when i talk to kyle.... Well kyle doesn't make diego's sound very appealing just because he says it's a, "bunch of guys" and so we decide not to go.. Well sean calls me and is like you better come over here... SO we end up stopping by before we go to travis'.... Well it ended up being a success... Carlos and i talked about my new doors cd and we end up taking carlos to travis' with us... SO that was cool... Well i talked to erik earlier in the night and he ends up being at ROSS' bc ross' parents are out of town.... They're all drinking and i'm sure being gay... BC honestly at travis' lauren and i walk out of the barn and can STILL HEAR gay ass callie... You have to be a real gay ass to be THAT LOUD... but o well... ANYHOW... proms gonna be a little bit wierd with her.. But i'll be cool bc erik's going with her and that has to be a little akward and what kinda a friend would i be to be gay to her IN FRONT of him..... Moving along again.... GInnie is sick.... Man i've cried ALOT today... SUCKED SUCKED SUCKED.... My mom thinks ginnie has some new sists on her and that sucks bc it prob. means shes in pain which means she needs to be put to sleep.... So NOW I'm all emotional and i'm like mom we have to take her to the vet... Well the vet was closed by the time we talked and i knwo my mom didnt want to take her today just bc if there is something wrong they'll put her to sleep anyway.... SO THIS SUCKS... Bc i dont want ginnie to die... I dont want them to give her a shot and take her life away... BUT i dont want her to hurt either... I'm so upset about this and i don't know what to do bc ALL this does is make me SUPER SUPER DEPRESSED.... AND everythings getting more worse.. I feel myself feeling drained, i feel like i'm upset all the time, i'm more defensive when people say things... AND i just feel emotional... I mean i've felt more suicidal lately than in a long time and that's not good... I just hate when you feel LONELY and i feel lonely... Nothing FEELS like its the same ANYMORE.... And i dont know how to say all of it... I'm soooo scared of college... I'm scared to death to leave my parents but i HAVE to I can't stay here forever..... I dont know i'll keep all that in my prayers bc i'm SO LOST.... Moving along again.......... So BT played a nice set... VERY BAD ASS... I was real thankful that i didnt see jen.. Mostly bc i hate her and shes a huge gay ass... I wonder if she's actually had the deceny to call anthony and be like yeah i gave you worts... How do you feel about that??? Shes gay... But whatever.... So yeah i'm gonna go bc lauren and i have some business planned.... Ay ay...
DEDICATION to the KYLEENZO to the LaHIZZO to the WHITEEZIMO.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 12:49 AM:.
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.:Tuesday, May 06, 2003:.

::I had my gay allergist appt. today.... I'm now sitting in environmental systems being tired and wanting to go home... So Sam called me a few 10 ago and I can't really figure out why exactly she called bc we didnt' really accomplish much... Maybe she was calling to check on me.... Anyways i guess i got a little caught up in some confusion and so i'm sure momma c and i will talk about it later. Anyhow, Schools almost out and that's cool mostly bc im sick of seeing the same gay ass people all the time... I guess there comes a point in time when you just have to ignore the bs.... I'm glad that most of us have found our REAL friends and forgot about the shitty ones... Well i'm out like a fat trout....
Amy- if you read this let's schedule a Fest el noche... Shout me a holla when you get off work...
Hey Bob i really liked that cupholder thing... KINDA RANDOM but funny.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 9:31 AM:.

::this blog goes to amy and bob... ok amy did you read in jen's blog where she says hey we know this guy that can get us in free.,,, Well yeah you dumb idiot everyone gets in free until 10.... thats all, until after school, i have some thoughts with some conspiracy that i need to get out.........::

.:Anna blogged on 8:02 AM:.
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.:Sunday, May 04, 2003:.

::i hate, hate, hate, hate, hate this STUPID rash.... Man this sucks.... So i have really bad allergies.. i mean im dealign with it, doing my thing when out of no where i get this stupid rash... So i'm hoping it will go away soon. Anyhow i read jen's blog... And to my dissapointment matt and his "love slave" are now going to bt... That makes me really mad bc i dont want to see jen's slutty ass there... SHES a big dissapointment..... But whatever jen has to fit in obviously she's made it so apparent... What a douche bag.... If i could throw one person of the face of this earth it would be her... WHY? bc she deserves it.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 2:27 PM:.
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.:Friday, May 02, 2003:.

::Well it's friday.... I didnt' have school today so yesterday lauren, sam and i went to amy's to chill. Lauren and i brought some cali mist and pineapple to make the evening... FUN times... Anyhow, when we were leaving amy's i saw this HUGE possum standing in front of me... I was like everybody back inside... It was sooo funny. So before we all left amy lauren and i were outside plotting that all the arabs were against us and that they had bombs in they're bags... But when we were leaving we smelled LOTS of gas outside and we were like ahhhhhhhhhhhh and then that damn possum and we were all sorts of out of it.... After we left amy's we made a run to sean's to chill with the boys... That's always fun to go over there and JUST chill with them... IT was really funny bc kristen was over there ALL BY HERSELF... I just remember looking at her and being like wow you're gross... GROSS BOOB CRACK FOREVER...
Anyhow i hope tt makes it by the school so sam and tt get they're prom tickets... So lets' cross our fingers... MAN i have been cleaning ALL DAY... LIKE A MADMAN....
SO i'm going to go bc i have to make my hair appt. HAS ANYONE HEARD THE NEW DEFTONES SONG???
DOWNLOAD THIS RIGHT NOW....
deftones:MINERVA....
yeah yeah.. I'LL SEE EVERYONE TONIGHT.... tah tah::

.:Anna blogged on 1:36 PM:.
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.:Thursday, May 01, 2003:.

::O shucks.... Blog time i guess... It's 8 i just came home got myself together and im now waiting on lauren to call me back... I'm wondering when sam and tt are goign to be back from el din din..... She'll give me a ring when they're done.. Anyways, so my aunt and uncle are here..... Things are different than they used to be... I guess thats all i can say about that.... Man i feel so STRESSED... and here are the reasons why......

1. Prom is coming very shortly and we still dont have a limo.....
2. My room is wreck and i have to clean it.... EVENTUALLY anyway
3. I have no clue where my night plans will take me tonight...or whats even going on....
4. I have alot of money and i can't spend any of it....with the exception of the few 10 i spent today....
5. OUR PROM TABLE... did it ever get fixed?
6. Rasta looks like an alien/scuba dog... THE BEST:when she gets excited and her teeth show
7. Dinky is a walking sausage---->I love the dog that's just how it goes
8. Ginnie is so fat and old she's a grandma
9. I need a job
10. I wish COLLEGE would get worked out, and i would figure out where im gonna go
11. I might see ross at bt.... No bueno<----- well sucks to be him... He knows how much i LOVE bt... void this one
12. I still have this wierd heat rash thing on my neck
13. I dont want to wear my prom dress

Yeah that sounds about right..... HOODY-HOO i'm out like a bat in the night.... Ringle jingle jangle ::

.:Anna blogged on 6:15 PM:.
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.:Wednesday, April 30, 2003:.

::So i havent really blogged in a long time... Prob. because i hate jen so much and she makes me so mad i can't see straight... She's kinda like a thorn in my finger... I thought all this stuff would go away after she left but i consider my sister one of MY BEST FRIENDS and i guess i take it kinda "personal" that jen did all the stuff she did to my sister, and TO MY FAMILY, and to me and MY FRIENDS.... But anyhow things are going real good... School's almost out, prom is in 2 weeks i believe and then GRADUATION... HOORAY.... Anyways I'm out like a boogey monster when the light comes on...::

.:Anna blogged on 2:23 PM:.

::Jen PREECE has an excuse for everything... UMMM NO JOKE... Because no-one even started talkign about her "medical problems" which are WORTS more plain as day... Until AFTER she decided to not give amy and bob money... OOOO and the person talkign about her WORTS was me... HEY i'll admit it was ME, no problems here.... So jen take you're medical problems and stick them up you're ass bc you're a douche and JUST MAKING EXCUSES....
EVERYONE i figured out why jen and matt don't have money...
while jen's working durign the DAY... Matt goes and pays money for prostitutes bc jen's worts are acting up..... Sorry the truth hurts.. HEY jen are you goign to send me any porn mail??? Maybe you can call me sometime and i can give you my password.... Sounds appropriate... You know how you screwed that one up jen... THIS IS HOW.... You said that bob sent you and you're friends emails.. But how does bob know you're friends adresses'? Just wondering you dumb kank.....
My name is jen....
I should work on the corners,
But i have a "condition"
AKA worts
I write in my blog like im happy
But i'm a dumb douche
My boyfriend cheats on me
I douche over my "friends"
I make LOTS of excuses
I like to put on shows for people
So people think i'm really nice
But right as we become close
I'll stab you in the back....
Love-Jen

I dont know how she got on my computer but SHE did.... She must be breaking into houses or something.... It might be the worts talking...
O Jen did you ever tell anthony what you gave him????? ::

.:Anna blogged on 2:20 PM:.
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.:Monday, April 28, 2003:.

::why is JEN PREECE SO FUCKING GAY... take you're worts and SHOVE THEM.... you're a douche....::

.:Anna blogged on 9:58 PM:.

::Here's the first words out of my mouth,"Jen YOU ARE EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE." I swear you're mentally fucked up....You keep doing the most amazing things.... Listen I have to laugh at myself for thinking that you "might actually" live up TO YOUR FUCKING WORD... But then again you've never been able to live up to your "word.." You're word for YOU is JUST something you THROW AROUND.... You KNOW NOTHING ABOUT what it's like to have parents that teacher they're daughters discipline and teach them daily lessons of DO WHAT YOU SAY YOU WILL... How are things goign with matt yet jen? You throwing up you're meals again??? OOO YEAH REAL HEALTHY JEN... GOOD JOB WITH THAT... GOOD JOB with moving on to matt jen, real MOVE UP..... You're PATHETIC, and you seriously MAKE ME LAUGH....
quote jen, "The only thing that bugs me is I know that there is some High School bull-doo brewing up over in that twisted little mind."
YOU ARE HIGH SCHOOL... HELL JEN IM STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL AND IM MORE MATURE THAN YOU....
AND lets all add this AT LEAST I DEALT with the heartbreak i KNOW what's it's like jen but you're such a dumb fucking kank i can't do anything but point my finger and laugh... YOU are SUCH A JOKE... I mean to ALL of us.... You sit and talk about you're lifestyle like it's something to be proud of jen, BUT funny yeah didnt matt quit his job once you MOVED back in???? OOOO hahahha yeah i thought so... You're the bill-payer of the house... MAN that sucks... AND the funniest part is i know hes telling you ooo jen i love you, i'm so glad we're back together... AND YOU're so dumb for not seeing the truth... Bc what's hes really saying is im goign to cheat on you bc i can get away with it, and i'm only going to stay with you bc i can use you to PAY MY BILLS!!!
I just think that jen is such a gay ass for all the dumb shit she pulled on my sister. I mean i think its funny as hell that jen THINKS she can tell amy that if she talks shit at work... ooo yeah she'll go to pat, HAHHAHHA JEN YOU"VE only been there what a month??? Amy's worked her ASS off to have that job... You have NO HOPE TO EVER BE SOME TYPE OF A GOOD PERSON....
***Jen have you told matt about all the guys you've fucked yet... DID you tell him what a slut you became??? YOU ACT LIKE YOU"RE SHIT DOESNT STINK... and you know what it does... You're still the high school joke, you're still the battered girlfriend, and you're still the hopeless that just can't get they're shit straight... You are nothing anymore, you're a faze of the past that doesnt SEEM TO GO AWAY.... Here for everyone to see is what a joke my sisters friend came to be.... WE're ALL pointing and laughing....
YOU'RE WORTHLESS!!!!!::

.:Anna blogged on 5:04 AM:.
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.:Sunday, April 27, 2003:.

::So i'm a little concerned..... Here's my thoughts about last night..... Seriously... So Lauren talks to sam.... She then tells me that sam is "sleeping".... My understanding at this point is lauren did in fact talk to sam.... But then last night lauren tells me that she NO didnt ever talk to sam... But then sam says she told lauren that she did want to go... So i'm sitting here thinking why couldnt everything have worked out.. I'm a little confused because i dont like when people lie to me, and i can't tell where lauren is goign with all this... really i'm not mad bc i really dont have any reason to be mad it just sucks that sam didnt go.... But i really don't have anything else to say, prob. because i need to get into the shower, tan sTUFf like that..... THen momma sam and i are supposed to go get prom shoes and stuff.... sweet.... ok well im gonna go ::

.:Anna blogged on 11:10 AM:.

::update:
Taylor-glad you're feeling better, you had all of us mommas a little scared.... :)
Sam-Momma loves her sweet little baby.... Merry christmas.... WOWZERS LOVE YOU!!!~thongs forever
Lauren-Lp to the gzee ummmm had a great time with you tonight... Good times:)
Erik-You're one cool kiddo.... YEE HAW
Amy-Yoodly oodly i love you mamma!!! You crazy mo fo to the rizzo....
Bob-Thats one kick ass home page with the pics... bad ass my friend... BUTTPLUGS!!!!
SADDAM-You're mother sucks cocks in hell...... (scary movie 2)
Bin Ladin-You have hairy goat cheese nuts..... But i have a feeling you and you're family is going down!!!! O DOYLE RULES

Anyways though, tonight was cooool dude... A little miscommunication but everythings gonna be fine... I love my mommas.... I do i do..... HOODY HOO... ::

.:Anna blogged on 12:07 AM:.
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.:Saturday, April 26, 2003:.

::i got really pissed off a dinner tonight... Nothing more gross than 3 gross assed mexicans that do nothing but stare!!!!!::

.:Anna blogged on 4:30 PM:.

::here's to the night.... good song... hey seriously though here's the deal.... This is what high school is all about... I got to go with my 2 best friends to my sister sit with bob and amy and just CHILL.... NO DRAMA.... but seriously that's all i had to say... Lauren and i are going to go chill now... adios amigos::

.:Anna blogged on 1:21 AM:.
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.:Friday, April 25, 2003:.

::i read jens blog today and i just want to puke... That girl has so many fantasy's in her head she can't see straight... I mean if shes happy cool, whatever... But here's what i really think... IF i guy cheats on you once he'll do it again.. And i bet hes dancing around in her head right now and hes getting away with everything... Jen doesnt see the truth even when its staring at her in the face. I really pity jen bc i see her sitting at her apartment in frisco just tellign herself i am happy, im happy... I'm happy with everything, but somewhere in her heart shes scared, and shes just like all the other battered girlfriends and shit shes so obessed with the thought of creating a new life that she "thinks" is goign to make her happy when she knows whats best for her... It's cool how jen could ditch bob and amy so easily to go back to her so called happy lavishing lifestyle... But whatever like you say jen it's your blog so you can say what you want.. Sorry i DIDNT have anything nice to say... I just have no respect for you.... But i'll be sure to not read you're blogs again thinking you might have some sense to you... Plus all it is one BIG dissapointment...
I also want to add how petty some people can be.. First off jen ditches amy and bob... They missed her but dealt with the pain... Now just so jen can have something to fight about shes bitching about how bob supp. sent her some porn.. .Please jen we all know bob has better things to do then send YOU email... but whatever... i guess some people dont change.... Whats easiest for them is the best... That sucks::

.:Anna blogged on 7:28 PM:.
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.:Wednesday, April 23, 2003:.

::Bob made a picture of ross with a penis as a nose.. everybody has to see it!!!!!!!!!!!::

.:Anna blogged on 7:15 AM:.

::My sister..... is a bad ass....
Amy hey i really want to put that picture that bob made of ross in my blog... You'll have to come over so i can figure out how to put it in my blog..... Did you see the picture???? Its funny....
So yeah i guess i should prob go get ready for school then go pick up momma sam.... FIRECRACKERS!!!!!! ::

.:Anna blogged on 7:15 AM:.
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.:Tuesday, April 22, 2003:.

::aloha friends and relatives from the underchaps... how are things? sounds good... OK blog time....
So today.... Hmmmm yea it was def. a TUESDAY... For one i go to one class..... Greg leaves :( and then kyleen and i decide to go get crazy and yea... well so yeah then we chilled at my house making bagels and soup... That was good..... Then lauren came over and that was cool, always a good time with lauren.. Then momma samarang slept most of the day something i would have liked to enjoy... Taylor's sick... EVERYBODY hope for taylor to get better.... and further more hope momma sam doesnt get sick bc then ill get sick then lauren will get sick and we'll all be sick sick sick.... So anyhow i dont want to write much bc i have to get in the shower and visit sparky.... adios::

.:Anna blogged on 8:08 PM:.

::Reminder Number 1.....
Don't ever refer to a boyfriend as an animal that you might like to have one day....... ::

.:Anna blogged on 3:01 PM:.

::haven't people learned to say things to people's faces yet instead of making a big fuss over the internet???? Anyways i need to get into the shower so i can go to work... that sounds wierd... ::

.:Anna blogged on 2:43 PM:.

::amy, why can't you relax.... why do you keep telling yourself that i lied to you... and did you not listen to me at all.... I said we had to take something back to OMAR.... we didnt chill with any "boys" so stop talking all this shit bc im really sick of it.... Why can't you be understandable when i have a headache and im tired and i just want to go home.... I mean please give me a break..... it's not like i stayed out I WENT STRAIGHT HOME AFTER I TALKED TO YOU... i just felt like thats the only reason i called if i didnt have what i have right now and you invited me over and i didnt come over you'd be like cool.. and i know you would... so i dont know i just think we need to deal with this but i really dont want to right now.... so please stop being gay and just give this time... ::

.:Anna blogged on 5:51 AM:.
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.:Wednesday, April 16, 2003:.

::dustbowll: so i know that it's someones inside thoughts
dustbowll: so you can't be like judgemental
dustbowll: and take it personally
dustbowll: because everyone has judgements, blog is just someones diary
dustbowll: if ur gonna read it u have to accept what it says as that persons thoughts etc
dustbowll: cuz i had people coming to me that read mine
dustbowll: 'n getting mad at me

***** Which is why my point is this... don't read the blog if you don't like the blog... word*******::

.:Anna blogged on 8:57 PM:.

::OOOOOO yes! I'm supposed to be packing for padre right now BUT i kinda blew that idea off because i just took my medicene and it makes me feel really hyper.... So i can't even think of doing laundry right now... It's so wierd bc i feel like my eyes feel huge and that things go really fast... This medicene is so wierd i can't explain how i feel... It's almost like this isnt really happening.. Everything seems alot brighter too, i wonder if thats normal... Hmmm alright im going to go now... WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.... yeah momma c and i are going shopping later geez louiz i love that girl.... and tt too and momma lp... im out like a fat one... Hey seriously no more reading my blogs people if you're going to bitch at me.. Bc i'm not writing shit for people to read this is MY tension relief... So for the particular person that commented to me about it... Don't read it if you're going to find things wrong with the things i say... Bc i'm not pointing fingers at people, and just talkign shit behind they're backs... If i have a problem with you I"LL SAY IT TO YOUR FACE.... I HATE BULLSHIT.....::

.:Anna blogged on 11:37 AM:.
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.:Tuesday, April 15, 2003:.

::ok ok i thought of more to say.... So today school, ummm sucked... i think it's because the weather outside today sucked.... I took my medicene the new stuff for the first time today, i'm hoping it will wake me up a little bit.... So if i'm a little anxious and restless today guys now you know why... So lunch today was not so much fun.... I'm glad that kyleen and cassidy share a nice friendship and I really do appreciate that cassidy took us with her to lunch... BUT i do have some "thoughts" they're are certain aspects about cassidy that i really dont like.... Im really not friends with cassidy so they'res not point in talking about her like i know her so i'll just leave it at that.... Anyhow, so ahhhhhhh padre in 2 days.... MOMMA AND TT..... WOW guys i'm excited but if yall need some romance time im down with that... I already told momma that ill go find some hot guy or some sand or something and just make out with that.... Sounds good... Nah im jk.... And of course momma stacy and i have a past of drinking together... I mean seriously i love that woman... I do... She's one of the nicest people i have ever met in my life.... So i'm again so excited to go with them on this trip.... OOOOOOOOOOOOOO-WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! I feel so excited to be like yeah i'm going to padre and you guys arent! hahahhah.... it's nice to go somewhere for the weekend to release stress and just RELAX.... So yeah... anyhow my mom has really been stressing me out lately... like more than normal... You would think that she would just try to get off my back a little for all the shit thats been going on lately.. BUT NO.... sorry i must have been confused bc its not like that.... Ok well lauren just got here so im going to venture downstairs... I love everyone.... well a few people::

.:Anna blogged on 12:44 PM:.

::Mamma Sam, the blog was most amazing... Glad to know we share the love... Thats all i had to say for now.. Love you tons::

.:Anna blogged on 12:37 PM:.
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.:Monday, April 14, 2003:.

::so i have alot to talk about today..... First off HOOOOOOORAAAAAYYYY... bc i'm going to padre with my two favorite people sam, and tt.... Honorable mention to lauren but she's goign to houston or houston or somewhere i dont know... But seriously i get to go chill with those two goofy kids all weekend and i'm so excited... Bc i love sam so much and i'm so excited that we get to do something like this together... It really makes me SUPER DOOPER happy... I'm not even joking.... This puts a HUGE smile on my face... When stacy first told me they were going i was like NOOOOO!!!! Bc i rely on them for alot of stuff.... I have to say it's understandable.... Anyways.... SO.... on a more serious note...I know sam loves me but i can't tell if she's frustrated with me or upset with me or what the deal is... I first noticed it on saturday and i dont know if it was bc lauren was talking some smak or not... Although i do have to mention i said something to her by walking around the topic... I just basically said i want all of this behind the back stuff to stop.. ( i said this to lauren) Bc most of the time 3's as friends dont work out... And i really want all 3 of us to work out, bc we all have different aspects that we bring to the friendship...But i love you sam alot.... and im very excited about this weekend.... so ill write more later... hhhhhhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooodddddddddddddddyyyyy hooooooooo::

.:Anna blogged on 9:42 PM:.
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.:Sunday, April 13, 2003:.

::First of all I feel like i need to shove my head into a tiny little hole and leave it there.... I'm not mad, upset, or anything of that sort... i guess i just feel like wow i'm glad this weekend is over.... There has been an INSANE amount of drama that i know most of us are glad to hear and say it's over... Well for the most part.... Let's start off with last night.... LAST NIGHT.... NO let's start with friday.... NO let's not lets start with saturday.... Sam joined our little fun slumber party at 7 in the morning which i'm always down with... ALWAYS.... STRESS RELIEF.... But sreiously we got shit together, decided to grill out sam ended up getting her hair done.... I think it looks really good... I DO.... Then i went home got pissed at lauren and my sister REFER to the last blog... So then we go over to mike's to give him his sweaters that was cool... I really havent seen mike in a long time and i really really really ENJOY good artwork.... AND mike most. def has the talent.... I wish i had half the talent that, that boy has.... So then we left and ventured over to diego's.... ANd that was fun, real fun actually.... HOW many guys did i give a kiss to on they're cheek??? Yeah well it was cute... But it's always cool to chill with those boys... So sean ended up getting with this girl and i was really upset about it to be honest.... I think i've always had some type of feeling for sean it's one of those things that you're like wow hes a really good friend and i really might like to try something with him but then you're like no dont want to screw the good friendship up.... So i dont know... ANYHOW, so we ended up chilling at diego's until about 330 close to 4 then lauren and i went back ot my house... TO be honest i was a little pissed off with lauren just bc of the pure fact that she was acting really drunk and i hate when girls can't handle they're shit when they're drunk... .Much like the dumb slut sean brought to diegos... Wow sam lauren and i were so mean to that chick... But if you're going to be a drunk slut then you deserve that... Yep you really do..... So yeah david and i are supposed to go see house of 1000 corpses tonight, which i would really like to go see BUT they're are times that i think that i might have a small crush on david THEN i'm like well tyler comes home soon and i dont wnat to be in a relationship if i can help it..... So back to today...The fam and i went to the japanese botanical gardens took some good pictures, had a nice time, but it seemed like everyone and they're dog was calling me to say SOMETHING... and i just wanted to enjoy the day with MY FAMILY..... and i def. did not get too... I got home just wanting to come chill at sam and taylors and forget about all the bullshit going on... Then sam and taylor almost got they're ass' busted.. SORRY GUYS YOU KNWO I AINT GOT NOTHIN BUT LOVE FOR YA..... but yeah they did and i dont have my liscense so i couldnt drive to see if they were all right and that really sucked... SO i cant find my stupid wallet and that sucks really sucks... HEre's the deal i feel ike i'm under so much stress, i just want to cry... and this isnt good bc i've been really suicidal and then i try to pick myself up and i can't... SOMETIMES I JUST CANT..... and like i want evreyoen to talk to me bc i dont have ppl to talk to sometimes and i dont ever want anyone to do something to theyre selves like i did..... So heres what i'm going to say to some ppl.....
Erik,
You're life means something... I'm asking god to give me the words to give to you right now.... So life is beautiful... WITHOUT drugs.... You don't need them, and i will be here for you ever step of the way.. I will be here for a shoulder for you to cry on, i'll be here for you when you feel lonely, and i'll be there to be a friend and JUST LISTEN... Bc ,that's what you need... But god loves you VERY MUCH..... and he has a plan for you, Just like he does for me... This is really hard for me to write and put my feelings on the line like this.... SO know what i'm about to say means alot.... I dont like people, it's hard for me to trust people, it's hard for me to open myself up to people but evreything i have ever said to you i meant... IF you ever start to feel bad i better get a phone call... Erik i think you're one of the most genuine people i have ever met in my life... I havent had the opportunity to meet alot of people that will make me smile when i feel like shit, i havent met alot of people that will stand up for me like you did with derek... You are so very amazing.... And i know that you are feelign very depressed.... But erik LIFE WILL GO ON... WE all love you no matter what.. .WE all love YOU SO MUCH... It's just sometimes its hard for all of us to see you in this much pain when we can't do anything but be here... WHICH IS SOMETHING I WILL ALWAYS DO.... I'll never forget some of the things you've done for me... But back to what i was saying... I would never tell you to hang out with, or throw you're problems in you're face but you've got to pull yourself up by you're boots and leave all this shit that's making you're life worse.... I know you owe ross money, but you've got to get out.... We're all gonna be here to make sure you'e gonna make it... I meant what i said i will give you all of my money that i'm about to get... I want to see you go to prom... You are a amazing person and i love you as a close friend... I'll always be here for you... .Just please try to help yourself before you kill yourself.. Bc sam's right in her blog everytime ross feeds you that roll he's killing you. And it's NOT JUST ROSS... You make the decisions for yourself but think about the day after think about how you'll feel in the long run... And as for callie, kristen, ross, and all those kids it's not that i hate them i hate that they keep doing this to themselves... We're moving on erik... OUR lives our taking us different places and we're 18 this shit can't go on forever... You're gonna marry some hott ass chick and have gorgeous children and live you're life... At least that's what i pray and hope for you..... Just know i'm rambling and i'll be here just stop doing this to yourself.... I'm so thankful that you've been blessed into my life... I've learned alot from you... So let me say this listen to me this one time... You're life is gorgeous, beautiful, and you'll make it..... You're friend always--- anna

For my taylor and sam,
you guys better my life everyday, i mean that i would be lost without people like you guys.... I wake up for people like ya'll.... I hate to see you guys fight, i hate it...Nothing makes me more sad than to see two fo my best friends hurting, crying and feeling and expieriencing all the pain that you guys feel... You two love each other and nothing makes me more happy than too see you two hold each other, look into each other's eyes and i can just tell that you guys have something... I'm so happy that you guys have that... BC you BOTH NEED EACH OTHER.... I dont care what happens... You just be thankful for evreything that you have.... DON"T TAKE IT FOR GRANTED.... In the end know that when they day ends you end up in each others arms.... I love you both....

Ross,
You'll never read this but i need to say all of this..... Ross everyday even though i'm over the love that i really believed was there.... It hurts me so bad to hear about all the things youre doing to yourself.. When you used to tell me that you'd pawn shit to get rolls and stuff i always thought you were just kidding or over exagerating... But now i know that you were very serious.... Ross i pray for you everyday i dont care what happens bt us.... I dont care if you think calie or kristen is what you need, i just wish all the rolls all the things that are killing you slowly would just go away.. i wish you would wake up and see the gift of life... I wish that you would see that my intentions arent to just be mean to you and that i'm trying to help.... I'll continue praying for you that things get better....

Ok wow, i'm very emotional.... But i feel alot better saying all that shit i just said.... It's really hard for me to say all those things.. Bc I hate feelign lonely, i hate feeling like i dont have anyone to talk to... But i'm thankful that i can go to these wonderful people that i just talked about... Bc i have to have that... Bc if i DIDNT i would have already killed myself a long time ago.... ANd i mean that... I can't tell you how it feels to go home at night and ponder all the ways you can end a gift.... It's so hard for me to deal with this shit... IT's hard to see my x boyfriend do all these things that he's doing to himeslf.. I really cared for ross.... AND believe me when i say i pray for him everynight i pray that he will wake up and see all the potential in front of him.... I do.. I wish nothing on him but prosperity.... It's hard for me to just have things end like this and act like i'm ok with it.... I dont know what else to say all i end with at night are those tears that i feel all day long for him.... I'm over ross i am but how can anyone keep doing this shit to themselves.... WHY can't someone tell him that he's hurting himsefl... This is really hard to talk about so i'm going to stop.....About kristen bc they're are some things i need to say..... I dont want to say i just hate her blah blah blah..... HERES the SCENARIO for everyone to see.... I DONT UNDERSTAND how or why she is so hurtful .... I dont understand how she can do all the things that shes doing... I dont understand why she insists on thinking that all this rolling shit is good for her... I dont understand why ross yells at me and tells me how pyscho i am for trying to help him bc that's all i ever wanted for him was to be happy... I just wanted him to see that life isnt about this kinda shit.... IT"S NOT... AND THIS IS A WAKEUP CALL for me... BC I HAVE TO FIND HAPPINESS WITH MYSELF FIRST... I HAVE To see that life is more than all of this.. BUT I"M TRYING,,,,,
Anyways, heres' what i leave everything at i love all of you in my life that are actually doing something for me, i'm thankful that i have some of the friends that i have... I JUST WANT to see people wake up.... IT wont matter in the end about materialistic stuff, it wont matter who you're dating and it wont matter what drug you just popped if you go home and you're unhappy..... i pray god gives me the strength to continue being there for me and my friends... BC more than anything i want them to be happy... ANd i dont care if in the end they end up coming before me bc you do that shit for people that you love..... sometimes its just about being there... like i said ill be there....then, now and in the end.... i'm out.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 5:21 PM:.
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.:Saturday, April 12, 2003:.

::Ok i'm pissed.... I'm real pissed.... I can't handle when all kinds of shit gets like this.... I'm pissed number one AND I DONT GIVE A SHIT WHO READS THIS BC IM SO FUCKING MAD..... I'm pissed that lauren has said from the beginning of all this grilling out bullshit that she would so happily help me... OR did you're shower become more important... OOOO YES i forgot it was... AND I FORGOT that my sister would start being gay to me just to be closer to one of my friends.... AND THAT MAKES ME REALLY MAD... and then when lauren ACTUALLY COMES UP TO ME AND SAYS ok i'll leave.... SHUT THE FUCK UP.... DID i just make a whole load of food for YOU... yeah i did... I'm serious shut the fuck up.... You just fed me a WHOLE load of bullshit and then decided to do WHAT WAS GOOD FOR YOU... and that's EXACTLY what i'm sick of... I'm sick of people who feed me bullshit that doesnt do anything for me but create stress..... So i'm really pissed and i dont plan on gettign over it anytime soon.. BC i've been trying to deal with this shit wiht you for A LONG ASS TIME... and if you pull this shit on me one more time i'm going to kill someone... And i dont care if this seems mean whatever this is MY BLOG this is HOW I ReLEASE my tension and how i deal with bullshit.... I'm sick that my sister decided to get her hair done thats fine REALLY IT IS... UNTIL MOM calls me TO COME HOME to watch you're dogs... AND ON TOP OF THAT I"M TRYING TO FEED ALL OF YOURE MOUTHS.... So whatver you both do whatever the hell it is that you need to do but DO NOT SAY ONE WORD TO ME TO TRY TO PISS ME OFF... BC i'm soooo stressed out and i have so much tension right now that i'm about to SNAP.... AND I MEAN THAT... I'm about to go fucking crazy... And it makes ME SO MUCH MORE MAD... that lauren thought it would be cute and we would all feel sorry for her if she decided to leave... LIKE I WOULD FUCKING CALL HER and tell her to come back... You do WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS that you need to do BUT DO NOT EVER THROW THAT KIND OF BULLSHIT IN MY FACE AGAIN... And i fucking mean that never again...........AND I DONT WANT TO HEAR ONE WORD ABOUT THIS.... NOT ONE.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 7:09 PM:.

::THE BLOG OF THE CENTURY IS HERE..... Mamma Sam made a blog...... CHECK IT OUT....
www.surfergurl036.blogspot.com <-------- bad ass!!!!!!
So we're all gonna chill today hopefully make some hamburgers and hotdogs and eat UP.... Bc all 3 of us crazy girls love food..... I'm going crazy, me too, likewise... YEAH YEAH YEAH.... We're all starving................ So we're gonna go get some food... Love everyone very much.............. I'm out like a fat trout.....::

.:Anna blogged on 10:36 AM:.

::p.s.s you're shit still does stink.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 1:27 AM:.

::p.s jen you're still fake and i still don't like you and YOU did exactly what i thought by running you're mouth like you're shits worth talking about.... You're still the same... SUCKS TO BE YOU.... over and out good fellows from a good friend lauren laposta....::

.:Anna blogged on 1:27 AM:.

::Tonight was cool... BUT I DO HAVE SOME THOUGHTS..... Lauren and i got our hair rehighlighted today.... That was cool.... Join the club eh..... Momma Samma rannga langa is a little p i s s e d with taylor right now..... I can understand the reason she's upset... ALTHOUGH..... You shouldnt test love and also if you really love someone you'll work through this shit... It's easy to tell someone that they can do something and that you really don't care if it seems impossible.... Like it was all kina ok until taylor really got serious about the acid.... And I'm not dogging sam for her feeligns bc i knwo i would be pissed if ross and i were still together and he pulled that shit on me.... It's just as simple as this.... Love will prevail if it's meant too..... But my recommendation for taylor is just stop with the drugs.... And it's obvious we dont consider the j a "Drug" Just some recreational fun..... Anyways greg's birthday was today ummmm actually SATURDAY.... But it's cool sam and i gave greg a kiss on the cheek... He's such a cutie... And i do mean that..... HEY IM GOING CRAZY.... ME TOO... LIKEWISE..... remember that bc all three of us are OUT OF CONTROL..... So we went and chilled at traba sitta's and then went to chris'... and all that was fun bc i got to meet some people i didnt know and talk with chris about some old times.... So i would say tonight was a overall success.... EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT WE SAW KRISTEN.... And i wouldnt say it went well... First of we all know i like to open my mouth when i see dirty sluts just walking they're shit all over the place... I WOULD SAY we all agreed when she should prob. leave the facility..... So i see her... YEAH I DID... first words out of my mouth was SLUT.... BC i was just being HONEST... Then after i was talking with i dont know who.... Kristen asked sam for a cigarette trying to get good on sam and laurens side i guess...... BEHIND MY BACK.... Like they actually would be nice to her... And sams reply is NoT FOR YOU.... She was SHOT DOWN AND BRUTALLY DENIED ACCESS..... so i was pleased to hear the sam took the plundge into bitch mode.... Always nice to hear..... Anyways i'm out bc lauren's here and we're gonna watch the door's i'm assuming..... So i'm out like dry contacts.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 1:25 AM:.
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.:Thursday, April 10, 2003:.

::This blog is dedicated to once again my favorites: TT & momma c (sam the skipper) And erik bc i LOVE YOU;)
what in sam's hell is going on with my sister.... I'm serious... I'm reading her blogs and i'm so confused... www.littleraveramy.blogspsot.com so i'm CONFUSED... K, here's what i'm thinking.... Ok number one who am i to be emotional for her tryign to be friends with jen... But how stupid can you be???? I'm serious... If one of my friends pulled that shit on me i'd be pissed and i think this shit is W I E R D... But i'm not goign to put myself into that crazy mess so whatever i guess... So yeah is should be getting in the shower so i can look half way decent tonight for sam's reconstruction of the tattoo event... So i talked to erik today and i really really really like erik... (Friend wise) I think that kid is really cool, i do. He's going through ALOT right now and it's weird bc i understand how he feels. AND i know when i felt like that i felt like NOBODY understood.... I told him if he needed ANYTHING to give me a call.... So, Taylor congratulations on you're new exhaust on the el carro... I hear it sounds really bad ass.... So like i said congratulations... TO a few certain people and you KNOW WHO YOU ARE....Thank you for the no response system activation today... Really appreciated the appreciation! Understandable.... Anyways Lauren and I played the biggest prank on sam's mom today... O HO HO HO merry christmas Brady would be so proud of me.... So here's the deal guys.... I see sam's mom in the momma van and i'm like oooooo lets cause some turbulence.... THE SETTING: Heritage and glade... Sandra is on heritage waiting at the light picking up zack and i'm on glade... No there's this stupid bitch turning out of the target place and we're at the light in front of target THAT FOUR WAY STOP.... Ok anyways so i slow down bc the light is red... THEN DAMN THE LIGHT IT TURNED GREEN!!!! So the camaro gets behind me so i can't see SANDRA! So i was like ah damn to hell... So the light turned green and i literally don't accelerate bc the point is at this point to wave to sandra to shove in her face that we STILL EXIST! And we prevail in sam's honor!!! So finally i start going when i see the momma van behind the camaro... Then we get to the stop light by 121 and glade.... THe light is green... AM I GOING TO MAKE IT YES..... so i'm wondering if sandra will make the light.... O YES SHE DOES... so i'm like holy cape canaveral.... So then i come up with this brilliant idea to go towards sam's house just to piss sandra off..... So we start to turn right and i'm like shit i hope that camaro doesnt turn right... NOPE DOESNT TURN RIGHT GOES STRAIGHT.... sweet.... So then sandra turns right... THE PRESSURE IS ON..... so then we're going down the street towards sams..... I'm like hahhahahhahah... this is gettign good... so then i come up with the idea to go towards sam's and then act like i'm turning in.... HAHHAHAh.... So we're still goign kinda fast.. Sandra has to know it's me at this point bc we're in my white mustang... Hahhahah OK i'm getting excited SO THEN.... Ok then we keep going and we're like two seconds from sam's house and i kinda half to slow down to make sure sandra see's me do the light transition.... OK she's rounding the river bend and i'm at the stop sign that's really close to sam's OLD HOUSE.... HOLY SMOKES!!! So then i get to sam's old st... and what do i do.... Kim and larry are outside the pressure is REALLY ON... when i turn my right turn signal on to act like i'm going there and then what happens........ BUM BUM BUM!!!!!!! Sandra watches the whole thing we go STRAIGHT AND CLEAR OUT OF THERE!!!! So my main point of today was to just let sandra know that i'm the main bitch and that i'm in control!!!!! IT was fun i'm not gonna lie it would have been better if sam had been in the car... HELL IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER IF SHE HAD BEEN THERE... i was going through withdrawel... NO JOKE... kinda like ross with xanex.... just kidding... But seriously i represent momma c proudly....
Anyways that was fun.... Sam's gonna be home soon that's cool... My babys gotta go to la escuela..... :) jk... But seriously guys... I really think i just douched the shower idea out... It's cool i'll jump in when i get home later tonight... I feel bad for sam bc she's in for the killing tonight.... But she'll make it... I'm out like 80's clothing....::

.:Anna blogged on 3:38 PM:.

::Amy are you alright??? I just read you're blog and i'm wondering if you're mental NOT BIPOLAR.... you might want to get back to me on that one......::

.:Anna blogged on 11:26 AM:.

::So guys.... It's thursday and the drama is shooting out the roof.... Here's what i think... Yesterday Kristen decided to call me "pyscho" to be honest i think this is quite funny esp. that its coming from HER..... I mean lets be realistic for a moment... Number one Who's been snorting x, who's been sticking the x up they're ass, and who's been taking the acid... Was it me or was it kristen???? And who is the one that has turned into a huge turbo slut myself or KRISTEN.... Yes yes i know KRISTEN.... I'm sorry kristen but you need to get you're shit together before you say anything to me.... I think that it's funny that kristen's running her mouth to ross and telling him all this bullshit that he ACTUALLY believes.... But of course he would bc.... She's 16 and thats cool... The only real reason kristen is even talkign with ross is bc he'll feed her ROLLS...... I mean we ALL know how mentally obsessive ross is with his rolls.....AND a friend to do them with is always LOTS OF FUN..... I mean you have to be to o.d 3 times in ONE WEEK.... And what's even funnier is that HE KEEPS ON EATING THE ROLLS.... I swear he is the biggest fuck up i have EVER MET IN MY LIFE..... I'm embarrased to say i actually dated him... I mean i'm serious... I just dont understand how when i was with him he actually had some sense to him then he went all nuts and started rolling like a crazy person..... Seriously though i'm getting past it all... I dont know the end of the year is almost here and then that means prom, party's all kinds of fun stuff without all this bullshit....
Anyways I'm under alot of stress right now and i guess i decided not to go to tech... I just don't want to go.. I want to chill here and be happy.... AND they're really nothing wrong with that lets be honest.... And i really dont appreciate some of the excess b/s that's been going on.... Peopel should know by now not to open they're mouths if they don't want it coming back to them. KEYNOTE: Secretly; OUT LOUD... RIGHT TT.... hahahhahahahah....... I dont know i just need time TO COLLECT My feeligns and get shit sorted out.... But some of us know how to keep our mouths shut whereas others of us feel its necessary to try to create tension... And that better stop... I'm out bc i feel like i'm rambling.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 11:24 AM:.
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.:Wednesday, April 09, 2003:.

::my letter to ross

Ross,
First off all i was doing today was calling you to let
you know that i was WORRIED.... I really dont want to
be friends be close ANYTHING... Just worried... And
all i was doing was OFFERING to help get you're ass
out of a hole you've put yourself into.. You say i'm
pyscho, jealous... OF WHAT? you and a 16 year old???
Ummm no sorry... Can't say i am... You've been rolling
so much that you can't even get you're ass to school?
Yeah thats what i thought... Why dont you check
yourself before you start labolizing me... Bc first
off i'm so much HAPPIER without you're BIG EMOTIONAL
BALL OF DRAMA.... The difference bt me and everyone
else is im sure im the first to try to get you
help.... I dont care how you take what happened today
but obv. you have some type of feeligns for kristen
otherwise you wouldnt have been so defensive.... But
sorry hun whats goes on bt me and her has NOTHING TO
DO WITH YOU.... She's a SLUT i dont like her END OF
STORY... You're STUPID if you think i dont like her bc
shes with you... oR you guys are friends... and callie
sorry we never really had a friendship from the
beginning... and honestly i dont have a place to be
mad at her in the first place... if you know what i
mean... I'm pissed bc you and everyone else has gone
on a fuckign rolling binge and can't pick you're ass'
up..... The honest to god reason ross i could never be
with you is bc you've ROLLED SO MANY TIMES CAN YOU NOT
SEE Yourself commiting suicide from loss of
seratonine???? Seriously... GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER
ROSS... DO you actually think you can do something
with your life while doing all this bullshit.. Bc
you're not always going to have you'er mommy and daddy
to take care of you and pay your bills and if you do
thats PATHETIC... I dont care what you think of me
anymore bc i know that i dont have to see you and i
dont have to talk to you AND NOW more than ever when
you fuck up i'm not to blame.... So do you're thing
ross, roll party whatever... BUT IN THE END...
straight up i'll be happier than you and you're a fuck
up for being so fucking gay to me for TRYING TO HELP
AND BE A FRIEND.... And about me and kristen I dont
care what the fuck shes doing really i dont... OTHER
THAN THE FACT thats shes fuckign up too.. AND i know
you'll tell her that so if she wants me to go into
more detail i'll say it all to her face.... You look
at everything from such a fucked up angle i can see
why you would flip out so easily... So like i said do
you're thing and have fun bc it doesnt last....
::

.:Anna blogged on 1:47 PM:.
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.:Tuesday, April 08, 2003:.

::hey guys whats up im representing the peters casa.... I have to say i'm a little FRUSTRATED.... I just dont want any drama in my life.... I DONT WANT ANY.... I'm sick of having to feel like i do. Lauren i know you're going to read this and if you don't we'll prob talk about it anyway... But i really needed to study tonight and i felt like you just got pissed off bc it was a reason to be upset... I just don't want to fail the 6 weeks knowing i didn't try.
Today at the doctors appt. i felt good and kinda weird... The lady all looked at my wrist and was like yeah that must have been a pretty big gash... I was like ummm alright...... It's wierd talking about really serious things that i've thought about and tried... Today was the first time i really talked to my mom about the attic ordeal.... It's hard for me to be honest with people about how i REALLY feel and now is a time in my life when i don't want to be involved with bullshit... NoBODY does..... So for future reference I just don't want to be involved... I'm here to be the friend.... That's about all i can do.... Back to the doctors appt. I mean it was hard as well, it's hard talkign with someone that you don't even know... Its hard becoming personal with people you've never met.... The whole time during my appt. actually i was thinking of taylor and stacy... Kinda wierd i know... But i was just thinking about all they're hardships and how much they love each other... I mean we all know it... I mean taylor and i never talk about feeling depressed or angry but i know that he's going through EXACTLY what i'm feeling.. I mean maybe not hopefully the welbutrin is goign better for him than it went for me... I just hate trying new meds... I'm so skeptical that i dont even like taking them. They all make me feel anxious and i dont want to feel like that... GOD knows i'm bad enough how it is.... And then i thought of sam, i know sam goes through alot of stuff that she doesnt even tell me about it.. It's just one of those things that i can tell by the way she looks at something or looks at herself... I know her mom is doing quite a number on her... I can't imagine how i could hold out like sam does.... Sam is so much stronger than me or at least she acts like it.... It's just funny how we all relate to each other and we're all going through some type of hardship and it's nice to know that we all have each other to hold onto.... And at the same time i know lauren is goign through a fair share... Lauren esp. doesn't like to talk about what she's going through.. But if they'res one person that I MEAN THIS ANYONE can talk to it's me... It sucks that i have been through so much and i'm so lucky... But sometimes i wish they're was someone like myself that i could really talk to... Break into their head and see what i'm seeing. I wish i had a twin.... I really do sometime... Someone that i could look at and see myself.... It's all so odd to think about..... I'm tangling my hair all up... I would love to put my hair in real dreads but i dont think i could handle shaving my head without looking like a raging lesbian out to kill the world.. But hey at least im honest... I'm supposed to be getting ready but everyone knows i really don't care.... Momma c and tt are down with the dirty.. get it... hahahah just kidding... I was talkign about all the crazy hairspray in my hair ANYWAYS.... Damn the man sam i got the fun hardship.... You're about to jump on the boat... that's cool.... Anyhow, i feel like i need to keep writing and i really really want to despite teh fact that i know i need to change... I'm wearing pajamas..
One more thing... Last night i had another dream about ross... I keep getting this feeling that something really bad is going to happen to him, and it's honestly like i dont care for him... I look at him even at his face in pictures and i'm turned of physically and mentally... But they'res still something about him that isnt letting me let go of ross even if it is subconsciously.... but i will bc i dont like douche bags for long... On a brighter note i talked to bryan today and that was good.... real nice... but im out bc i have to take my sister home... love all of you... very much::

.:Anna blogged on 6:16 PM:.

::I've learned that you shouldn't
compare yourself to others - they are
more screwed up than you think.
I've learned that no matter how much I care,
some people are just assholes.
I've learned that it takes years
to build up trust, and it only takes
suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.


****yeah i liked this****::

.:Anna blogged on 5:52 PM:.
...

.:Sunday, April 06, 2003:.

::Hello...
Can you hear me
Am I getting through to you
Hello...
Is it late there
Is there laughter on the line
Are you sure you're there alone
Cuz I'm
trying to explain
something's wrong
You just don't sound the same
Why don't you
Why don't you
Go outside
Go outside
Kiss the rain
Whenever you need me
Kiss the rain
Whenever I'm gone too long
If your lips feel lonely and thirsty
Kiss the rain
And wait for the dawn
Keep in mind
We're under the same sky
And the night's
As empty for me as for you
If you feel
You can't wait till morning
Kiss the rain
Kiss the rain
Kiss the rain
Hello...
Do you miss me
I hear you say you do
but not the way I'm missing you
What's new
How's the weather
Is it stormy where you are
You sound so close but it feels like you're so far
Oh would it mean anything
If you knew
What I'm left imagining
In my mind
My mind
Would you go
Would you go
Kiss the rain
As you fall
Over me
Think of me
Think of me
Think of me
Only me
Kiss the rain
Whenever you need me
Kiss the rain
Whenever I'm gone too long
If your lips
Feel hungry and tempted
Kiss the rain
And wait for the dawn
Keep in mind
We're under the same sky
And the night's
As empty for me as for you
If you feel you can't wait till morning
Kiss the rain
Kiss the rain
Kiss the rain
Kiss the rain
(Kiss the rain)
(Kiss the rain)
(Kiss the rain)
Hello...
Can you hear me
Can you hear me
Can you hear me
::

.:Anna blogged on 3:10 PM:.
...

.:Saturday, April 05, 2003:.

::ok guys lets play a little game... IT'S CALLED WHO AM I???? Ok first clue.. Amy i'm going to put a police order on you for no reason... Clue number two... Amy i'm a pyscho and i act like i'm you're friend but when you need me i'm OUT.... Clue number three.... I like to go back to my cheating boyfriend.... And four.... I'm still a pyscho and FAKE...... And final number five... im so selfish... I just want to keep the job you gave me so we can act like we're friends...... Who is that??? OOO yeah i know... JEN.... Holy Smokes... LIVE WITH YOUR CHEATER OF A BOYFRIEND AND LEAVE ALL OF US ALONE... You think you may know her but you have no idea.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 4:39 PM:.

::wow jen is a pyscho..... i mean goodness does she not have ANY respect anymore... i mean shit jen you've gone nuts.... Just bc you get back with matt and he fills your head with all these crazy ideas doesn't mean you should go fuck up everyones elses lives... You're a pyscho bitch... glad you're gone.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 4:10 PM:.

::Hey guys..... So i just somehow ended up reading jorden spences blog... And it was soooo funny... Like i've really never even met the guy and here i am reading his blog with my sister just laughing... So i think of got there by jenny lyons blog and i got to jenny's from kyleen's old one, so you should prob take my advice and read his blog... Anyways, i'm glad my sat taking is over... Or lets hope.. BC honestly i dont know how much more i could take.....
So today is saturday.... It's wierd with jen not being here.... I talked to lauren today and we were just like man this sucks... And lauren was like you know i really looked up to jen and now what? And i feel the same way. I'm not going to sit here and act like i don't miss her but i will say this it's not like i want to see her anytime soon NOW..... AND i think that's how we all feel to a certain extent... It's just wierd hearing my parents talk about her. Like we were eating lunch today and they were like well you know we're real sorry amy blah blah BUT she hurt them too. They really liked jen and she just douched us all out. But i'm done with jen bc i know her curiosity will get the better of her and she'll read these even if she doesnt ever write in hers anymore.. Well actually we all know what shes going to do... She's goign to create a new one so she can talk about matt all day and how much "better" he is for her... But we're all sitting her with a smirk on our faces just waiting until you see what you've really gotten yourself into.... But in the new blog jen you be sure to tell everyone about who you really are... That you REALLY DONT CARE ABOUT ANYONE BUT YOURSELF... I bet you lay in bed at night and try to justify things in your head as if you're right.... And i know in the back of your head you're going to see one day everything you just WALKED OUT ON....But more than anything else jen we should have all expected this..... Bc
"It's just another time to throw a bag over your shoulder and go find something better." Just remember that stuff really doesnt get much better than what you had... You may think now that matt really means all that stuff he's saying jen, but i pity you for believing it. Seriously i went through it a month ago and i'm not STUPID enough to go back to ross, so maybe it's just weird for me bc i dont understand why you went back to someone who would cheat on you. Are you naive enough to believe that he's not going to do it again... Bc now all you look like is someone who's desperate... Someone who couldnt stay strong and find that something better..... NO matter what you do now jen you'll always be that girl that couldnt let go..... So i'll leave it at this... Bc in all actuality this blog has been pretty mean... You deserved it though....
On a better note.... Today is saturday, and i'm wondering what i'm going to do tonight... Man i dont even feel like i can talk about tonight bc i'm going to be worrying about amy.... Bc when jen lived there they always made something to do... AND now it's like well ok... NOW WHAT.... So I talked to dustin and david last night and dustin tells me that ross douched out callie and now he's trying to get with kristen... So once again callie got the smack in the face and ONCE again she looks like an idiot.. On the other hand if she told him she didnt want to be with him props for her BUT i dont think its going to be like that... So i dont know well i hope everything goes alright tonight... oodle laddy oodle laddy....::

.:Anna blogged on 12:41 PM:.
...

.:Friday, April 04, 2003:.

::special shout out TOO.... Amy P<---- my Sis... BUTTPLUG... Skeeter... Sparta.... Bologne....<----david p... Kristen Shea.... ky to the leen<--- you were in the back of my head today.... Kyle Loonus.... And yeah thats about it for tonight and as always rossi to the jenn.... i'm out life a what??? fat trout...
amy,
I love you with all my heart, you are so very special to me. And no matter what happens with us i will always be here for you... I'm so sorry that all of this is happening to you. Bc you are such a wonderful and special person with such a kind heart.... It sucks that shit like this has to happen to someone like yourself. I will always look up to you for all that you have done for jen and esp. for me. I'll never forget all the wonderful times we have had and all the times we'll have in the future... Just remember that jen has some serious issues goign on and for some strange reason this is happening. But bob and i and the rest of our fam and esp. my friends will be there for you, bc unlike jen we're true... BC TRUE FRIENDS DONT PULL THIS SHIT..... You're on of my best, i love you... you're little sister anna::

.:Anna blogged on 8:26 PM:.

::im pissed... Jen must have thought that nobody had feelings for her... Did she really think that she could do this to EVERYONE... Not only did she hurt my SISTER but she hurt bob she hurt me, sam, and esp.lauren... All of us really cared for her and what does jen do... How can anyone person do this shit to GOOD PEOPLE and just expect for everything to be cool. And maybe she doesnt but I pity jen for her way of shyness to do this to all of US.... I mean she didnt' have the guts to be honest to bob and amy... She didnt sit down with them to let them know that she needed to go and bills were going to be tight...... She didn't do anything responsible for anybody including herself. Obv, now we all know that amy housing jen and giving her a job and doing all this shit obv, ment NOTHING.... So jen i say this to you have a great life with a guy that cheated on you and pulled this shit on you... Bc you told me once... The first TIME IT'S YOUR FAULT THE SECOND TIME IT'S OUR FAULT.... I've lost all respect for you.... Have fun with a cheater....
P.S i just wanted to add my dad got a shirt for you while he was in n.y. bc you're "like a daughter to him" obv. you didnt care about all the people you would hurt by doing this.. We're all upset... SO A BIG THANKYOU FROM US TO YOU....::

.:Anna blogged on 8:17 PM:.
...

.:Thursday, April 03, 2003:.

::hey x is the cool thing to do why dont we all do it and mess up the rest of our lives?????::

.:Anna blogged on 9:17 PM:.

::So i printed out all my blogs today... That's cool.... And i have a huge headache!!! It's like this massive volcano.... I just took some tylenol pm so i should be good in a bit.... Well i just got off the phone with bologne, david..... David always puts a smile on my face... He was like explaining why he did all the stuff he did over at ross' the other night and i was like ok... So then he was like o yeah i'm over here right now BLAH BLAH BLAH... and i was like ok cool who all is over there.. He was like o me ray and kristen and ross.... That's swell ross that lets say this when you where a junior in high school she was in 7th grade... Yeah shes a little young for you there pal... Not to mention what a little backstabbing slutbag she is... I mean lets all admit we all think she's a pyscho... I hear it almost out of everyone's mouth... It's just funny that she's really that nuts.... Alright well i'm gonna go so i can wake up early in the morning to go to la escuela.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 9:16 PM:.

::WOW I JUST WROTE THE LONGEST BLOG AND IT ALL JUST DELETED.... man i hate when that happens... SO i guess i'll try to start over again... Today has sucked real bad bc ive felt shitty emotionally and physically... I just feel DRAINED..... Here's some news... SO here's how it is for me... Everyday i go about things like ross just doesnt exist.. I deleted him from my vocabulary except when he does something stupid which is almost every other weekend... We all know how ross loves his x.... Anyways.... SO yesterday sam was like yeah me and tt are going to chris to get some stuff... And what does erik do??? Invites callie to chris' so who comes trucking after her like a puppy dog??? Ooo sweet ross.... ANd sams like wtf i'm leaving which is cool to have a friend that really hates him as much as i do... you know sam always told me that ross wasn't good for me and i SHOULD HAVE LISTENED... but things happened and i learned that you can't date someone who is mentally addicted to rolls and blah blah blah... THE good news is i know in my heart that ross wasn't THE ONE FOR ME... Really i mean lets think of it this way ross is free to roll now Obv. right... So what has he doen like crazy... ROLL ROLL ROLL.... AND let's think of this... What's ross goign to do by the time he's 30????? What???? O yeah.. I KNOW GO PYSCHO NUTS and commit suicide... I mean news to everyone but ummm yeah you can't roll as much as ross has and actually think that you can live a somewhat "happy life" So whatever... And it makes me so PISSED OFF that erik is rolling all the time and ROSS ACTUALLY gives the rolls to people... How fucked up can you BE???? I mean i was just wondering... HERE's some more interesting news.. BROOKE actually IM'D me today and was like what are you doing at home girl? ANd i was like HOLY SHIT IS THIS BROOKE... she got offline.... I'm just saying all she does is every 2 months ooo anna i love you where have you been... THen ummm yeah shes fake at school... Yeah that's all cool and great but i'm not like everyone else.. I don't play THAT HIGH SCHOOL GAME... I'm NOT going to be friends with you if you're all gay and stuff... DONT EVEN BOTHER.... I'm Past all that.... ANYWAYS... .THings are just going to shit... Really they are...I'm wondering how long i can actually work at css... I do... Bc at this point in time i'm about to scream... Jenette is always busting my ass for something and i'm like wtf you can wait one second... THen i have SAT"s this saturday... Ooo hell yeah. You know how much i love those... Anyways... Today lauren called me to come get her and i was SICK not wanting to do anything not to mention at that point in time i have a doctors appt. and she's like fine i'll call sam.. And i'm like ok cool call her, and i would have been more cool abotu it if she wasnt saying it to rub it in my face.. I mean really dont pull that shit with me... SERIOUSLY bc i'm not going to put up with it.... I'm just not... SO what's funny is sam doesnt pick up her phone so lauren has CARLOS call me back and ask if i will come get them and i'm like FUCK THAT..... So lauren leaves me a message at 12 or 1 saying hey girl just making sure you were ALL RIGHT... whatever... Sometimes i just dont know with ppl. I mean don't get me wrogn i LOVE LAUREN... THat girl has been there for me through some TUFF TUFF SHIT... I'm not denying that i just dont want to be soem limo driver.. I don't.... Anyways.... So i'm still sitting here writing about everything.... Yesterday Amy and i got into a big argument.... I think when she called me i was expecting it... She think's i'm all angry and stuff.. But i'm not. I'm just about people that are goign to be there for me when i need them not when it's GOOD FOR THEM.... And she's my sister not just SOME FRIEND.... SO i dont know... It's like ever since jen came along amy's been busy with other shit... And i know i already addressed the situation with jen to amy so she knows what i'm talking about.... I just don't like the way jen makes me feel. I feel like she says stuff like that trying to kid around with me but after awhile it just gets old..... REALLY believe it or not it does.... Soooooo, i'm sure she's trying but i dont know i'm just not about trying to work all that out with amy right now... I just need TIME. And Amy knows in her heart that i will always love her and that no matter what she's always be in my heart... ALWAYS.... AND jen and bob maybe will or not I DONT KNOW... But i do know that shes my sister and i'm more to her than they ever will be... Blood is thicker than water everyone.... So tyler called yesterday.... He called me when i was at work and i didn't pick up.... Well i couldnt pick up bc the vulture would have torn my head off... So i finally listened to it when i got home from sam and tt's..... It was nice i guess... Always nice ot hear from him... I dont really remember everything we talked about..... :) Anyhow i think i'm gonna go i've written alot and i really can't think of anything else to say other than i wish i wasn't so emotional.. But hey i'm only 18 what do you expect.... see you in the next episode.... anna::

.:Anna blogged on 12:27 PM:.
...

.:Wednesday, April 02, 2003:.

::First off, I've ALWAYS been here for anyone who needs me, IVE always been open for advice WHATEVER... i dont care what it is IVE always been there... I'm tired of putting and putting up with BULLSHIT and all the sudden when i CANT take it ANYMORE and i come out and tell the TRUTH about how i FEEL and PEOPLE THROW IT BACK IN MY FACE! What do you want me to say? You want me to lie??
But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you, to just believe this is real
So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here 'cause you want what I've got
I can't feel the way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal this damage anymore
So don't try to turn this around on me because i'm not about to take it anymore.. I'm sick of being bullshitted by people, i'm sick of dealing with all this STUPID BULLSHIT.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 12:21 PM:.
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.:Tuesday, April 01, 2003:.

::Linkin park lyrics

Sometimes I need to remember just to breathe
Sometimes I need you to stay away from me
Sometimes I'm in disbelief, I didn't know
Somehow I need you to go
Don't stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
What you were changing me into
Just take myself back and
Don't stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
Take all your faithlessness with you
Just take myself back and
Don't stay
Sometimes I feel like I trusted you too well
Sometimes I just feel like strangling you myself
Sometimes I'm in disbelief, I didn't know
Somehow I need to be alone
Don't stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
What you were changing me into
Just take myself back and
Don't stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
Take all your faithlessness with you
Just take myself back and
Don't stay
I don’t need you anymore, don’t want to be ignored
I don’t need one more day, of you wasting me away
I don’t need you anymore, I don’t want to be ignored
I don’t need one more day, of you wasting me away
With no apologies
Don't stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
What you were changing me into
Just take myself back and
Don't stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
Take all your faithlessness with you
Just take myself back and
Don't stay
Don't stay
Don't stay


**********************************************************
(When this began)
I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me
(I was confused)
And I let it all out to find
That I’m not the only person with these things in mind
(Inside of me)
But all that they can see the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I’ve got left to feel
(Nothing to lose)
Just stuck, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own
I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve felt so long
(Erase all the pain till it’s gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
And I’ve got nothing to say
I can’t believe I didn’t fall right down on my face
(I was confused)
Looking everywhere only to find
That it’s not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
(So what am I)
What do I have but negativity
’Cause I can’t justify the way, everyone is looking at me
(Nothing to lose)
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own
I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything till I break away from me
I will break away, I'll find myself today
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong
Somewhere I belong
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something long
It’s so much easier to run
Replace all this pain here all alone


*******************************************************
Something has been taken from deep inside of me
The secret I’ve been locked away where one could never see
look so different, never show,
They never go away
Like moving pictures in my head
If I could change I would
Take all the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
If I could take all the shame and the pain I would
If I could change I would
Take all the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
I would take all the shame and the blame
It's easier to run replacing this pain with something long
It’s so much easier to run
Replace all this pain here all alone
Some things I remember but thought the soul bypassed
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn’t have
Sometimes I think I’m letting go and never looking back
I never really thought so, I never realized?
If I could change I would
Take all the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
If I could take all the shame and the pain I would
If I could change I would
Take all the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
I would take all the shame and the blame
Just watch it in the sun
All of the helplessness as I’ve
Pretending I don’t feel misplaced
It’s so much simpler to change
It's easier to run replacing this pain with something long
It’s so much easier to run
Replace all this pain here all alone
It's easier to run
If I could change I would
Take all the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made
It's easier to run
If I could change I would
Take all the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
I would take all the shame with me

******************************************************

am a little bit of loneliness, a little bit of disregard
Handful of complaints, but I can help the fact, that everybody can see these scars
What I want you to want, what I want you to feel
But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you, to just believe this is real
So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here 'cause you want what I've got
I can't feel the way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal this damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
I am a little bit insecure, a little unconfident
'Cause you don't understand, I do what I can, but sometimes I don't make sense
I say what you never wanna say, but I've never had a doubt
It's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you, for once just to hear me out
So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here 'cause you want what I've got
I can't feel the way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal this damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Now
Hear me out now
You're gonna listen to me, like it or not
Right now
Hear me out now
You're gonna listen to me, like it or not
Right now
I can't feel the way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
I can't feel the way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal this damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
I can't feel
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored

******************************************

Nothin’ ever stops all these thoughts n’ the pain attached to them
Sometimes I wonder why this is happenin’
It's like nothin’ I can do would distract me when
I think of how I shot myself in the back again
‘Cuz from the infinite words I can say I
Put all pain you gave to me on display
But didn't realize instead of settin’ it free I
Took what I hated and made it a part of me
It never goes away
And now
You've become a part of me
You'll always be right here
You've become a part of me
You'll always be my fear
I can't separate
Myself from what I've done
Giving up a part of me
I've let myself become you
Hearin’ your name the memories come back again
I remember when it started happenin’
I see you n’ every thought I had and then
The thoughts slowly found words attached to them
And I knew as they escaped away
I was committin’ myself to em n’ everyday
I regret sayin’ those things ‘cuz now I see that I
Took what I hated and made it a part of me
It never goes away
And now
You've become a part of me
You'll always be right here
You've become a part of me
You'll always be my fear
I can't separate
Myself from what I've done
Giving up a part of me
I've let myself become you
It never goes away
Get away from me!
Give me my space back you gotta just
Go!
Everything comes down the memories of
You!
I Kept it in without lettin’ you
Know!
I Let you go so get away from
Me!
Give me my space back you gotta just
Go!
Everything comes down the memories of
You!
I Kept it in without lettin’ you
Know!
I Let you go
And now
You've become a part of me
You'll always be right here
You've become a part of me
You'll always be my fear
I can't separate
Myself from what I've done
Giving up a part of me
I've let myself become you
I've let myself become you
I've let myself become lost inside these thoughts of you
Giving up a part of me
I've let myself become you

*********************************************
Memories concern
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safer in my room
Unless I try to start again
I don't want to be the one
Who battles always choose
Cuz inside I realize
That I'm the one confused
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit tonight
Cultured my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I have no options left again
I dont want to be the one
Who battles always choose
Cuz inside I realize
That I'm the one confused
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit tonight
I'll paint it on the walls
Cuz I'm the one that falls
I'll never fight again
and this is how it ends
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
to show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Breaking the habit tonight

********************************************
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)
Every step I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I've becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)
And every second I waste is more than I can take
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I've becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I've becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be


***************************************************


All these lyrics are amazing... all i can say is thats how i feel....

::

.:Anna blogged on 7:15 PM:.

::ok so shit has been wierd... i admit... There are def. days i go and feel really SHITTY but i can't exclude the few days that go by where i get that moment of 10 minutes where things just feel good. I love that feeling when you think about something exciting or somethign good and you just get those butterflies in your stomach.... It's hard for me to deal with things without talkign about them or even writing them down... I feel like i have to have some way to let everything out so i doesnt get all pent up inside. And i still feel like i have alot of things that i need to say to my friends that i can't bc they feel like well its old you should be over it. But i'm trying and things are getting better. I mean what can you do.. I shoudl know out of everyone that ppl can only stop doing things themselves.. And when they're ready they will.. It just makes me mad bc i know all ross cares about is money and who he can deal to, to save his own ass.... People can be really pathetic... Blake asked me what happened to my arm today.... I just kinda blew him off like it was nothing.. accident.... But really it wasn't and really those thoughts havent left my head... People just assume since i dont talk about it that i'm ok.... It's such a touchy subject... But wouldn't it suck if sam or lauren felt like i do and i didnt' talk to them and i get a call in the morning saying one of them killed themselves... I woudl feel like shit... I don't know... It sucks not knowing how to make things work.. But i'm trying... But i can't help but think without talking.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 12:24 PM:.
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.:Monday, March 31, 2003:.

::so im pissed... not going to lie... hmmmm... so what's the deal with me and my sister.... i dont know i don't... Bc for awhile i didnt' feel like i could go over there esp. when i was upset. First there was that deal with jen and my staying late and then bob straight up asks me to leave.... I mean i dont even talk to her anymore... And you know what i thought things were gonna change and they're not soooo.... I feel like everything is so messed up and i'm TIRED of reaching out to ppl when i need them and then having in all shut in my face... And it sucks that i have to feel like this. I shouldn't have to work for friendships... NOBODY SHOULD... they should just happen. Esp. one's with you're family members. AND i'm TIRED of hearing ppl apologizing later on for "not being there" ooo everyones sorry but it's JUST A WORD... DOES anybody have advice anymore... I don't know but i do know i'm tired... Sam, TT, Lauren, and Brady and Erik for making the evening better on a happier note... adios amigos::

.:Anna blogged on 8:18 PM:.
...

.:Saturday, March 29, 2003:.

::I brought you something close to me,
Left for something you see though your here.
You haunt my dreams
There's nothing to do but believe,
Just Believe.
Just Breathe.

Another day, just believe,
Another day, just breathe
Another day, just believe,
Another day. Just breathe.

I'm used to it by now.
Another day, just believe.
Just breathe. Just believe.
Just breathe.
Lying in my bed,
Another day, staring at the ceiling.

Just breathe. Another day.
Another day, just believe.
Another day.
I'm used to it by now.
I'm used to it by now.
Just breathe. Just believe.
Just breathe. Just believe.
Just believe. Just breathe.
Just believe.
Another day, just believe.
Another day.
Another day, just believe,
Another day, just breathe,
Another day (I do believe).
Another day(so hard to breathe)
Another day(not so hard to believe)
Another day. Another day.


::

.:Anna blogged on 7:45 PM:.

::So i hear ross rolled again... GO figure... OOOO and erik rolled again.... GO FIGURE... and callie rolled but we all know why callie rolled because its the only way she can keep ross happy.... Well callie you can be "so-called" happy with ross until he's mid 20's-30's when he commits suicide bc he just can't take it anymore.... But i mean you do what you can..... I'm pissed bc two other very important people in my life chose to roll tonight too... I'm serious you people are stupid.... And that is exactly what i dont need in my life... It doesnt matter even if you think about it it's not the same as doing it... And i can't even try to accept all the stupid bullshit you people are doing. And i don't plan to try anytime soon. GGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHH............... And thankyou miss laposta for douching the whole situation out completely..... Maybe i shouldn't be selfish BUT i'm not doing so well right now so i'll do what i can..... I made a real bad ass cd and sam just turned it on.... That's what i like to hear.... Anyhow i'm ready for my life to change... I sit here on this saturday night and i'm like wow.... this is real cool that i think well of so many people and now i just DONT GIVE A SHIT..... I'm very emotional with all of the gay drama. And maybe i have to think that's why i'm so depressed right now.... I sit in my room and think and think and then i think... and think some more... about how much i hate people and they're idiotic decision making... I mean god people you grew out of middle school along time ago, RIGHT????? I guess not... I could count on both of my hands of people's faces i would love to just smack and be like you idiot.... DO you not have any sense in you, NOT AT ALL???? Also Ross Stewart you are a raging flamer... You are so stupid.... How many times have you been robbed now? 2? ummmmm 3???? oooooo wait nooo its 4 times now... Move out of the fucking complex.. You are going to be shot and killed you dickhead from hell... I wish you would get some sense knocked into you.... So yeah i'm raging. really pissed at a bunch of people that are so damn stupid.......
I really hope this evening picks up soon bc im about to go crazy..... Honestly i should worry about myself but OOOO wait i would be doing exactly what everyone else is doing... BEING STUPID AND SELFISH.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 7:36 PM:.
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.:Friday, March 28, 2003:.

::friday... friday... friday..... OOOOOOO yeah.... heres the deal partys are cool... Everyone's gonna p a r t y..... sweet ::

.:Anna blogged on 4:51 PM:.

::oodle laddy, oodle laddy... A quote from HONORABLE mention Robin Hood.... I'm home and guess what i'm excited. I've been soooooo SICK... SO here was my day at school... So i went to english and we were watching young frankenstein that was cool.... Bangash tells me his gf cheated on him, NOT SO COOL... And blake seems to think he's going to jail.. WHICH SUCKS.... But anyway i kept myself busy by reading my Jim morrison book and listening to the movie... So Blake, Carlos, Ian and i all went to Mac's for lunch... but we walked for some god forsaken reason ANYHOW johnny sees us and starts running after us and we're all like whatever.... So yeah then i call bangash and im like yeah uhhh come get me. So then i end up going back with justin, caleb and bingo.... So when i get back to class i see josh hankinson so we're out in the hall talking and to my ummm yeah wondering disbelief josh looks really hot... WOW.... Anyhow yeah so josh and i talked for awhile and then i walk into class and mr. brissman is like yeah anna you're TRUANT... and i'm like no way.... SO i'm like well then i should prob go... So i'm about to walk out when bingo comes after me and he's like uhhh anna if you stay you won't be counted truant... SO what do i do???? i stay.... SO that's my long wierd day.... Ooo and then sean d and i went and picked up trash for my MIC.... HOORAY..... Alright well it's friday and you know what that means... I'm out like a what?? FAT TROUT..... ooooodle laddy oooooodle laddy!!!!
'::

.:Anna blogged on 1:47 PM:.

::Well i'm still sick.... OODle Laddy.... I mean i'm getting better. Last night i went to bed at 6:00 and woke up at 10:30 then i was up until about 12:00 took my cough syrup and fell back asleep. IT was kinda funny though because when i woke up at 8 i was like hmmm is it 8 in the morning??? I'm a wiener... O well anyways... So i had some wierd dreams last night. Ok so first off i had a dream that i moved back to my old house in indiana and my best friend was living with me (jennifer rossi) anyways so yeah my dad moved us back and i just remember cryign and crying. And the one thing i was crying the most about was not being able to go to prom with tyler... That's wierd.. B/c i know for a fact that i think tylers hot and we have a good friendship but i'm really not obsessed. So anyhow i called him in my dream and i was like hey sorry about prom whatever.... And in my dream he was all sad and it was so wierd. Anyways... So then my second dream i was in australia or somewhere and there were beaches everywhere. SO let me set the scene... We're in this hotel room and it's about 5 stories up. There's not much in the room i'm sitting in. As you look out the window in front of me by the door you can see this amazing beach but for some reason nobody was allowed to go into the beach. If you went into the room to the right there were windows all around the room. But they're not really windows they're just plain open spaces. Now this is wierd to the right theres beaches and all these really pretty white horses and people were riding them in the ocean... And then i remember going back to the main room and i found this book called signs. And the writing at the top was all like that lord of the rings stuff. And it had all these weird celtic symbols. I remember it was real old and i was really interested in it. My dad ends up coming in and taking the book (bc it was his in the navy?) and it turns into something else and i wake up... Now that's some real wierd stuff. But my dreams are so realistic. I mean the stuff i see seems so real. Moving along. The right side of my face is in like super pain. But Miss Laposta was explained to me about my sinus' and how they hate me so that's why my face hurts. So my parenst have been real nice lately. And i have to wonder what's up... Because i don't know things were really bad i would just sit in my room and cry. And just leaving was the only answer. I can't tell you how lonely i actually felt sitting in my room by myself. I did a real number to my wrist.... My mom saw it and basically went nuts then i ran upstairs to get away from her and she came in screaming. Basically i told her to leave THEN my dad hobbles up the stairs somehow and we ended up talking for awhile. I feel alot closer to my dad now. It's nice to know that i have a part of him in me. Maybe that's why i can talk to people because i have such great parents. Anyways i still think i need to get some help. That's wierd to admit. But when situations like i was in come along i need to be able to deal with them. Bc honestly i worried myself. Alright im gonna get ready for la escuela...


::

.:Anna blogged on 8:20 AM:.
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.:Thursday, March 27, 2003:.

::This blog is dedicated to sam & t.t. My two fun fun little friends... So i was reading up on some blogs today... Not my normal hobby but i just wanted to see what was going on in the world of chhs.... As soon as i read brooke's blog i was like HOLY shit what am i doing... I don't care one way or the other about her and or her blog. Because as high school has endured some people have talked and talked but they never followed through... Like for example and i'll be blunt bc that's what i'm here for not to sugar coat anything... Brooke has always said hey anna, i love you, you mean alot to me... Now i realize at some point i shouldn't point fingers because honestly i dont care if she ever comes around or not because i know even if she did see this she really wouldnt give a shit therefore relaying to me DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT PPL WHO DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU.... I've really tried lately to not get into other ppls problems and such because i feel like i have so much going on... But Here's letting you all now that i don't give a shit if you like me or not and i really don't care how petty you have become... Because whether this blog allows people to think i grew up or just plain STAYED the same i'm cool... I don't care if you like me only in the halls because outside of school i dont have to see you.. AND when i go home at night i'm happy with the ppl i hang out with... But seriouslly nothing is worth workign out so you can say what you want behind my back or to my face but either way you're just a phase.... And i'm not pointing fingers at just one person i'm saying for ALL OF you if you're fake to me DON"T BOTHER IN even TRYING to talk to me.... Bc i will give you courtesy but when i walk off without saying anything ot anyone but in my heart i will think of you as just some person that really never grew up... So i should also add that this blog makes me feel so much better.... take this how you will... tah tah::

.:Anna blogged on 9:01 PM:.
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.:Wednesday, March 26, 2003:.

::bullshit... bullshit.. but i feel good... I don't know what the deal is... I don't know why i'm trying to blog right now... I don't... I don't really know what the deal is... i think i should prob. go lay down... I'm just going to say this... quote my good friend kyleen... You shouldn't have to work for frienship... AND that is the reason that i dont talk to half the ppl at our school.... But it's cool.... i'm out like 80's clothing..........::

.:Anna blogged on 9:39 PM:.
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.:Tuesday, March 25, 2003:.

::Turn down the lights, turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize - don't patronize me

Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't


I'll close my eyes, then I won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holding me
Morning will come and I'll do what's right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't
::

.:Anna blogged on 5:43 PM:.

::life sucks...::

.:Anna blogged on 5:36 PM:.
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.:Monday, March 24, 2003:.

::Things that I don't like
*Fake people
*When my dad is mad at me
*When my dad won't talk to me
*When my dad isn't open minded
*When my dad thinks that b/c of something small i've lost ambition
*When my mom gets mad just because my dad is mad
*When i feel depressed
*When people spread rumors
*When i feel like i'm talking to a wall
*When my parents punish me before talking to me
*When I feel lonely
*When nobody understands
*When everyday is the same
*When teachers won't let us watch the news
*When I have to listen to people fight
*When nobody has advice
*Why it's not logical to be confused about life
*Why you can't have fun, it's high school
*When my parents have to call parents to see where i am
*When i'm compared so closely to my sister (rules wise)
*When i sit and think is this all LIFE is?
*When i feel stressed
*Why i'm expected to be perfect
*When i feel sick
*When i see Ross & callie together
*When i see erik hurt himself
*When i try really hard, and nothing gets better
*When i can't sleep
And most of all when my heart is broken and nobody understands::

.:Anna blogged on 2:03 PM:.
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.:Sunday, March 23, 2003:.

::i took the blame for things today that had nothing to do with me.... All i can say to my dad is yeah it was me.. B/c that's what he wants to believe... If i said no he still would have thought i was lieing so i'll just act like everything happened the way it did... I don't care anyways.. He'll believe what he wants.... "I act like shit don't faze me, inside it drives me crazy."::

.:Anna blogged on 9:13 PM:.

::I feel empty.... I feel lonely... I feel rage and insecure, I feel like the world just keeps on happening without my consent.... I'm wondering when actually i'm going to be happy again... I wonder why i feel like being gone is my escape. I feel like i would miss my parents if i didn't live here... But the fact that i'm 18 means that as a adult i make my own decisions as hard as that might be for them to accept.... I feel like just because something small happens my dad blows it into a huge deal... I feel like my life is ending and i can't fix it.... I feel like nothing is getting any better. And i hate the fact that people are goign to look at this and think i'm looking for attention. When all i want is to be alone.... I feel like i'm supposed to say well yeah i'm lucky and i'm thankful... But what for? So people can feel better about my situation? I feel like i'm 18 and i already want to leave everything behind... And i'm scared, i am... I dont' know how to make things better.... I don't want anyone to talk to me about this.... i'm done.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 9:11 PM:.

::Jen puts it best....,"You shouldn't have to look for reasons to like someone." ::

.:Anna blogged on 9:02 AM:.
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.:Saturday, March 22, 2003:.

::all i can say is wow.... We all went to taylor's last night and guess who was there??? Ross and callie.. My pick of the litter... And the whole time i'm like THAT was what i was missing.. What a smack in MY face.... So i did my thing and was like well the hell with them.... I'm embarrased for THEM..... Easy going girls.... tisk tisk tisk.... Ho Ho Ho..... Where's Callie? Anyways... on a HAPPIER note.... Guess who got to see TYLER last night... No serious ummmm i mean tyler and i had a very nice reunion and what a relief it was to JUST HAVE FUN again.... So i got to chill with some cool people last night and got to wake up at sam's and have the boys make breakfast... And then callie played stupid with erik because SHE IS STUPID.... He's a great guy.... So whatever i'm goign to stop while i'm ahead.. Go shorty.... It's you're birthday.... i'm out like josh's nose.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 12:50 PM:.
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.:Friday, March 21, 2003:.

::Last night was WOW.... I'm goign to start early... Erik calls me at 4:00 to join him in some fun over at the voskamp casa.... So i was chilling with lauren kyleen and lauren t up at the cleaners... But erik wanted to chill and i was down so i went over there.... WELL..... erik and i end up having some fun and we decided to go drive around and THEN erik opens up to me... FULL out.... And he's talking about how he misses callie and all this shit and that ross called Callie captain two days ago... And i just start crying... I'm like what the fuck.... So he does his thing and is totally at the rock bottom... and erik just cries to me... And i'm crying with him trying to promise to him that things will be better, and that this shit doesn't last. And for some reason all of this stuff is happening and that I'LL BE THERE WHENEVER he needs someone... Which i FULLY mean. I know exactly what the two fuck ups are doing right now... And YOU KNOW WHAT IT"S OK... BECAUSE two people who have fucked up mental problems COOL WITH ME I"M OUT..... Callie's a bitch that i HAVE ZERO respect for because of exactly what she's doing RIGHT NOW... And i'm sorry but her head is just getting fucked with SO WHATEVER... She'll get what's coming to her.. I can PROMISE that.... Because all those sweet things ross said to me, he's saying to her.. And what makes her look even MORE DUMB... Is that she's believing every word of it... So we're all laughing in your face callie and we're all looking at ross like ummm HELLO YOU HAVE MENTAL ISSUES... So i dont give three shits if i ever see either one of their faces... Ross doesn't even realize that erik risked his life for him... That's so fucked up.... AND TO YOU CALLIE YOU"RE A DUMB FUCKING SLUT... REAL LOVE ACTS ON THE FUCKING MOMENT... If i saw someone fucking hurting ross i would have fucking went nuts on those guys BECAUSE UNLIKE YOU i would have risked my life for his... Something you obviouslly know NOTHING ABOUT... BECAUSE CALLIE IF erik hadn't been there you would have been fucking raped or in ths hospital... I pity the both of you for being so fuckign stupid..... Anyhow so last night i was chilling at taylor's.... And erik cried to me nonstop and i just hugged him... I will never forget what happened between us. Because i can put all my hurt away but i can't forget what she has done to him. She fucked with his head so bad... What a HUGE PYSCHO bitch... But whatever... So anyhow tyler came over to taylor and sam's... It was so wonderful to see him... I mean i was like WOW you are really hot and i can't believe that ive been all hung up on ross about this shit.... So tyler and i end up kissing. WOO-HOO... And i was like damn i forgot how good of a kisser tyler is because frankly ross isn't... But whatever... So I had a bad switch to good time and it was cool that i got to chill... Tonight's gonna be bad ass because whats my motto live it UP..... ::

.:Anna blogged on 1:25 PM:.
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.:Wednesday, March 19, 2003:.

::Ummm douche bag's will be douche bag's.... I'm like woah nelly WHATEVER..... make sense?::

.:Anna blogged on 9:01 PM:.

::Hmmmmmm..... well i'm over ross... Good ONE anna.... I'm over him, not quite over the fact that he's with CALLIE... the moment of dread.. as we all close our ears and hope another word hasn't come out of her mouth... But seriouslly guys.... T-sharp is coming in town tomorrow and let me tell you how very excited i am..... First of all i do need to get a few things STRAIGHT.... Let's see here... Number one I havent talked to my sister in days... CHECK... Number two Haven't seen my sister in days... CHECK and Number 3 I still think things are wierd with the whole situation... CHECK... And Ross still hasn't figured out that you can't fix a problem with a PROBLEM... CHECK... and let's see I think it's funny that people think they can find love in 2 weeks.. CHECK.... And most of all i hate cleaning my room SO i resort to blogging....So I know exactly what's being said to callie, o baby o baby i'm in love with you.... More like callie i need someone as a crutch because i'm EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE.... Wow that felt good.... On a happier note.. Like i said tyler is coming IN TOWN tomorrow... Lauren sent me the cutest text message that said the love boat is going to harbor at you're dock tomorrow.... hahhaha.. She can make me smile... So sam's sick... Damn the man, save the empire.... HOLY SHOMOLY's... I'm really supposed to be up at the cleaner's but i really havent been putting my real thoughts down lately because i've been caught up in such a disaster with ross' like I SAID emotional whereabouts.... So whatever... Man i do have to lay my hat down for ross getting his head beating in... Darn those head beaters... CHECK... ooooo ok i'm just kidding... Those of you who know about the evening disaster know what i'm talking about... YOU BROKE MY JAW.... whatever.. seriously though... Man i'm gonna have to be out like a fat kid in a health food contest.... Word::

.:Anna blogged on 2:21 PM:.
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.:Tuesday, March 18, 2003:.

::i wrote this awhile ago and needed to see it again....
I am totally overcome with emotion... The moral of my blog is plain... It makes me wonder what people think goes into a traditional recipe for popularity.... It's peculiar to me to think that people fashion their lives to be only concerned about physical appearnce and i wonder do they think about at all what the impression they place on everyone else???? Customary to popular belief it's really not all about WHO you're boyfriend is, what he does, who you hang with, what you're wearing, what you'll be doing this weekend.. I mean give me the break... PLEASE... I'm sick of looking at people who really DON"T know what life is about... I have so much respect for people who are actually going to do something with their lives. PEOPLE who are GOING to actually make a DIFFERNCE in this world of black and white.... IT's about how you take the opportunity given to you. I just need more strength to see things differentlly from everyone else. i need to confront issues left in crevices that i'm scared of. I want to think i'm growing up slowly if nothing else. I hate the feeling when you really hate how things are in you're life... All i want to do is leave , and i know i'm just going to be just as lonely when i get wherever i want to be. There are words blurring through my head now so this will be random but i have to get it out...
portray something you're not, adolescent, different, visualize to the highest degree of what you can be, how can you construct what someone else already built, lack of individuality, brief span of life, wandering people lost in their own thoughts, jealous enemies, inflamed by passion, demands of virtue, overcome with emotion, strength that i don't possess, consider what you could have been, what you are now.... modern images, important or unimportant, enjoy yourself right? discouraged, annoyed or angered, intelligent amidst signified information, transparent in a world of color, no connection to reason, dramatic persons, adversity, limited selfless, surrounded, thematic relationships, flow, vangrancy, unnatural, who do you associate with? Do you shame yourself?::

.:Anna blogged on 5:14 PM:.

::what does independent mean to me.... Hmmm as i sit here and think i have to wonder when i'm going to be happy being independent.... i Hear that ross and callie are back together... HMMMM... I guess i dont care because i know ross is with her because he feels he has to be with someone and i guess its just her.... It's cool though because everyday i do my thing and i see all my guy friends that i've missed so much... Still I wonder when am i going to be happy without having to rely on the things i am right now... Time heals everything and one day ross will see what he missed out on and what he's messing with right now. You can't fix a problem with a problem... ::

.:Anna blogged on 5:07 PM:.
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.:Saturday, March 15, 2003:.

::well... well.. well..... Thankyou Thankyou For giving my those messed up dreams last night.... Here's my dream... Ross is there THE WHOLE time..... Like i remember we were at his house and he looked at me and he was like anna will you lay with me? And i was like what??? And then i woke up WIDE AWAKE at 9:30.... Ummmm does Ross feel at all the same way i feel? I mean how did all of this stuff just happen. I feel like i've just grasped all that has happened... So i'm confused, and i miss ross. I feel like i can't ESCAPE MYSELF... During the day i wonder around like i'm ok... then i go do my thing to forget about everything and then i go to sleep to think i won't think of ross.. AND HE'S IN MY DREAMS!!!! So i'm obviouslly not OVER ross like i thought i was.... I miss him... basically::

.:Anna blogged on 9:09 AM:.
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.:Friday, March 14, 2003:.

::lauren comes home today.... yes!!!!!!!!!!!
Sam is starting on her way home today! YES!
EVERYONE is COMING HOME!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
I'm so VERY EXCITED!!!!!
::

.:Anna blogged on 1:08 PM:.

::*****Hahahhaha i just had the best mental picture ever.... To Amy & Jen.... & BOB <---- because it's about you.
So who can imagine Bob in a truck driver's hat rolling all around in a huge semi with a toothpick hanging out of his mouth.... And to make matter's even worse to the better side.. Bob has a huge potbelly while wearing to compliment his round ham a white tee shirt with stains... I mean i don't know why that came into my head.. BUT it did.... I think i'll laugh about that for the rest of today....
::

.:Anna blogged on 1:07 PM:.

::oooooooooooooooooooo NELLY... I have to wonder why is ross being so nice right now... Bc i didn't ask him to write me back from that last letter.... To be honest i shouldn't care and really i don't to a certain extent... What ross does in his own time.... really has nothing to do with me...
So i went out with Mr. Nicholas Diaz last night.. We went and saw a movie and then just sat and talked at Waffle House.. I had alot of fun i'm not gonna lie. He's moving into his new apartment today so that's really cool for him. We had some really really really great conversation and im really glad we got to chill last night.
So i just got back from tanning and then i had to go to the Doctor's office to pick up some medicene... And who do i see in the doctor's office??? My old pal Brittany Ellis... But we both were real cool about things.... I told her, and i meant it that i hope everything is going good for her... I'm wondering how Amy is doing today... I've really worried about her and i put all 3 of them in my prayers last night. But I'm just sitting here thinking about hot boys and summer so i'm gonna go lay down... I slept really bad last night...

::

.:Anna blogged on 1:02 PM:.
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.:Thursday, March 13, 2003:.

::my thoughts....
l
l
V::

.:Anna blogged on 4:52 PM:.

::I understand that at this point in time all I am is a
girl that loved you for a brief period of time.... But
Ross you as well as any other person know's that in
LOVING someone you don't stop caring... It doesn't
matter if you move on fall in love with someone
else.... You STILL CARE... And i can't help BUT worry
when i hear shit from my best friend that you're
hurting yourself.. I don't mean to argue with you...
But how do you expect me to go about the situation...
I called before i jumped to conclusions... I mean this
shit sucks.. BUT when you act the way you do by saying
things like, did you call to argue? i mean honestly
NO.... give me a break... IF i called to argue i would
have been yelling.... From this conversation it's
enough for me to know now that i can't help you.
There's nothing i can do for YOU... All the decisions
you make are YOUR OWN.. and from those YOU have to
live with them.. I worry because everytime you roll
you say well i'm done or whatever and everytime you do
it.. YOU FEED A PROBLEM... Get on medication, get
help... BUT STOP DOING THIS STUFF TO YOURSELF.... You
mean more to people than this and it's NOT WORTH IT..
You're 19 move on with your life and MAKE SOMETHING OF
YOURSELF.... You're a good person with a GREAT
heart... I've never lied to you so there's no POINT in
starting now.. I meant what i've said if you need a
friend i'll be here... But there's nothing i can
do.... NOTHING... And when this weekend comes and
everyone is getting in touch with all the fake that
comes with rolls you think about school, think about
you're family, and think of how rolling is going to
help you in life... YOU DON'T NEED IT... Take this as
lecture or not but one day when you get things
together i hope you look back at all this and think
i'm GLAD someone stood up to tell me something good
for me....(You know the difference) You'll be in my
heart, prayers whatever... You don't need to say
anything back to this... Just take it in and think of
it as a friend to a friend... GOOD ADVICE...

::

.:Anna blogged on 4:50 PM:.

::Pray for you're friends and those you love.... it's all that you can do::

.:Anna blogged on 4:33 PM:.

::DC5Rastafarian: Anna, I would like to be able to talk to you. I just dont want to alwasys have to talk about bad stuff, and thats what was going on. I dont need to have any negative conversation w/you
APeters03: why do you persist in going about things so you're life will be worse?
APeters03: i worry about you because i care
APeters03: i dont know any other way
APeters03: i dont want to ARGUE
DC5Rastafarian: I dont either
APeters03: ross when sam told me that my heart dropped
APeters03: but i dont know that i can be the way with you that i may want... as in friends...
APeters03: what am i supposed to say
DC5Rastafarian: i dont know
DC5Rastafarian: pizza here bbl
APeters03: call and be like hey i havent talked to you how are you?? then we would just get off the phone like is that really needed
APeters03: i love how you blow everything off...
APeters03: go eat you're pizza and i'll talk to you in a few days weeks whatever i can't deal with all of this... i thought being friends was what i needed but you have issues that you need to DEAL with.. YOU"RE A GOOD PERSON with a great heart so why do you do the things you do to yourself??? Move ON with YOUR life AND BE HAPPY and leave all this stupid BULLSHIT...
DC5Rastafarian: I dont know what to say, everyone was planning on doing it this weekend and I dont think that I'm gonna soooo maybe therez a step? hope so
::

.:Anna blogged on 4:33 PM:.

::Well i'm emotional, sad, indifferent, confused, jealous BUT i'm moving on. I want to say this my friends ALL MY CLOSE FRIENDS have been out of town this week. And i've really looked foward to seeing not only amy but jen as well to keep my mind off things. And i guess now all i can do is back off.. And i mean that, and it sucks a real fat one... How lucky for me to know that i can't chill at my sister's later than usual and or feel compfortable just BEING there.... I dont know what was said and the real intentions but it's cool that i have to feel this way being amy's sister.... I dont even want to talk about this i have one more day till lauren is home and then i can go back to not having to deal with bullshit while my heart is being mended... Congratulations anna... for the support...
On a brighter note a got a bomb ass dress.... My mom found it at first and was like oooo anna this dress is sooo pretty... O wait it's $450 put that back on the rack.. Well i had never tried on one of those gorgeous white dresses.... So i try it on and.... Well let me say this i really didnt' want a bad ass dress i just wanted something fun and cool for the evening... BUT this DRESS, this dress started TALKING to me saying i look really good on you what are you talking about!? So My mom SHE WOULD find a rip at the bottom of this gorgeous dress.... OOO this can't be fixed! TOO BAD FOR YOU ANNA... but wait that cute little sales girl runs up we can have that fixed FOR free.. get the dress... So she takes it to the owner and he take 50 off of the price.. Well that's cool and THEN the owner says the next person to buy there dress gets 50 off so the girl runs to the counter and we get the bad ass dress and blah blah blah... So my mom ends up paying 349 for a 450 dollar dress... So it's cool. The dress may be a LITTLE much but i love it and it's cool because this is my last prom and why not LIVE IT UP....
I saw christion yesterday wooooo mamma he's soooooo HOT.... wwwwooooooooooowwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!::

.:Anna blogged on 9:22 AM:.
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.:Tuesday, March 11, 2003:.

::what's the point? I mean really what's the point of saying you LOVE someone, and then they just don't expect you too CARE???? So what do i do?? Nothing... sad but true::

.:Anna blogged on 10:35 PM:.
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.:Monday, March 10, 2003:.

::ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh things are amazing.... so much good news. AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh everyoen SMILE!!!!!!!!!::

.:Anna blogged on 8:00 PM:.

::I was driving home today from maggie's.. and i was looking at the back of this truck and it said, "Don't take life too seriously, because it's not permanent.." And then something clicked i'm sitting here the past few days being all emotional about not being with ross when ummm i'm 18 people... 18 not 24.... So i'm cool, plus i talked to derek today and he made me feel so much better. But i'm gonna go.. I want to make a shout out to Leo!!!! Raph... Ninja POWER... Kyle the X-convict and umm of course samerango... representing the cali woo-hooo. ooo and tyler because let's not deny the may 15th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm out like a fizzout trout.. OOOOO hold up there it is... New shout outs to the best people... AMY the sashquash, Jenn the gas blower of Tejas.. and bob the BUTTPLUG.. who sent me some great pictures of BUTTPLUGS.... yes! Just kidding im out... love everyone... Live it up::

.:Anna blogged on 1:06 PM:.

::*Don't take life too seriously, because it's not permanent...*

*In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life-it goes on.-Robert Frost*

*"If you are ever going to see a rainbow, you have got to stand a little rain."

*Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment. - Jim Rohn

*If you would live your life with ease; do what you ought, not what you please. -unknown

*Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life.- Burton Hills

*Yesterday is but a dream, and tomorrow is only a vision, but each day lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of hope. - unknown::

.:Anna blogged on 1:00 PM:.

::bob thanks for the butt plugs.... I mean for sending them to me by email... laugh it up... :)::

.:Anna blogged on 8:55 AM:.

::I dont know why to say i had a good relationship with ross... I mean i thought it was good then things just went to shit. How the HELL did all this shit happen... I mean things were ok they started being not so great then ross goes completely pyscho... And i'm sitting here going wtf???? I mean its so stupid when i look at the whole big picture and i have to think that ross needs to handle his issues better than this.. I mean i really dont want to be back with him either so why do we have to fight and he stupid??? There's NO POINT... unless your a giant douchbag... I mean i'm completely serious. This is rediculous and ross needs to get off this high perch he has put himself on... IT's like ross is dying to be happy so much and then he just lefts everything fall apart only to be more unhappy... well whatever i really hope one day he finds happiness on his own... in the meanwhile while i can never be back with him i still love him and that sucks.... As for amy and jen you both are at work and i miss you guys... ::

.:Anna blogged on 8:54 AM:.
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.:Sunday, March 09, 2003:.

::Lauren brought up an excellent point today... My feelings for ross end and lay here. In losing ross i lost not only my boyfriend i lost a good friend & that maybe i'm not so upset about losing him in general i'm sad that i lost a friend that i could trust & someone i was comfortable with. I lost a habit that ross and i created. I can't really figure out why i'm so upset even with all of this good advice. I guess it's like this when i wasn't with sam or lauren or any other guy friend, i was with ross. I'm gonna miss going overe there seeing him, smelling the candle that scented his apartment.. I'm going to miss our daily breaks to the patio, the going out to eat. Holding his hand & looking into his eyes for security. I'm going to miss laying on the couch with him, the look on his face and the hug when i walked into his apartment. The goodbye when i left and all the i love you's. I'm not sure why ross decided to give up all the good times to the "quote bad times" I guess the end to this is a new beginning for me. i'll miss ross and i still care for him but the good news is life will go on with or without ross.... I'm glad things are working out like this because i'm getting to spend time with people i've really rejected... I'll write more tomorrow.... word::

.:Anna blogged on 1:33 AM:.
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.:Friday, March 07, 2003:.

::let me add really that im just sick... let me just add that i don't really give a shit about what goes on anymore. From now on I'm going to be happy and if you're in to make my life worse by being immature and gay do it on you're own time and stay the fuck away from me.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 12:26 PM:.

::i wrote that last letter today... i just want to scream::

.:Anna blogged on 7:10 AM:.

::Ross,
I woke up this morning in tears... I mean I have bad
dreams in shit but this was really bad. You died in my
dream last night and i just remember just crying and
crying... It sucked so bad because when i woke up all
i could feel is the numbness of last night. I feel
like we're falling apart again, and i hoped that we'd
actually stay together for longer than 3 months. I
should have grasped the thought that things don't last
forever i guess. I miss you so much and we havent seen
each other in two days... I know i fucked some shit up
yesterday but like you said it didn't need to get that
blown out of proportion..... Erik and Taylor told me
that you were going on and on about how annoying i
was being.... I didn't know that you really felt like that
about me. I don't know how im supposed to express what
i feel. Because everytime i think this is right i cry
and then im like what are you talkign about... I'm
going to be straight up honest with you i met someone
else that im thinking it could go somewhere... BUT
ross all i care about is you and i first want things
to work with us.. Because i dont love anyone else but
you. But if you're truley unhappy i love you enough to
throw in the towel.. But i'm not coming back, i
can't.... As much as it might hurt you or myself it's
just the best decision. I really want you to think
about this because i can't go through this shit every
two weeks becasue you get like 50 tests or something.
I'm here for you no matter what and i'll be your
friend... I just dont' want you to miss me the day
after tomorrow and realize that you screwed up. I also
wanted to add that you made me feel really really
really bad about myself yesterday. Because ross things
arent as bad as you make them to be and you say that i
can't make things work.... I have no idea what that's
about and most of all i don't understand how one
second everything is so great and the next you're like
anna we need to be done... How do you expect me to
understand all this shit if you SAY you're going to
call me back and don't.... All i want to do is talk
because i'm missing you so very much. I just dont'
want things to go back to how i felt last week... Just
remember all the good things for now instead of
concentrating on all the bad... Until then i'll go out
tonight have a good time and try not to think about
things and i guess you do the same.... Until we talk
again........... Love you
::

.:Anna blogged on 7:09 AM:.
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.:Thursday, March 06, 2003:.

::you'll never see this but i need to write it....
Ross......
Lots of things going on in my head as i write this.... I mean you always let me see how things really are.... I mean a mention a break then you want it too and then i want everything to keep going then i just realize... that things will go on... And then i feel like everything is meant to be like this. It's not so bad... Really i always said we could be friends and i would be cool with that... It's almost like i'm ready for this it was only to be expected, right? There's no question that i love you but there is question to whether i can be with you. I understand there are many things about me that you can't deal with... AND THAT'S ok.... Because i found myself picking apart everything about our relationship.. I only worry because i wonder how'll you feel when you're lonely and miss me.. And maybe you won't... But on the other hand if we're over i can't do this again... I can't make it work again...
*** I already feel better.....****::

.:Anna blogged on 9:46 PM:.

::i would rather be anywhere but here..... :-\::

.:Anna blogged on 9:21 PM:.

::i miss you amy and jen....::

.:Anna blogged on 9:14 PM:.

::what can i say i feel LONELY... i mean here's the whole big deal out in the open... There's a guy that i'm interested in NOT ross... And have been for awhile... It was turnign my feeling away from ross and i really didnt know until YESTERDAY that i wanted to be with ross..... So last night i called him... Ooo hunny i love you blah blah.... Today i call him hunny i love you.... Ummm and all ross could think of to say is something that would bring me down... Thank the lucky stars... So i was at first thinking ooook well if ross breaks up with me that's lettign me go free and i can just be happy..... And then i dont have to go through with the trouble... But i have that little voice in the back of my head saying ummm yeah anna you like ross... you care about ross.... AND im sitting her thinking what am i supposed to do... Look to the future, go out with my boys do my thing or do i sit and wait..... Like a cold turkey... Hahahah at this point in time something like that would be funny. I'm boggling my mind right now at how i'm writing all this stuff down.... I've really written alot........I rejoined my old fetish today... Good Reunion..... I was pleased with the results... VERY... Anyways to make matter worse this particular guy text'd me and was like what's up basically and im like ooooo hmmmm..... AND another thing... T sharp comes back may 15 am i ready for such a serious commitment with ross.. Because tyler and i have always had a thing... It's just one of those things that you don't let go because its just there.... I don't know but either way i do know i care about ross i just can't figure out what's good for me... There are alot of things i want to accomplish and i can't do them with ross... IF things are really as bad as ross seems to think they are maybe i should just open my eyes again and be like well shit i dont really care.. I'm just sick of going through this. But i will say this if ross and i do break up there's no way i'm going back.. EVER and as hard as that might be i'll be through... So for now it's anna be happy with yourself and forget about ross and all the problems.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 9:12 PM:.

::ross you are a douche bag and i hate that you always throw shit back in my face... There are so many people i could be with and i wonder why you act like you're the only one.... It really kills me to think that you hold everything in your hands because in all reality you really don't... SO it will really suck to be you when you are soooo Lonely and no one wants to be with you::

.:Anna blogged on 6:21 PM:.
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.:Wednesday, March 05, 2003:.

::Do DO DO do DO do DUm de DUm DUm de Dum dooodle Ooodle cah bang bang shimmmy... Rangle oooo fiddleey dooo dah samma... Blogging tonight on anna03.blogspot.com.... Here i go no chicken n stars, cheetos or sunkist... But i'm ready.... OOO yeah.... Happy, Happy..... Kill the prime minister of Malaysia!!!!!!!!!!!! So Ross already fell asleep. Great Job leaving anna to wish she was talking to someone. Oooo sigh.. Which remings me of Sai the photo lab guy.... Man i felt soooo sorry for Robin Williams in One hour photo.. Esp. when his car window gets broken in.... That made me want to cry cry cry.... Speaking of crying. My mom cried at the car dealership.... So i really like my mom's new car... I hijacked it today and was like oooooooooooooooooooo weeeee.... It was fun fun fun... I think kate was like umm anna whats going on, take me home right NOW. i was like ooo shut up poooopey pants.... No really i wasnt like that.. BUT MY grandma was.. Just kidding.... oooooOOOooo hahhahahhah........... Ooo guess what happened to me tonight... O did i run out of gas on 121 exiting harwood... Ooo did cars speed by me 100 miles and hour.. YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean when i see a car on the side of the road i always move to the next lane so they dont feel emotional but its those little jack-ass' that sit in there car... (and i know most of you do this and if not, those of you that do know who you are) anyway they sit in the car and they're like hahah sucks to be you... And so they try to run you off the road going to FAST...... They dont think about if that person was sick... LIKE ME... or if that person had someplace they had to be... LIKE ME... So i hope you all think about you're decisions driving in the next few weeks... Because my expierence tonight sucked what????? ASS.. Jenn just called me a BUTTPLUG... or was that bob... i wonder anyways....That can't be good. I mean i asked her the main question. "Jen what would you do if you were a tampon????" And she acted like she was the MAIN tampon and was like i would beat up all the poor maxi pads.. I was like you bitch why would you do that... I mean i really wasnt... Bc i love jen and she can wooop ass for real.. SUBWAY FIGHT.. but enough of that the poor maxi's i guess shes had some bad expierences if you know what i mean.... Jk.... Anyhow i'm not one to stay on a subject long so i'll move on... So jenn thinks shes a main tampon... HO HO HO i'm just kidding.... It's NOT CHRISTMAS... It's shit hole wednesday.. It's anna how about you're ears bleed today day and how about you go to S A T class day and ANNA why dont you get stranded on the side of the road so you're parents excuse me parent... a.k.a darlene.... YELL AT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! O for the love of my guinea pig. My mom sure loves to yell it's her favorite thing to do. She acts like im some homeless person that she hates... But it's cool i live UPSTAIRS... Away from the maddness... My dad is getting surgery tomorrow. He broke his leg. I mean he pulled something NO I DONT KNOW WHAT its called. Some hercules thing.... He's acting like he's all cool about it and in all actuality i think he feels like a naked chicken but hey that's just a guess. Spring Break is next week hey fuckshits thats cool right? Yea and blogging is too... I've had some real fun lately more fun than usual i wonder what the deal is.. I mean i write one sentence and i'm like ooo hahahha i got stranded on the side of the road.... OOo shit son.... GET OUT OF MY FACE.... just kidding. Man i wanted a burrito so bad today... And i had to settle for mcdonalds.... no biggy i'll make it. I'm interested to hear how next week bahamas trip is going to work out..... I'm hoping it will make the gossip news column of next weeks... I really didnt' mean that... I just know that colleyville loves to talk and they love to talk about the real people. That's why i've created the club called eat shit and die you stupid gossip clowns.... Seriouslly everyone can join until you talk shit then shit you're out.... Like a fat trout kinda like me....... i'm done for tonight... word::

.:Anna blogged on 9:01 PM:.

::You know what i really like those songs that when you hear them you're like wow i haven't heard this song in a long time... And you know what i really like this song it makes me happy. I mean i haven't listened to sugar ray in awhile and last night, "when it's over came on..." and i thought of brent mascarro when i dated him last year... I always used to listen to that song and i like it alot.. I think when i'm emotional i need to listen to some music that i really liked at one time and then it always tends to just make me smile. On a sad Note or should i say i'm pissed off note. Ummm thankyou my ear was bleeding today. Who's ear bleeds? So I went to the doctor on monday and i was like yeah my ear hurts... And the doctor was like it's fine... You're fine. I was like you're gay and i left. Ok ok so then i got out of the shower and i cleaned my ears... Because i'm obsessed with having my ears clean... O yeah there's blood all over the q-tip.. So i'm like what the... I called my mom and was like my ears bleeding that's ABNORMAL.... so i went back to the doctor to see another lady... Well she informs me that i have not one BUT TWO like i thought ear infections... OOO THAT's great. So then she informs me that wow she hasnt seen a ear infection that bad in a long time and she can def. see where on the outside of my eardrum it is most def. BLEEDING..... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh. Then it's so bad i get the oppt. to take a shot in the hip! No not in my arm why? Because this particular shot BURNS when it goes in... REAL BAD for like 20 minutes after you get the shot..................... I was like ooouch ouch ouch get the needle out......... but guess what the needle was already out... THE SHOT was burning... I thought my hip was on FIRE..... I swear it was bad... I'm just now recovering.... And my ear finally feels a little bit better. And so my mom is like you're not going to school but you get to go to SAT class lucky you... I was like o thanks shoot me later. But still jen read the blog.. That's very sweet of you to write that stuff... its always nice to know people enjoy you're company/gas..... No i'm just kidding again... But seriously AMy to you i really hope you and bob work everything out i love you both very much... I'm gonna go i'm talking to c bac online and for some reason the conversation is actually going good...::

.:Anna blogged on 12:06 PM:.
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.:Tuesday, March 04, 2003:.

::I'm wondering what in sam's hell i'm doing right now.... Im talking with someone i havent talked to in a long time.... WIERD..... I just got off the phone with Ross. He's emotional we all know why........ I dont know what to say because i'm in a wierd position to say the least.... I really should be going to bed considering how tomorrow is going to be such a long day. Considering i wake up, go to goverment and english, go see ross if i'm lucky... go to SAT class then come home..... Blah..... And i'm wondering how Amy & Bob's conversation went... Jen and i got to talk for awhile today that's nice. I now know that Jen has feelings for Mr. Anthony... That's cute....I feel like i have alot in my head right now but i really dont want to write it all out. I've got alot of emoitions going on really i do.... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... Boys are the kill..... I mean they kill me. Anyway i felt kinda wierd going to amy's tonight... Sorry guys if you read this it's my blog and i have to be honest... I felt wierd.. Normally i feel real welcomed and it could have been because of the situation but i felt like they were like why are you here????.... I dont know it was wierd and i know i'll ultimately get over it... Really i will.... Ok i'm going to be because hey seriously i need to be able to wake up tomorrow. Till tomorrow.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 9:59 PM:.
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.:Monday, March 03, 2003:.

::ok i just made some chicken n' stars grabbed the cheetos and the water and i'm ready to blog. Earlier this evening i wrote a bad ass blog... DAMN this computer... Ok but i have good things to say so its all good.... First topic ROSS.... O for the love of boys... Im sure everyone already heard about this weekend... I love how personal news travels... So here's the deal... I love ross and this shit doesn't just go away... On the other hand i wonder what the deal is with me. Like i want things to be perfect but i'm like what's the point if i'm not happy i'm not going to be happy. I can't figure out if i want things to work out or i don't... Because i'm happy when i'm not with him and happy when i am with him so i don't know... Things are wierd... But i think they could get better or am i just telling myself that... I REALLY don't know.... David had a bad ass party this weekend where i got the opportunity to meet some new people.... Am i interested i don't know.... Anyhow my ice in my water has already melted.... Thank you ice cubes for bailing on me.....
Moving along so to amy and jenn my blog earlier was so bad ass i mean i was talking about amy having "saves"----> (her work lingo....) today and me thinking of her saving an old man from a lake.... not to mention that the lake was only 2 feet deep.... And imagining bob wearing a party hat while looking at the fat chicks n party hats website and patting his head while rubbing his belly screaming, "fatshits, you are all crazy hams, I'm going to eat you..." I mean that would make me laugh..... I said some great stuff about jen ripping ass... I mean seriously the girl can rip ass... I imagine one day she will actually rip her anal... No i'm just kidding... Hahahhah no seriouslly guys.... O man i just thought i deleted everything again.. BUT I SAVED MY SANITY.... ooo thank you... I'm really excited that we didn't get bombed today.. I mean that's cool. But seriouslly amy & jenn lets go on the patio sometime and throw rocks at the pedestrians and then duck... wouldnt that be a real funny joke.... But seriously guys... Man i just took a huge bite of the cns and i started coughing i almost spit everything out!!!! Anyways, I love reading amy & j's blogs.. I find much interesting information through there blogs makes me a happy camper... O my dad ripped something in his leg today.. He has to have surgery... POOR BURRITO.... i think he'll be ok... My mom has finally decided to get rid of big blue a.k.a the house... I mean i'm not gonna lie when i say im excited... Really i am... They've decided to trade her in for a new grand jeep cherokee i mean thats cool... I'm sure my mom will miss big blue like she misses her love seat rocker... She still cries about that....
So back to the blog and its meaningfullness... acutally no back to this bad ass helicopter game... Amy and jen i love you two rat snakes... You guys are great...... I love you both... very much.... everyone im out like a fat trout....::

.:Anna blogged on 9:43 PM:.

::im pissed because i just wrote the most bad ass blog and now its gone...
::

.:Anna blogged on 5:41 PM:.
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.:Saturday, March 01, 2003:.

::code blue: Taylor is a beater.... and he should be shot with a raccoon ass.... speaking of raccoon ass im holding one..... Man alot of crazy stuff went on last night.... Made me worry alot but everyone should remember that i'm the regulator..... Anyways sam is going to get a tattoo today.... How nice entering the world of tattoos.... So my phone bill was way over and im going to be shot by my prarents... NO GOOD... Not only that theres alot of shit going on right now that is no good.... Plus Ross and i got into a fight last night.... GO FIGURE.... I hate when he gets mad at me for the stupidest things.... AND nothing i say makes anything better.. But whatever things will work out... im out::

.:Anna blogged on 10:46 AM:.
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.:Tuesday, February 25, 2003:.

::I need to get out!!!!!!!!!!! I'm like a trapped mouse in a cage..... I'm so sick of being in my house i'm dieing I REPEAT dieing.... I'm serious all day tomorrow the ice is gonna be chillin' in grapevine and i'm gonna kill myself... I mean be serious guys if you're cooped up in you're house for too long you're bound to go nuts!!!!! I figured some stuff out tonight.. Such as I am a very needy person and this has got to stop... But in order for it to stop it means not being with ross... And i want to be with him BUT i need to do what's right for me... WOW i'm confused. I know that i'm happy when i'm with him but i'm scared and unhappy when i'm not with him. I have so many bad thoughts that go through my head and my medicene is making me nuts but i'm scared to stop taking it... OOOOOOOOOOOO what to do, what to do... I LOVE ROSS but whats the deal... I hate feeling second.. And i used to be SO HAPPY with him.. I guess i need to give it a few weeks to see how things go.... My room is a reck and that makes me UNHAPPY... You would figure that when i start taking this shitty ass medicene i would start feeling better.. UMM No i dont feel like that i feel like a pyscho bitch seriously.... And at least i'm being honest.... It's really hard for me to be honest with ross when i feel like this. I dont know how to explain that things in my head are not right... I just need to be with my friends i need to be out! THIS wrong morally. Then i think hey anna, do you really think you need to be out in this... NO... But who cares if we get in some wreck in the first place beacuse really who would you open you're eyes to see? Blah blah blah.... i have these feelings where i think i know what i want and then i'm like what the hell are you saying???? Like what are you talking about anna, you don't want to be with ross... That's not talking crazy or anything. And i'm totally contradicting myself.... I havnet talked to amy and or jenn in like 2 days thats wierd... I feel like they have become a source of my relief... Jenn always knows what i'm goign through and amy always puts a smile on my face.... alright i'm gonna go before i go crazy... what to do someone tell me!::

.:Anna blogged on 6:57 PM:.
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.:Monday, February 24, 2003:.

::Too many words better to hold fast to the center.....
Truthful words are not pretty which relates pretty words are not truthful
::

.:Anna blogged on 7:28 PM:.

::Hmmmm... I'm at home listening to Incubus... My source of keeping my sanity... Awww the sound of music... Anyhow, i'm locked in the prison cell a.k.a my room.... I've got ALOT to talk about considering my boyfriend doesn't like to talk on the phone... REAL cool i know... I can say i'm scared because we're back together... Sometimes i wonder what i'm doing and i wonder if somewhere he feels the same way. I guess you want what you can't have..... It's not that i don't want ross..... because i do love him... I don't know where i would be without him in my life BUT on the other hand by being with him i lose some of my freedoms that i've taken for granted. Now the incubus has been replaced with sasha.... I really like "techno" it makes me think better.... Anyhow so I love ross.... I'm scared because we're both falling more in love which will make the break up so much harder when it does happen. Relationships in high school generally (sorry) don't last.. There something that's put there to keep you busy..... And although ross and i might care for each other i wonder.... what would i do without him and will i be ok with him? When ross broke up with me this weekend he brought up some real interesting points.... "I dont feel the same way." he says.... Well i cried like a 2 year old and then walked out in the freezing rain... which i wish i could say he ran after me BUT he didn't.... Saturday rolled around and ross called me at 8:30 in the morning to say he missed me.. BLAH BLAH BLAH.... So we fought the entire day (or it seemed like it) and then finally after i got my new bad ass shoes and some cool gear i came home and somehow ended up at ross.... We talked and he says,"Anna i can't be without you i need you as my girlfriend..." And i'm like woah there bucko one minute you want me the next you don't and NOW you supp. want me back... Kinda wierd no OFFENCE... SO after i try to accept the whole plan of not being together we GET BACK TOGETHER... go figure... So now we're supp. real happy things arent wierd and its BACK TO HOW IT WAS BEFORE.... I'm not saying i don't want it.. I'm saying that i dont know that ross is ready for commentment... I think he's thinking hey i might lose anna so i should keep her.... Instead of really truley loving me. Because it's not like that... REAL LOVE isn't like that.... So anyhow I DO love ross and NO MATTER what i will be there for him.. I just can't decide if this is a obsticle or a end..... I wish he would tell me how he feels because he is never vocal with me. HE just expects me to know.... And i need to know those things. I mean sure he tells me he loves me and he does nice things for me like take me out blah blah blah but i still feel like something is missing. I want him to call me alot and i want him to just be so excited to hear from me and excited to see me just like i feel for him... So i want to be done with this topic because no matter what I LOVE ROSS STEWART.. no lie. And i'm willing to make things work even if it means going through a tough time... MOVING on.... IT's freezing outside which means NO SCHOOL... yeah baby... I really wish that i could be with ross so i don't have to sit in my cell.... BUT you know shit happens.... Damn the man right.. SO my dad made me real mad tonight... After telling me to leave ross' before it got dark i was confused... Considering that it was only 5 and that meant comign home in a hour or two... instead it all gets switched up you're 18 that means come home now.... Well ok dad.. .But what happened to the dark thing... I mean say one or the other but don't confuse me with two..... But on my way home i was totally relieved that i came home when i did because it was SUPER icy... So i hope chase gets home safe tonight... or that he stays with ross.... (i wish i could be so lucky) But seriouslly sooooooo Amy and Jenn went shopping this weekend and i'll give them a standing ovation.... Good call guys... So man i'm writing alot.... I'm wondering what i'm going to do for another 3 or 4 hours.. This sucks real bad..... I guess i'll talk online to people who are in the exact same situation as me.... O man maggie lost her dog tonight... :( That sucks... So everyone give maggie a smile and stuff because that stuff really hits you hard. I'm going to cry like a 3 year old when ginnie dies... And she's a GUINEA PIG.... Ross is watching EVOLUTION... that's cool considering he could be talking to me... But i'm venting because blah blah blah... I mean you know how it goes.... I'm already ready for the weekend... Let's hurry this week on UP..... So Jared that silly goose rode his bike to work today... I mean he has a car so i don't know why he would try riding his motorcyle to work while its freezing (good call) So he thinks hes going to leave it at mijos (inside) i think he's going to be brutally shot down.. No biggy though.... So im done for now... after writing a novel.... word::

.:Anna blogged on 7:18 PM:.
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.:Saturday, February 22, 2003:.

::Amy i want you to know that you're more than my sister you're my friend... You're one of my BEST friends, i never want you to hurt your feelings by not talking to you about my relationship with ross the only deal is i feel like i can relate more to jenn only because her heart is hurting just as bad as mine is. Amy you will always be very important aspect in my life and i WILL NEVER forget all the wonderful special things you have done for me... I love you so much and i appreciate you letting me stop by when i want. It means the most right now when i'm upset. I'm taking my medicene ALOT and it's making me just not care as much for ross and that's good. Because i guess he thinks that i'm just another girl... But i'm so picky and the deal is he thinks that he can have me when he wants me.. I dont date half the hot guys at my school just because i like someone with some intellectual sense to them..... But he'll wish he hadn't done this at some point and i'm gonna be with some hot ass dude with a bad ass body and i'll just be like well sucks to be you... I guess love doesn't say that but i guess i don't really love him then if i feel like this. Anyways i'll move on eventually and everything will go back to being somekind of cool..... So for now... Amy thankyou for being my sister for caring for me and being there for me. You're amazing. I LOVE YOU.....And thank you for understanding.... LOVE EVERYONE.... Erik i love you too merry christmas.. I excluded you from the last blog.... i'm out like a fat trizzout.....::

.:Anna blogged on 9:37 AM:.
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.:Friday, February 21, 2003:.

::I just want everyone to know that i'm thankful for some really important people that have been placed in my life.... DRUM ROLL... Amy, Jenn, Jared, Sam, And Taylor. You guys are what makes my life a little bit brighter. I'm so thankful that you guys have shown me that life does go on and that i'll be ok. The fact that you all stood up and said i'll be here you can call whenever means alot to me. Im going to be ok and that's what matters. You guys are my sun thankyou for being my friends... P.S. Bob thankyou for letting me borrow the coldplay and tool cd.. that was great too.... I'm gonna try to sleep... ::

.:Anna blogged on 11:34 PM:.

::well well well... there have been a few lets say... changes that have happened this past evening... and the wierd thing is it's gonna be alright.. I really hope this isnt a cinderella fairytale evening where i wake up tomorrow feeling like shit... BUT i really dont think it's gonna be like that.. For one, the new wore off and i'm cool with that, i get to chill with my boys more often stay up late talkign about good stuff instead of worrying about things that might be troubling ross.... I mean shit happens, and no one can change that... I'm thankful that i had ross blessed into my life for the short period of time.. But we'll be friends and i'll be there for him whenever he needs someone to lean on.. I know what it feels like to be depressed.. Now dont get me wrong i still love the little jalepeno but i guess it's turned into that friend feeling. You've got to care about someone as a friend before you can put everything into something you're unsure of. Ross and i had alot of the same issues going on in our life so we clung like hell to keep each other. The wierd thing is i'm glad ross said what he said to me tonight... I am.. Because now i know that somewhere inside i've been feeling that way for the past 3 months... I've just been scared to admit that i felt like that. I was scared to give up the habit.... I want ross and i to be close and if we can reconcile that would be cool but it's got to be more like being friends.... I still love thinking about the good times our first kiss, the first i love you, and the first time ross got me out of some hefty trouble.. My real friends now about the ian incident.... But cool whatever i'll be there for you ross when you need me because more than my love i'm you're friend... See you in the next episode... im out like a fat trout.....::

.:Anna blogged on 11:00 PM:.
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.:Thursday, February 20, 2003:.

::I love ross merry christmas!!!!!!!!!! More than lemonaide on a hot summer day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!::

.:Anna blogged on 5:47 PM:.
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.:Tuesday, February 18, 2003:.

::I just had one of those really good feelings. ONE OF THOSE FEELINGS that just make you happy. I read Amy's & Jenn's blog hoping to find something happy. It makes me so happy to think i'm really growing up that i know GOOD people like my sister and Jenn. Im learning from Jenn i must admit. She must be so much stronger than I am. I realize that what happened to me and ross was just a misunderstanding but I figured he'd come crawling back to me and it seems i've come crawling back to him... Man this shit sucks. It makes me happy to see Jenn at Amy's and it makes me happy to see how happy Amy is with Jenn. There like a small little family and that's nice. I'm really happy with the friends i have right now. Sad that it took this long to find them i guess. I have to comment on yesterday. My heart yes broken, was still very excited to go to amy's feel welcomed to sit and chill. Sam and Taylor stopped by and then i went to eat with them, that was very nice, taylor bought me lunch... Later in the evening i dropped back by amy's to keep my thoughts of ross, my family also attended to check out amy's new PAD.. WHICH IS TOTALLY BAD ASS... i have to admit... except for the "gay" mobile.. JUST KIDDING AMY... it's very "modern" anyway we watched the Bachelor and the snooty chick didn't get picked. I was excited i'm not gonna lie.. I still think she looked like a "sly" dentist... ahahhahah... Ok jk.. Man sheryl crow has some good break up music... Ok moving along back to the whole point of the story. I had a great time at amy's just because bob let me borrow his tool & coldplay cd to burn (2 of his favorites) he never lets me borrow anything i think he thinks i'll break them or something, even though i treat them like they're my cha cha's (i like my cha cha's...) And amy and jenn and i all had this great gas relief party... Projectile shooting.... JUST KIDDING.... well maybe not... Anyway they made me feel welcomed and happy yesterday. I won't forget that. So ho ho merry christmas. I talked to kristen w today. She's a real sweet girl. I feel so bad for her bc her heart hurts so bad for patrick. I feel for her i do. I never thought i would feel for her during this time but I DO.... All i can say to her is it will either get better or it will go away.... I also talked to ross i can't figure out whether to be happy or just plain wonder. Today he told me he loved me and that he wanted to be with me. But for some reason i still feel like he doesn't really know... I guess it's either gonna be wierd for awhile or things will just slowly get better. I love him with all my heart and i feel so lonely without him.... Anyhow i didn't attend school again today... To be honest i really thought it was a B day.... Instead it was a A day... That's cool though. I need to go get a job and stuff today.. Too bad i'm lazy.... Alright well i'm done for now. Jenn and amy if you read this i love you two with all my heart.. ::

.:Anna blogged on 11:04 AM:.

::To Amy,
You're Blog really meant alot to me.... I mean that was exactly what i needed to see. It made me feel so good to be with you and Jenn yesterday everyone really made me feel better. Except when Jenn was ripping them.... hahahah no i'm just kidding.... But I'm so LUCKY to have you as a sister. You're amazing and i'm so thankful.... I love you and I'll never forget everything you've done for me.... Anna ::

.:Anna blogged on 8:18 AM:.

::Man, today sucks..... I wake up and that sucks that my day already sucks... I went to Ross' last night before i came home and it was just a lost cause. I came home and cried my eyes out.... What's the point in making something work if you really LOVE someone and they are just fooling with your head.... The thing is I COULD date other people, i could be with other guys... It's just i don't give my heart easy... ENOUGH SAID.... I just wish Ross would quit acting like he's not SURE now.. BECAUSE that's not what Love is about. I just want all of this to either be HOW IT WAS or BE OVER.... I'm not going to wait on someone for weeks to get their shit together sorry that's just not me... This week has been a HUGE HEARTBREAK.... real cool::

.:Anna blogged on 8:16 AM:.
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.:Monday, February 17, 2003:.

::I feel alone.... This shit isn't supposed to happen. ::

.:Anna blogged on 3:39 PM:.
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.:Sunday, February 16, 2003:.

::Rage is what i feel....::

.:Anna blogged on 10:04 PM:.

::I must say this weekend was full of suprises more than less. Friday we went to sam's i must say Valentine's had a great turnout... I know all of us enjoyed the fiesta at Sam & Taylor's... Excellent. I got to kiss brady on the cheek. SUPER GREAT.... Well saturday night had a great start kristen and i talked and were good so that's good. BUT more than that i was straight up there with the boys.... I suprised myself a few times believe me... Saturday also sucked big time...........Ummm david called my house and woke up my dad and my parents found out i've been over at Ross' on the weekends. NO GOOD. My dad was lets say more or less pretty pissed. My mom just sat as she always does and lets my dad do all the talking the thing is she tells me one thing and then when my dad gets mad just like i predict he will she totally lies and plays it off. She can never stand up for what she says. The real deal is my mom said i coudl go get food with ross and be back by 11, so i didnt go eat with ross (obviously) because my dad fell asleep and i knew when he woke up and found out that my mom let me go he would start yelling blah blah. So i waited and when i finally was abotu ready to go and sam came and picked me up. MY DAD did exactly what i thought he would go crazy. SO my mom (Get this) actually lies and says i said you could go to dinner thats it... I can't even begin to start to say how mad i was.... AND Then ross has the nerve to actually call me and bitch... Anna you were mean all day blah blah cry me a river. Seriously and then go and drown in it. PLEASE. BC all day long i called ross and was like o honey i miss you blah blah... SO i was never mean not even once. But whatever cool ross turn it into some big deal where you're the victim as always.... But ill remember you weren't there for me today.... I also have to say how can you get it on with some other girl's boyfriend the day after they break up especially when they're going on two years? I dont understand... I dont... Maybe soem of us forget how it feels to have there hearts broken.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 10:03 PM:.
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.:Monday, February 10, 2003:.

::P.S.S being sick sucks 5 cow tounges.......(p.S)::

.:Anna blogged on 6:15 PM:.

::Ok ok i'm not gonna beat around the bush i love that little salmon plant. I do he's great... But i still have the desire and passion to rip counterstrike off everyone's computer. Well i'm out like a FAT TRIZZOUT.....::

.:Anna blogged on 6:14 PM:.

::So i'm still sick and feel like i'm a walking zombie. I'm was so glad to hear that ross was coming over to bring me some goodies for my cold... That was cute and lasted a WOMPING 20 minutes... And then Ross decided out of the 4 to 6 hours he could have been studying he decided to PLAY COUNTERSTRIKE!!!!!!!!!!!! <------ DIE!!!!!!!!! Instead of talkign to his dieing girlfriend on her deathbed. But that's ok I'll remember that the next time he's emotional and wants someone to be there for him.... Instead i'm gonna rip his guts out and make him eat them! And then I'm gonna rip all his arms and legs off and beat him with them.. AND after he's bruised and can't walk anymore i'm gonna delete counterstrike from his computer so i NEVER have to see that stupid game on at his apartment or hear about him playing EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And then maybe he'll think about his decisions on how often his girlfriend gets sick... ::

.:Anna blogged on 6:13 PM:.

::I hate being sick... (p.S.) ::

.:Anna blogged on 12:02 PM:.
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.:Sunday, February 09, 2003:.

::hmmmmm my stomach is hungry and everybody isnt going to be ready for another hour!!!!!!!!! My stomach might as well just jump out of my stomach on go on some rampage. Moving along... i found those lyrics yesterday and had to put them on my blog, very nice. So everyone knows my new interest on Jim..... My dad informed me that he has all the DOORS records so i'm gonna have to bust some of those good old guys out. Yeah so i'm falling apart. My nose is running like a water hose! Anyways i'm gonna start getting myself together. ::

.:Anna blogged on 11:13 AM:.
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.:Saturday, February 08, 2003:.

::Drifting
On a sea of forgotten teardrops
On a lifeboat
Sailing for
Your love

Sailing home

Drifting
On a sea of old heartbreaks
On a lifeboat
Sailing for
Your love
Sailing home
-Jimmi Hendrix

Hello, my friend
So happy to see you again
I was so alone
All by my self
I just couldn't make it

Have you heard, baby
What the winds blowing round
Have you heard, baby
A whole lot of peoples coming right on down

Communication, yeah
Is coming on strong
And don't give a damn, baby
If your hair is short or long, huh

I said, get out of your grave
Everybody is dancing in the street
Do what you know, don't be slow
You gotta practice what you preach
'Cause it's time for you and me
Come to face reality (it sounds like he says "fake reality")

Forget about the past, baby
Things ain't what they used to be
Keep on Straight Ahead
Keep on straight Ahead

Straight Ahead, baby
Straight Ahead, baby

We got to stand side by side
We got to stand together and organize
They say power to the people,
That's what they're screamin'
Freedom of the soul
Pass it on, pass it on to the young and old

You got to tell the children the truth
They don't need a whole lot of lies
Because one of these days, baby
They'll be running things
So when you give them love
You better give it right
Woman and child and man and wife
The best love to have is the Love Of Life

Pushing on Straight Ahead
Straight Ahead, baby

Hello my friend
It's so good to see you again
And I've been all by my self
I don't think I can make it alone
I gotta keep on pushing ahead
-Jimmie Hendrix
::

.:Anna blogged on 3:27 PM:.

::I haven't forgotten....::

.:Anna blogged on 3:20 PM:.
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.:Friday, February 07, 2003:.

::"This is the end, beautiful friend.
It hurts to set you free,
But you'll never follow me.
The end of laughter and soft lies.
The end of nights we tried to die.
This is the... end."
-Jim Morrison::

.:Anna blogged on 6:42 PM:.

:: I've always been attracted to ideas that were about revolt against authority. I like ideas about the breaking away or overthrowing of established order. I am interested in anything about revolt, disorder, chaos—especially activity that seems to have no meaning. It seems to me to be the road toward freedom—external revolt is a way to bring about internal freedom. Rather than starting inside, I start outside—reach the mental through the physical. I am a Sagittarian—if astrology has anything to do with it—the Centaur—the Archer—the Hunt—But the main thing is that we are The Doors. -Jim Morrison
::

.:Anna blogged on 12:19 PM:.

::I'm sitting at Sam & Taylor's.... And i can hear Rasta & Dinky running around downstairs... So Sam and Daniel just went to go take a
test for english i guess??? So when Miss. Ceballos gets back we're going to make a run to G-vine Mills and go buy a JIM MORRISON
poster....I'm not gonna lie when i say i've never been interested in the doors until i saw the movie... So I guess "keeping a open mind" is
where i need to be.... YEA.... Sam is now offically Bob and i'm Jim... Sounds good to me. I wonder what Ross is up too... He's been at
his house for awhile now i'm sure getting into lot's of trouble...;) So it boggles my mind about all the drugs that were used in the 70's...
I mean everyday that stuff goes on but we're all so sheltered its not like most of us have a clue.... So i hear Patrick and Kristen broke up..
That sucks for kristen and patrick they had a long relationship.. And most would think i'm real happy and laughing about it but its kinda
sad to see people after they've been together for so long and then they just fall apart... Like I said it's sad... I know kristen doesn't think
much of me and that's ok... But i know what she's going through.... I must include i hate rumors, i mean even to hear them.. Because
when there bad all you want to know is more about them all that juicy stuff that you NEED to just leave alone... So at this time that's
what i'm really trying to do... Especially since the subject is about something I'M REAL TOUCHY on.... If i find out that this one particular
rumor is true for some freak reason that will be bestowed on myself i'll be real dissapointed because it WOULD BE LIKE THE PERSON to do
something of the sort.... I mean she did it to me.... P.S. being Selfish and inconsiderate will come back and slap you in the face... Well
moving along.... Tonight is Friday and we all know what that means... GOOD CLEAN FUN... (good for those practicing) ok time out for a
moment i have to laugh for a moment about a certain purchase that went on that is suppos. so awesome.... LET's say Someone's got
some practicing to do.... Bc its making us all have a good laugh... I guess i must have alot of anger because it's flowing out like hmmm
well i don't know... DID I MENTION I CANT WAIT TO BE DONE WITH SCHOOL.... i can't wait to not see all these petty faces and silly
games.... It's all so ridiculous and CHILDISH to say the LEAST.... But it's cool because each day will pass and there's nothing anyone
can do.... I'm in charge of myself and i find comfort in knowing i won't be worried about what other people or doing or who they're with...
And when i finally do move out on my own and have my family I'll make sure i'm not carrying my little bag of issues with me... ::

.:Anna blogged on 12:13 PM:.
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.:Thursday, February 06, 2003:.

::It wouldnt' matter if i said i love you 5,000 times it's not in what you say or what comes out of your mouth its the feeling inside. That feeling of wholeness and meaning. It's that tingle up your spin, that shiver all over your body that feeling of absolute happiness that things can't get any better. So it wouldn't matter if i told you i loved you over and over... B/c you either know it in you're heart or you don't... I've been there, and i'm still here.... so why do i feel like you're not?::

.:Anna blogged on 11:36 AM:.

::The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said.
- Peter F. Drucker
::

.:Anna blogged on 11:33 AM:.

::If you want something very, very badly, let it go free. If it comes back to you, it?s yours forever. If it doesn?t, it was never yours to begin with. - Anonymous

Sonnet: Pablo Neruda
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

that this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.



::

.:Anna blogged on 11:32 AM:.

::Last night Ross and i got into a fight and it broke my heart into 5,000 pieces. Ross has been through alot so when he's going through a rough time or just feels bad he becomes my first priority (no matter what) For awhile now i've been feeling that really unhappy feeling. The feeling that you can't explain why you're having it but you are. Ross had nothing good to say. He blames it on the fact that "he's not good at talking" which really sucks for me and to be honest i want someone who is going to be there for my 110% like i'm going to be there for them. I don't know what to say to him now i just feel numb.....
Now moving on to my relationship with my dad. All my friends know my dad. Awhile ago you could have looked at our relationship as a very close one... It wasn't until i began being with Ross more often that my dad started acting wierd. Instead of telling me he missed me and he woudl like to spend time with me he is hurting me in more ways than one. He says things to me that just make me feel terrible about myself. What happened to my dad? I never thought a moment would come in my life where i would want to be away from him. I do know this though i want my old dad back.
Anyhow i wish i could explain why things have been wierd, bc it's wierd for me to think about it. One minute i'm really happy wiht my friends, ross and my family and the next i feel so LONELY and upset. I don't know how to find the old me.
*** It really sucks when you do things for people to make them happy because it makes you happy and they don't do anything, they think simple phrases and silly ideals are to make things better... sometimes i feel like i'm going to explode inside because i can't let out what i'm feeling.... When is all this going to change? im tired of hearing people say they will do things and be selfish when all they do is act the same way they did in the beginning.... would you really care if i wasn't in your life or is it just a game you're playing in your own head?*** because last night that's how you acted.... selfish, rude and INCONSIDERATE.... I'm sorry if what i'm saying sounds rude but sometimes the truth hurts right? (you hurt me last night)


::

.:Anna blogged on 11:26 AM:.
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.:Wednesday, February 05, 2003:.

::i gotta make this quick so here it goes..... MY MIND IS CRAZY... And i'm sitting here wondering why things that are happening in my life are happening. There's alot to lay out and alot i need to say... TOO bad for SAT class... I already miss ross that little sweetcake..... I'm sure he's playing beach volleyball with daniel (hmmmm) i leave it at this i wish my dad would quit saying things that he knows is gonna hurt my feelings.... ~anna~::

.:Anna blogged on 3:00 PM:.
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.:Saturday, January 25, 2003:.

::all i feel like today is crying... I just feel like things aren't as good as i would like them to be. I hate that feeling when nobody understands what you're going through and even if you did tell them they would just nod their silly little heads and humor you as if they even care at all.... I hate when people make excuses over excuses to try to justify just plain simply not wanting to do something... Like i said all i feel like doing today is just crying until i finally fall asleep... ::

.:Anna blogged on 1:38 PM:.
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.:Friday, January 24, 2003:.

::**There is room for BEAUTY in every facet of existence ~american beauty~ Alan Ball**
** "I guess I could be pissed off at what happened to me. But it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst and then I remember to relax and stop trying to hold onto it. And then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea what i'm talking about I'm sure. But don't worry you will someday......" ~american beauty~ Kevin Spacey ~the best movie ever~::

.:Anna blogged on 12:48 PM:.

::In regards to ERIK SMITH... It takes a real person to stand up to you're close friends.... I'm thankful that you've been put into my life... Because people like you are what i wake up for.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 11:28 AM:.

::I must say before all this drama I praised DEREK for having such a true and honest heart, a person of integrity and peace of mind. I'm sorry to say i lost that... I lost it the day he decided to open his mouth to talk about me. To be honest he was the last person i ever expected to say bad things about me. I'm not gonna lie derek and i were never that close we were only close because of how happy he made kyleen and the fact that she would be over there. We were close by association. Thank god my face hasn't be quote "mangled" because if in fact that did happen it's true i would find out who my true friends are.. BUT the real truth of it all is... We have all found who are real friends are...I see them everyday and i can guarantee you this.. If i was to be really hurt in a car wreck for example i can guarantee you that all of MY FRIENDS (and you know who you are) at this point in time would be right next to me in my hospital bed telling me i could make it..... That it doesn't really matter if my face is all messed up because it's still me behind all of that... And something else who is anybody to judge why people love each other.. BECAUSE honestly it's not about keeping a image or reputation.. And if that's how someone really feels obviouslly there with someone for the wrong reason's.... (PATHETIC) I will NEVER look at this person the same, this person who decided to go behind my back even though he DOESN'T know me... He knows only of what his girlfriend tells him and what he thinks he see's on my outside. My advice for this person is the next time you think about opening you're mouth to say my name, STOP because i have the decency not to say yours... I'm repulsed that you could even say the things you said... AND further more that you tried to make up for it by YELLING at me for the THINGS you said... i would have appreciated a honest sincere apology.... that would have been nice... also you condone the things you say when you said well this person agrees with me... SO derek i'm through until you see what you've done... ::

.:Anna blogged on 11:26 AM:.
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.:Sunday, January 19, 2003:.

::Well this weekend has already flown by... Ross moved into his new apartment... (he's so sweet) I think everything looks nice and (smells good thanks to chase's mom.) So my family invited the neighbors over for some food... I'm really hungry even though i already ate half a crossant and some soup.. I LOVE SOUP AND BAGELS... Anyways i'm done for now... that was quick (i can't even begin to concentrate!)::

.:Anna blogged on 11:25 AM:.
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.:Wednesday, January 15, 2003:.

::Hmmm today has been quite better
than the past few days... I feel so
hypocritical to admit that everything
is cool b/t me and sam again. I
mean I'm glad, it's exactly what i
wanted..... I guess by reading
kyleen's blog the other day it made
more sense to me that friendships
that are really REAL are the one's
worth keeping. I guess sometimes
it's just confusing to figure out which
one's are worth keeping rather than
just knowing. So i called Amy tonight....
I guess she was busy doing other
stuff... It kinda made me sad just
because we made this whole promise
to each other that we would be closer
before i go to college. And now that i've
been with ross not that, that is a
downer it's just that since i've been with
him and since things have changed
she's been different. I feel more
unwelcomed to call and or come over..
AND that just plain sucks.... She's one
of the closest people in my life, i can call
on her for anything... So it's hard being
away from someone that means so much
to you. Don't get me wrong i know that
she LOVES me just as much as i love her...
I just wonder when things will go back to
the way they were instead of how they
are now... Moving on to a new subject....
DID i mention that i need a job?
I mean yeah sure i have one i just hate it
BUT it's cool for now.. P.S. SEAN
DWANE is gay gay gay.... He's such
a winner i hope all my kids grow up to
be just like him.... FOR REAL.... jk...
I wanted to touch on a new subject now...
I have to admit that we all sit and talk
of drama... I mean god all of US...
There has to be something wrong in all
of our lives to be this upset... I mean is it
friends, boyfriends MAN I DON'T know but
somethings wack.... I mean it's easy as
this... IF you don't like someone or someone
doesn't like you just be nice... It doesn't
kill anyone to USE common courtesy. If
we all sit and look at all the bad things in
our friends and people we don't like, how
do we expect to get anywhere? God what
advice for myself... We all know how i am
about wack shit like this... Anyhow i'm
out for the night... WORD.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 8:16 PM:.
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.:Tuesday, January 14, 2003:.

::I am totally overcome with emotion... The moral of my blog is plain... It makes me wonder what people think goes into a traditional recipe for popularity.... It's peculiar to me to think that people fashion their lives to be only concerned about physical appearnce and i wonder do they think about at all what the impression they place on everyone else???? Customary to popular belief it's really not all about WHO you're boyfriend is, what he does, who you hang with, what you're wearing, what you'll be doing this weekend.. I mean give me the break... PLEASE... I'm sick of looking at people who really DON"T know what life is about... I have so much respect for people who are actually going to do something with their lives. PEOPLE who are GOING to actually make a DIFFERNCE in this world of black and white.... IT's about how you take the opportunity given to you. I just need more strength to see things differentlly from everyone else. i need to confront issues left in crevices that i'm scared of. I want to think i'm growing up slowly if nothing else. I hate the feeling when you really hate how things are in you're life... All i want to do is leave , and i know i'm just going to be just as lonely when i get wherever i want to be. There are words blurring through my head now so this will be random but i have to get it out...
portray something you're not, adolescent, different, visualize to the highest degree of what you can be, how can you construct what someone else already built, lack of individuality, brief span of life, wandering people lost in their own thoughts, jealous enemies, inflamed by passion, demands of virtue, overcome with emotion, strength that i don't possess, consider what you could have been, what you are now.... modern images, important or unimportant, enjoy yourself right? discouraged, annoyed or angered, intelligent amidst signified information, transparent in a world of color, no connection to reason, dramatic persons, adversity, limited selfless, surrounded, thematic relationships, flow, vangrancy, unnatural, who do you associate with? Do you shame yourself?
i have so many thoughts in my head and they are going 5 thousand miles a minute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want everyone including myself to think about who you're real friends are... NOT what you think they used to be.... Im not goign to make any excuses up... What are they really doing for you???? Where is everyone really going because we're not goign to be 18 forever..... i'm done only to begin ::

.:Anna blogged on 12:47 PM:.
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.:Monday, January 13, 2003:.

::Anyways.... thats what i have to start off with.... First off i realized some of my actions are what certain people would call "NORMAL" but i've seen things other people haven't. AND to make the point on the BULLSEYE.. there my actions... AND further more they have nothing to do with ANYONE ELSE... IT makes me so mad, angry, dissapointed and so much more that SAM had the motivation to call me the other night and start yelling at ME... GIVE me a break thats something that you just dont do.. AND how funny that the drama just keeps on going.. I mean i'm not kidding it makes me want to pull all my arms and legs off and smack her with them. If i would have included the little bit of information that she wanted she would have FLIPPED out in front of everyone and put TAYLOR in this terrible position that is TOTALLY beyond me. WHO would i be to create SUCH drama at ROSS... EXCUSE me but when was i ever that big of a drama queen. Ummm yeah don't confuse me with somebody else..... And further more just because you have put yourself in a position don't try to blame ME for something that YOU"RE BOYFRIEND did.. ALL that has happened from this is her making a ASS of herself So here's what i have to say... MY LIFE WILL GO ON..... ::

.:Anna blogged on 11:28 AM:.
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.:Thursday, January 09, 2003:.

::Another year... another semester of DRAMA..... ooo what drama colleyville brings to everyone.... Makes me want to VOMIT... The thing i don't understand here is why can't people just RELAX????? Anyway so all is cool in anna's life... Ross and i are STILL very happy which makes me VERY VERY happy... He's so cute, we went to lunch today and he got his hair cut and he looked so CUTE..... Cute i guess being MY WORD OF THE DAY... Off topic for a few... Getting you're heart broken SUCKS... SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS. I mean we've all been down the path once or twice and for others in our grade, not to name names (in the high 10's) more close to 20... OOooo i have to smack my hands because who am i to point fingers at a certain person who can't keep her legs closed.... Anyway off to the more happy note... ROSS!!!!!!!!! :)!!!!! So i'm happy blah blah blah..... merry christmas... P.S. Amy love you tons (my sister) good mother did anyone actually think i meant another amy.... word... ::

.:Anna blogged on 4:23 PM:.
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.:Monday, January 06, 2003:.

::hmmmm... i know that im supposed to be getting ready to go eat... BUT im still feeling a little unfamilar with familar territory.... Things are just now getting back to the regular where i plan to keep them for a LONG time... I wish i could explain all the things that have happened lately but i would only be able to explain a blur of expierences. I should really apply for college.. SERIOUSLLY... i need to do that big time. ::

.:Anna blogged on 10:41 AM:.
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.:Sunday, December 29, 2002:.

::
*~* Girl *~*

From in the shadow she calls
And in the shadow she finds a way
finds a way
And in the shadow she crawls
Clutching her faded photograph my image under her thumb
Yes with a message for my heart
Yes with a message for my heart

She's been everybody else's girl maybe one day she'll be her own
Everybody else's girl maybe one day she'll be her own
-tori amos::

.:Anna blogged on 1:51 PM:.

::My eyes have been opened and the world is mine.. All ideals and customs are what i believe them to be. i feel like everything has revealed itself from underneath a blanket.... Funny how things piece themelves together....

*~* Precious Things *~*

These precious things
Let them bleed
Let them wash away
These precious things
Let them break their hold over me

I wanna smash the faces
Of those beautiful boys
Those christian boys
So you can make me cum
that doesn't make you Jesus

These precious things
Let them bleed
Let them wash away
These precious things
Let them break their hold over me

-tori amos...::

.:Anna blogged on 1:48 PM:.
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.:Tuesday, December 24, 2002:.

::well its christmas eve.... let me just say i miss being a kid and waiting for santa to come... I used to wake up at about 3 in the morning and go out into the living room and flash the lights real quick to see if santa had made his rounds yet... And he always did.. And from that moment on i would be wide awake until i would say another prayer and fall back asleep. And all i feel like now is it's JUST another christmas... Blah Blah Blah.... let us not forget that this is the last REAL christmas at home for most of us. Shouldnt everything be made the best of its ability? I wonder, I do.. Maybe i just feel so much negativity bc i still feel really sick. I woke up my head hurt STILL, my back ached and my throat was killing me.... Thank god i don't have to work for awhile... I'm serious. My sister's dog is staying over for awhile.. Bam is so cute but he has SUCH a bladder problem... (he's still a PUPPY!!!) Yeah i love amy too, she can def. put a smile on my face. When we're together we do some of the most crazy things.. I mean we sing and dance, we hop around like rabid frogs... I have some good times with her. Anyhow I think i'm going to go for now... I hope Christmas puts a smile on everyone's face... ::

.:Anna blogged on 10:31 AM:.
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.:Saturday, December 21, 2002:.

::Hmmm it's Saturday... The first REAL day of break... and i feel terrible.... All i can say is that i will learn from my prior mistakes... Josh stopped by today it was nice to see him. So that's cool. I'm going to see the NUTCRACKER tonight and i'm super excited bc i love ballet!!!! Kyleen and i were watching this one chick ice skate yesterday ooo after we had been to 3 malls already! A tad bit ridiculous i think so.... anyway so we were watching the girl ice skate she was really good in all reality or lets admit the girlz got skillz..... So finished some applications today... i need a new job and lets make it a PRONTO!!!!!!!! yee haw.... Ok ok so i'm not that excited but still... I'm gonna go find some grub to munch on so ill write more later... tah tah::

.:Anna blogged on 2:01 PM:.
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.:Thursday, December 19, 2002:.

::ross makes me :)!!!!!!!! ::

.:Anna blogged on 3:25 PM:.

::Wow doesn't that suck that christmas is umm in a few days... Do i have any money. NOPE... It's cool i do everything to myself, right? Seriously... I hate when people act like they know what they're talking about by throwing shit i say in my face.... I mean on second thought i really dont care about them...Obviouslly i know what i meant or else i wouldnt have said it. It just makes those who "think" they know what i mean look all the more STUPID. SO it's cool. I think it really sucks for kyleen that all this STUPID i repeaT STUPID stuff is STILL going on... Give me a break, isn't the blog thing for everyone SINGULAR to write their feelings down.. I realize it's public but why do we have to go read all of each other's shit. TO be honest if you go and write ooo girls you were cool tonight blah blah then what the fuck... It's stupid bc obviouslly you're blogging for attention... I mean it's different when you're talking about YOUR feelings that are in your head not wriiting them bc you KNOW your friend is going to see them bc if you are that pathetic then obviouslly you're blogging for the wrong reason.. I needed to say all that because i think i might explode other wise. I understand that i didnt start all this, i'm like every other person who just wanted to supp. write their feelings down BLAH BLAH BLAH.... But i mean this is MY blog.. MY FEELINGS.. I lay my heart out when i write. I'm not writing for all my friends to see... When i told kyleen and poss brooke that i wasnt goign to read other ppl's blogs i meant it. I think it's really NONE of my business. I dont' want to hear about some petty fight that one of the senior girl's are having.. BC honestly what's that got to do with me???? I want to hear about my close friends problems, but i know if theres really something bothering me there gonna call me not write it down and ask me to read it... If you have to write something in your blog about me to let me know you care then just dont bother. Bc you can say all that stuff to my face, it will mean more anyway. You knwo all the more petty stuff is going on just bc people don't have the guts to say things to people's faces. anyways im done for now::

.:Anna blogged on 3:21 PM:.

::Here's some of my thoughts for today...
I feel so emotional..... From now on to all my friends or the ones i think or supposed to be my friends... Stop acting fake to me... If you have something that you're thinking... do me the favor and talk to ME... Isn't thats what its all about? Don't smile at me in the halls if inside you're burning with hate, don't talk to me and act like everything's ok... It seems like all everyone does is talk about how much they hate everyone.. Myself included. I'll take my own advice when i say Let's all grow up right now and be done with bullshit. ::

.:Anna blogged on 9:41 AM:.
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.:Wednesday, December 18, 2002:.

::Kyleen my heart goes out to you... I'm sorry Derek & Amy Thrive on pain.. That really sucks.... You know ill always be here for you... ALWAYS.....


******* P.S. Amy brown rocks my world, she's so cool to place blame on other people... I wish i could be more like her.... What a role model....*********::

.:Anna blogged on 1:59 PM:.

::p.s. why do people have to complain all the time... Do you think people should feel sorry for you?::

.:Anna blogged on 1:54 PM:.

::You know i never really liked cliques..... o well... ::

.:Anna blogged on 1:52 PM:.
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.:Saturday, December 14, 2002:.

::Hello Hello Hello.... Today has been such a wonderful day.. We all have to nod and agree when i say the weather was awesome. I do have quite a bit to comment on, on various subjects. It's so interesting to read what everyone feels and all the expierences they go through... You know I feel like someone has lifted a blanket off my head and said here's the sun..... I mean i don't take my medicene anymore (although the doctor says it's bc i might have reached my "quota" of ceratone levels... I doubt that.. O well... While i'm on topic i wanted to add this....
de*pres*sion (di*presh`en), n. 1. Act of pressing
down. 2. Depressed condition. 3. A low place; hollow.
4. Sadness; gloominess; low spirits.
5. Reduction of activity; dullness of trade.
6. The angular distance of an object below the horizon.
i just wanted to let everyone know there is a difference in being happy sad and being depressed. I know people question whether or not hmmm someone can be depressed. I know it... I watched my sister everyday for 4 an a half years... i know how i felt.. Theres no response to let those who dont understand, understand... I mean it's mostly caused by chemicals... How could that not be possible... You tell me. TO end this conversation i want to say i'm thankful for my friends that pulled me out of the dark.... You'll always be in my heart....
Anyway today is my grandma's birthday!!!! She's 73!!!! Merry Christmas to her... And kyleen had mucho mucho fun with you at the mall today.. You're grandma always makes me laugh.... SCREEECH!!! ( i told you're mom we should have flushed you down the toilet!!! hahhaha
i'm gonna go now .... Anna::

.:Anna blogged on 6:05 PM:.
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.:Thursday, December 12, 2002:.

::I guess all i can say is this is a test. I should have known that if i had such a GOOD doctor's appt. that this was all going to come CRASHING down... IT's so not fair... This is my Blog so i dont care how petty or silly this sounds.. My little sister is OBV. ALOT bigger than i am... She took my white spaggettie strap shirt, OOOO wait did i need to wear that yesterday... I only looked for it for a hour.. O wait no kate was prob wearing it... Because ooo yeah she was wearing it today!!!!!!!!!! THAT makes me so mad i cant stand it. And what makes it worse is my mom honestly doesnt have the heart to get mad at katy. IT drives me up the wall. It just doesn't make any sense.. And i should have known that if i went to the doctor today and said o sure i've been off my medicene now for some time, I"M GOOD... i should have known all the anger in side of me would JUST come out. I hate when this type of stuff happens to me.. It makes me so angry that my little sister acts so ignorant and naive... She does it all the time... And further more it makes me so mad about all the talking shit i've heard lately.... SHUT UP... i dont want to hear about it..... it takes a REAL friend to stand up to another friend... i'm leaving it at that.... ::

.:Anna blogged on 1:57 PM:.
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.:Tuesday, December 10, 2002:.

::Well today has been pretty nice.... Ok i lied... It's been good. I went and got my allergy shot then went to eat lunch with Taylor and Sam. OOo while we were at Wendy's, Bryan Pomeroy uhhh kicked some guys yoo hoo with thomas paul... I was a little disturbed to say the least... O well too much fun for me. I was tanning today when i realized HEY i totally forgot about that BOYZ n the HOOD song... So i downloaded it.... Merry christmas... I've decided to quit MIjo's... OR the helll hole like i like to call it. POOR kyleen... Man well at least connie likes you... Good thing i dont work till 5 today... :) SO i called Ross today twice... Did that little hot dog even pick up the phone? NO!!!!!!!!! OOOO until he calls taylor and informs us that he lost his cell phone all together... THanks for remembering my number douche bag.... IT's cool... (I guess) Anyway ive got to write ANOTHER letter for school to MRs. HUTTON.... i'll write more later hopefully if i get the chance... ~ANNA
::

.:Anna blogged on 12:41 PM:.
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.:Monday, December 09, 2002:.

::I just wanted to say... Most of the time I don't regret the things i do. But my actions at Taylor's weren't quite what they should have been. But keep in mind i'll always stand up for my friends.... and i'll always be there... ::

.:Anna blogged on 4:22 PM:.

::The BEST quote EVER.....
Take the course opposite to custom and you will do well.
- Jean Jacques Rousseau
::

.:Anna blogged on 3:25 PM:.

:: Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing.
- Abraham Lincoln To fight out a war, you must believe something and want something with all your might. So must you do to carry anything else to an end worth reaching. More than that, you must be willing to commit yourself to a course, perhaps a long and hard one, without being able to foresee exactly where you will come out.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

::

.:Anna blogged on 3:22 PM:.

::Well i've offically had about ENOUGH of the rain. It's so cold out and that certainly doesn't make my mood or day any better. I at least wish it would be warm from the sun and poss. have a slight breeze. Enough with the wishing and hoping. I must say i hate when you recognize something that someone else has done and doing so it makes you feel so good about yourself... Then to your suprise that person never actually recognized the things youve done.... I dunno I'm really emotional today. I have good days and Bad and somehow this day just made a rapid turn for the worst.... I donno.... I hate this STUPID fight with maggie. Everytime i think about it, it just makes my head spin adn my stomach churn... I think its so stupid!!!! How can one person be so pathetic that they have to make such a big deal out of nothing.... I mean thank god for college or else what would i have to look foward... The good news is she will never have to hear from me again.... And the next time she needs back up from her heartbroken (b/c god knows i was there for her EVERYTIME) or some stupid shit like that and all her friends bail, i wonder what she'll do..... i really do. TO be honest i shouldnt say stuff like that... But after you put your heart into something by apololgizing and then it gets thrown in you're face.. Believe me i'll move on but without you.... Especially after you call me trash... Anyway i'm done with all that h/s b/s.... I just want to see Ross at this time. I also really enjoy how dustin called me yesterday (go figure) Makes things so much better... Uhhh yeah so i hate SERVICE LEARNING... AND I HATE MRS. HUTTON even more... What a lieing pyscho... i dont have enough energy to fight with my parents. THey think i'm lieing but i know what really happens. She made everything such a big deal... It made me SO MAD.... She acted like i practically skip everyday.... O well... I DONT CARE... ALl i look foward to is the weekend, and that my friends is what gets me through the day.... Anyways i'm going to go i felt like ive said what i needed to for today.... god help me... ::

.:Anna blogged on 3:08 PM:.
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